Martial Haven; Comic by Cole + Sketch Showcase Regularly.
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rexos
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 4:58 am Posts: 5785 Country:
Gender: Male
Skype: reXos.
Currently Playing: Boi, ffxiv and dbz fighterz.
Waifu: am lonely
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blue hair dude looks chubby!
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Tue Aug 20, 2013 6:20 am |
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cole
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 7:33 pm Posts: 1730 Country:
Gender: Male
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You look chubby. . .
He won't look so "chubby" in the comic. That was for anatomy purposes mostly.
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Tue Aug 20, 2013 7:58 am |
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Geno
Site Admin
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:32 am Posts: 11709 Country:
Gender: Anime Girl
Currently Playing: Undertale
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Guys...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think he's looking for a critique. He's letting you know that he'll be making a comic in a manga style, and for you guys to look out for it if you're interested. I know it's natural on MG to start critiquing like nobody's business whenever someone posts a piece of artwork, but you all should really stop jumping the gun and trying to "help" unless they explicitly ask for it. Often times it does more damage than good to give critique to someone who isn't looking for it at the time.
That being said, I'm looking forward to your manga Cole. I always get excited when MGers create this type of content. When does the first page come out?
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Tue Aug 20, 2013 1:43 pm |
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cole
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 7:33 pm Posts: 1730 Country:
Gender: Male
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On the contrary my brethren; I want positive criticism. Like for instance, someone (not going to say who), said the girl's boobs look like a sack of potatos hanging all out. I know. This drawing was just for promotional purposes. Saying her boobs look like a sack of potatos does not help me in the least. They will certainly be made proportional to the rest of her body. Now... lets stray from this... weird... discussion.
As for help... you know how I drew that femur and I quote "Quite a beautiful femur indeed." Yeah. I was going to ask you for a bit of help. Ok. So you know the grey haired dude? Imagine him in front profile. The thing I'm perplexed about is the hair. I kinda sorta understand anatomy and perspective, but I was wondering if you could whip up a quick sketch that describes/explains this? Thank you. It'll help a lot.
Uh... at the moment, I'm writing the story. I'm busy with school and such so it's not at too good of a pace. Pages? Hmm... I've got a few pages that could get out in the open before too long.
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Tue Aug 20, 2013 5:48 pm |
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clubby
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Here's a QaA Will it have children, teens, or adults?
What manga or anime is this series inspired by?
How many chapters will there be?
Have you made anything else like this?
Is there a planned release date?
Is it set in the future, past, or present?
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Tue Aug 20, 2013 6:29 pm |
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Michael
Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 4:47 am Posts: 2081 Location: At home, working and playing
Gender: Male
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I definitely agree with Blue here. I'm kind of the same problem with it. Characters are hard to express at times so what i basically do is draw them out and let the image/character speak out for itself. I would try to back it up with little-some detail but i can't lay out a full description. To cole, I'm not trying to completely talk about myself but i'm trying to say that i assume you also kind of have this problem. Let the art speak for itself and people will come to understand your characters. Minor details don't really matter unless they're something very crucial/important to the character. As for your sketches: The Man anatomy is nice but the neckline (and the roundish part of it) ruins the neck-shoulders part of the anatomy. I think it's better if you remove the round part of the neck and bring the body/shoulders up a bit as it also shortens the neck a bit too. Asuru looks good enough as is Description-wise: Keep it simple. Don't start shoving complexity just yet. I read that Haiiro got scars from the assault but then you completely cut off his description to the assault as it stays off track of what the character is supposed to be. It should be from:  |  |  |  | Quote: Haiiro is the premature, smaller twin. He is one of three descendants of Helio Gracie, the creator of Gracie Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. He has scars from the assault his family received 14 years ago. One is under his right eye, the others are hidden under clothing. His mother was hospitalized when she tried to pry the knife out of the man's hand. She received cuts to her face, arms, stomach, neck and hands. His dad had been mauled earlier and was beginning to fight back, but instead called for help. Miraculously, his dad and Haiiro survived. The mother had months later, not because of the attack itself, but the cuts became infected and her immune system shut down over the series of months. As soon as Haiiro could stand, he was enrolled in MMA classes. He had never been aware of the assault but was aware of the scars. He found out through his own logic at a comprehendible age that he had no mother. This bulked his motivation beyond any client in years. He is now, 14, an eight time NAGA champion, Having won most of them. He specializes in submissions, bare knuckle brawling, and wrestling. His compassionate and willing attitude have helped him become the person he is today. |  |  |  |  |
To: A good chunk removed that still keeps true to the character. The mother/assault part should be placed into a separate description that explains a past moment of Haiiro or the story of the manga. When you're talking about a character: His description should be fully focused on nothing else but the character. Hope this somewhat helps 
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Tue Aug 20, 2013 10:35 pm |
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cole
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 7:33 pm Posts: 1730 Country:
Gender: Male
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Also, MM, thank you for your support. I haven't seen you in a while!
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Wed Aug 21, 2013 8:13 am |
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Steven
Site Moderator
Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2008 4:13 pm Posts: 7252 Country:
Gender: Male
Waifu: ElvisDitto
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I think what Blue ment is that you should either focus on general storywriting or drawing, rather then looking into the option of using the art to convey the story as moreso then text etc. Writing is increddibly difficult, as Blue stated, as is drawing. If you take Marvel for example, then you have seperate people for drawing, texting, writing and inkting. sure, they probably brainstorm together, but at the end of the day the writer creates the story and the artist draws. Two different jobs by two different people. Improving one's art means that in theory he or she'd be more capable of better conveying/portraying a story, not that the story itself will become better.
Last edited by Steven on Fri Aug 23, 2013 5:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Thu Aug 22, 2013 2:37 pm |
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Blue
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:31 pm Posts: 14078 Location: Fuck.
Gender: Female
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In a lot of cases for mangaka, both the story and art are done by the same person. However, he's just a kid with a pencil set. Let's be real, here. He's never going to create a manga. If he tries, it'll be completely awful in every way. His drawing skills suck and his typing is lackluster, at best. I've told him to focus on one and improve before he decides to do anything that people might appreciate. He now has the choice to either follow my instructions or get tons of awkward messages aimed at his naïveté. Let's just wait and see, shall we?
_________________ "What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today." ~Phil Conners, Channel 9 Pittsburgh Weather Man~
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Fri Aug 23, 2013 4:55 am |
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kb
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:16 am Posts: 23226 Country:
Gender: Female
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he's also not going to make a manga because he's not japanese
he's making a weeaboo comic
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Fri Aug 23, 2013 5:04 am |
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Blue
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:31 pm Posts: 14078 Location: Fuck.
Gender: Female
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Yeah, pretty much. It's going to fail, even if he tries his hardest.
Alright, I'll reword it. His "manga" idea is destined to fail. However, and this is me reiterating for people who may have missed it, if he continues to work on either his art or his writing, he may one day be skilled enough to create stories or comics that people enjoy instead of critique.
_________________ "What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today." ~Phil Conners, Channel 9 Pittsburgh Weather Man~
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Fri Aug 23, 2013 5:15 am |
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cole
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 7:33 pm Posts: 1730 Country:
Gender: Male
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Okay... a couple of things I need to say.
First of all, Kyuubit, having an interest in mediocre anime and creating my own is not weeabooic. Comparing me to some dweeb who dresses up as Naruto in public and lives in 2D Land is a misconception. Look at yourself. Your life consists of video games and anime. You have been no help and have been an a** to me since the day I joined. If anyone's weeabooic, it's you. Now shoo.
Also, Blue, saying my passions are inferior and that they are destined to fail is a slap to the face. Also. Basing my prowess on a couple of drawings and a few forum posts is inapt. I've shown you no real writing so far. How do you think that makes me feel? Yes, I'm just a kid, but I've got LOTS of improvement in store. Have I showed you my best? No. Don't assume what you don't know. That hurts. Have a darn good day.
On-topic; I'll be doing some drawings this week for you to critique. Be constructive. Yay.
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Fri Aug 23, 2013 8:49 pm |
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Pochiman
Site Moderator
Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2013 12:59 pm Posts: 5860 Location: dont bully Country:
Gender: Anime Girl
MGN Username: Pochi
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kawl. I luv your drawings cole  thanks again for my avi, it's a masterpiece
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Fri Aug 23, 2013 8:57 pm |
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kb
Joined: Thu Oct 04, 2012 1:16 am Posts: 23226 Country:
Gender: Female
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You're missing my point completely.
You're not Japanese, therefore you can't make a manga. "Manga" is just the Japanese word for "comic". It's used to refer to comics made by Japanese people. What you're making can be described as "manga-inspired" at best and "weeaboo" at worst.
Until you show identification proving that you are a Japanese person, don't call this a "manga". People only misuse words through ignorance. I've explained the meaning of the word "manga" to you, so stop using it incorrectly.
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Fri Aug 23, 2013 9:04 pm |
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cole
Joined: Sun May 12, 2013 7:33 pm Posts: 1730 Country:
Gender: Male
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Did you listen to anything I just wrote. I know I'm not Japanese. I've said that multiple times. I'm pleading that I'm not Japanese. I never said I was Japanese. I know it's a manga-inspired comic, don't try to prove me wrong about something I already know is wrong. The only one ignorant is you. Geno, Pochi, Michael M, and Clubby have called it a manga, and they're all wrong. Go argue with them, don't point this out to me. Because I know they're wrong. Don't get your panties in a wad, you ignorant fool. You're avoiding an argument you know you will lose. Now shoo.
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Fri Aug 23, 2013 9:20 pm |
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