Granted but right before your wish was granted you were permabanned from all places it is possible to login to.

I wish for the ability to shapeshift.

Granted but you turn into a mini-sun, and burn yourself to death.
I wish had super-speed.

granted but you crashed into a wall the moment you moved.

I wish everyone ignores this post.

not granted because I didn't ignored it.

I wish I was Mew

Granted.
But you are a plushie and NOT a real pokemanz.

I wish i had 1337 powers

granted but 1336 of them have glitches and might destroy the universe. The 1337th one is the ability to talk.

i wish i had swords

Granted. but they all land into your head, one by one...ew...

I wish i was 1337. Dunno why.

1337 isn't what it used to be. You are now shunned from everywhere.

I wish for three wishes, posted unedited as follows, no more no less.

1. I wish that the third wish did not come true.
2. I wish that the first wish did not come true.
3. I wish that the first wish came true.

Granted. But you explode by managing to confuse yourself.

I wish i had a lightsaber

Its a plastic toy.

I wish that if I reached my hand into a pocket, anyone's pocket, that I would pull out the exact amount of money required to pay for anything I wanted to purchase, in the form of a check, credit card, or cash, depending on which weighed least, and would be accepted by the seller.

Granted but suddenly all pokets cease to exist

I wish for a good, unpoisoned, non-deadly pie

That's not a corruption, that's doing two things. You're supposed to make the flaw inherent of the wish's nature. "So you want to live forever? Kay, but you'll still grow old."

Wish granted, *smashes pie on the back of your head*


I wish to be able to control time for this or any other entire universe or any desired subset or subsets thereof, generally but not necessarily excluding my own subjective experience, in the manner of a VCR, with no changes other than those I choose to introduce: pause, rewind, fast forward, including the ability to undo any changes I make to the time continuum, whilest being provided with resources necessary for survival (oxygen, nutrients, etc) in proportions exactly equal to my normal intake, while this power is in effect.

you do but u went to the future but left some sasauge on your plate in the future the mold from that sasauge covers the hole world

Entropy, motherf***er. Mold doesn't work that way, neither does time travel.

You die for not making a wish.

I wish that I could have an unlimited supply of money through a legal means that does not reduce the value of the dollar, and remains valid universally even in the collapse of all current and future governments.