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Speedtrap
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:27 pm Posts: 384 Location: Washington State Country:
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: SSF2
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My first RP character....
Name: Zander Jameson
Age: 21
Appearance: A 6 ft 5 teenager, Zander is very muscular, as he is superhuman... He has tannish-brown skin, piercing blue eyes, Converse All Stars with flames, and has black hair. He also has a strange tattoo on his left hand in the shape of flames, but a calm face which would make anyone smile.
Details: He possesses control of fire, and has superhuman strength. He has no weapons, and his fire is only available when he is angry. Zander is mostly calm, so his fire is only available as sort of a last-ditch effort. Zander has intensely strong legs, and can jump high, as well as run quickly.
Story: Zander is a 21-year old human, but with with abnormal abilities. He was born into a small family that possessed the power of fire. As young as he was, he had to face painful difficulties. At the age of 9, his parents were taken away by a bounty hunter, and his only sister died of polio. Zander, thorough all of his mishaps, has stayed calm, but kept looking for his parents and the evil bounty hunter. Looking for clues in his now run-down home, he found a small book in his parents' room. It had his name on it, so he opened it. It had all of his history, which he knew at the time, but in the back was a small note from some unknown people... It read: "Take this small son of ours, for we must take refuge in another land... Do not anger him, for his ancestors possessed the power of fire..." He put the note in his pocket, tears coming from his eyes... He now knew his true past, and a secret unknown, was now revealed...
Last edited by Speedtrap on Fri Jan 08, 2010 11:49 pm, edited 9 times in total.
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Wed Dec 16, 2009 2:24 pm |
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War P. Anda
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:05 pm Posts: 1503 Location: in your heart all along
Gender: Female
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Good for a start, kinda. You should probably make appearance into one section, and most people refer to "firepower" as guns. You should also add a last name.
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Wed Dec 16, 2009 3:47 pm |
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Speedtrap
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:27 pm Posts: 384 Location: Washington State Country:
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: SSF2
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Fixed!
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Wed Dec 16, 2009 4:00 pm |
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War P. Anda
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:05 pm Posts: 1503 Location: in your heart all along
Gender: Female
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*You still didn't fix the whole appearance issue*
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Wed Dec 16, 2009 4:05 pm |
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Speedtrap
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:27 pm Posts: 384 Location: Washington State Country:
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: SSF2
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?
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Wed Dec 16, 2009 4:10 pm |
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War P. Anda
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:05 pm Posts: 1503 Location: in your heart all along
Gender: Female
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Wed Dec 16, 2009 4:13 pm |
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Speedtrap
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:27 pm Posts: 384 Location: Washington State Country:
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: SSF2
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Ohh... I'll fix it.
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Wed Dec 16, 2009 4:13 pm |
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War P. Anda
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:05 pm Posts: 1503 Location: in your heart all along
Gender: Female
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Good, now put some attention into the appearance. for example, I have no idea how tall he is, what his shoes loook like, or what shape his face is. I also don't know if he's fat or skinny, how muscular he is, or much of an idea of his skin color, simply saying it's brown won't be enough. Also, simply listing things is rather looked down upon.
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Wed Dec 16, 2009 4:34 pm |
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{420}sMoKeWeEd{420}
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:03 pm Posts: 2825 Location: being a genius Gender: little girl Country:
Gender: Anime Girl
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Wow! What a fantastic bio! I'm amazed at the fact that his parents would blatantly write out that he had the power of fire! He's so good-looking too! It takes a lot of effort to make characters with so little flaws such as this.
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Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:35 pm |
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A Cat
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 1:22 pm Posts: 1561 Location: <3 Melty Blud
Gender: Female
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Conversely, I have no comment on this bio.
_________________ spring break go shove it troll
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Thu Dec 17, 2009 5:57 pm |
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Gold
Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2008 3:10 am Posts: 2601 Location: Australia - Sydney
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: Ninja Gaiden III
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I say it's over powered, unless you suck, the opponent wouldn't stand a chance.
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Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:45 pm |
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Doromac
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 2:01 pm Posts: 271 Location: Partyin ALL NIGHT LONG!!!!!
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| | | | Speedtrap wrote: My first RP character....
Name: Zander Jameson
Age: 16 OH s***! CHILD PRODIGY! WATCH THE f*** OUT!
Appearance: A 6 ft 5 teenager, Zander is very muscular, as he is superhuman... He has tannish-brown skin, piercing blue eyes, Converse All Stars with flames, and has black hair. He also has a strange tattoo on his left hand in the shape of flames, but a calm face which would make anyone smile. The f***? 6'5"? He also has a tatoo and he is sixteen?
Details: He possesses control of fire, and has superhuman strength. He has no weapons, and his fire is only available when he is angry. Zander is mostly calm, so his fire is only available as sort of a last-ditch effort. Zander has intensely strong legs, and can jump high, as well as run quickly. He is also a training psychic, but his psychic abilities are only available during his calmness. Wow. He is psychic now?
Story: Zander is a 16-year old human, but with with abnormal abilities. He was born into a small family that possessed the power of fire. As young as he was, he had to face painful difficulties. At the age of 9, his parents were taken away by a bounty hunter, and his only sister died of polio. Zander, thorough thorough, lol all of his mishaps, has stayed calm, but kept looking for his parents and the evil bounty hunter. Looking for clues in his now run-down home, he found a small book in his parents' room. It had his name on it, so he opened it. It had all of his history, which he knew at the time, but in the back was a small note from some unknown people... It read: "Take this small son of ours, for we must take refuge in another land... Do not anger him, for his ancestors possessed the power of fire..." He put the note in his pocket, tears coming from his eyes... He now knew his true past, and a secret unknown, was now revealed...Awwwww. I'm crying over a lame, under explained story. Why was the bounty hunter after his parents. Why is the bounty hunter all of the sudden evil? Why does his family have "fire powers"? What the f*** did his parents feed him to make him so damn large!? | | | | |
The f*** is this, I don't even....
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Fri Dec 18, 2009 6:28 pm |
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War P. Anda
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:05 pm Posts: 1503 Location: in your heart all along
Gender: Female
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I am currently fighting him in a PM battle, I am a simple knight, he is this character, I am winning. Of course, the reason the battle exists is so I can teach him to RP well.
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Fri Dec 18, 2009 6:46 pm |
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{420}sMoKeWeEd{420}
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:03 pm Posts: 2825 Location: being a genius Gender: little girl Country:
Gender: Anime Girl
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Huh? Are you saying a little armor and brains can't handle some fire, minor mental abilities and some good legs?
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Fri Dec 18, 2009 6:53 pm |
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Speedtrap
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:27 pm Posts: 384 Location: Washington State Country:
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: SSF2
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EDIT: I cut the psychic part... Too overpowered.
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Tue Dec 22, 2009 2:07 pm |
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