I don't believe ironically is the adverb you were looking for, son.

It's ironic because he's an idiot.

Oh, I see how it is.

LOL!
That was so stuped, like the time I jumped off the stairs, almost the very top, I squished myself through the vertical bars under the handrail and leaped down and blacked out, I woke up on my bed without a scratch.

I think I was like 4, I most likely dreamed it, considering it happen a 2nd time the same exact way.

Thought I would still share it.

Eh... I went to Europe a few months ago, and one day me and my parents stayed in a hotel in Austria. I went out for a walk. From one minute to the next, it turned from sunny to rainy, and the wind was blowing a bunch of junk everywhere... I tried hurrying back to the hotel, the next thing I know, I'm lying unconscious on the ground because this huge, heavy metal fence was blown away from a construction site and whacked the back of my head, and it was basically crushing me as I laid there. I woke up like, a week later, in the hospital, and a bunch of my bones are broken and my clothes are covered in blood, I'm sore everywhere, etc. etc.

I almost drowned like OVER 9000! times.

I choked many times on hard candy.

I fell down the stairs a couple times.

I got stabbed a few times.

I almost got shot once at a hotel.

You my friend have bad luck to the max.

I got caught in a couple fires.

I got bitten by several dogs.

Cats like to scratch me very often.

Let me just leave it at that.



OBJECTION! ...then again, you might be right.

When i was 7 and when i went swimming i almost drowned

wow

One time, I went to the store, went home, and was about to use it...
But then I decided I wanted my hair brown, not black.
Hohohoho.

Dude he was being serious. Wrong hair color can be suicide-worthy.

I've never almost died.

Because it'd be a waste of my time.

Cuz this is the first time you ever talk to him.

No it isn't.