Hello! Since nobody on the MG team wanted to make the census this year, the task has been delegated to me, Snidbert the Intern. I'm not paid enough for this...

Name: Cooper
Quest: To win one ssf2 tournament.
Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow: This guy figured it out >http://style.org/unladenswallow/
A/S/L: 14/M/New Enlgand
Height: 5'8"
Time been on MG forums: About 5 months
Significant other?: No
Gender Assumption: Probably
Favorite Platformer: Mario Odyssey
Favorite Action/Adventure: Lego Batman: The Videogame
Favorite RPG: Superstar Saga
Favorite Shooter: Splatoon
Favorite Fighting: SSF2
(excluding SSF2)Favorite Fighting: Sm4sh
Favorite Other genre: Mario Kart Wii
Favorite 2017 Game: Mario Odyssey
Favorite Show: I
Favorite Movie: Don't
Favorite OTP: Care
Cosplay?: Shovel Knight
Change the forums?: I'm bad at these questions, idk.
Change SSF2: Make it so balanced that every tier list is wrong.
Main:
Favorite emote:
Most interesting fact: I transpose songs that I like for a while then give up and try again with another song
Least interesting fact: I'm not dead
What's wrong with you?: I get mad at unimportant things too often
Are you real?: I should hope so
Is anything real?: Yes.
What's the point?: A website made to help students who are going into a health related profession.
Are you subsribed to Snidbert on YouTube?: Not yet.
Why not?: I didn't know you had a channel.
Do you realize how much your not subscribing is hurting me?: No, where does it hurt?

What is your name? Snidbert
What is your quest? To glorify God. And also to get super rich.
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? No idea.

A/S/L? 12/male/ur moms bedroom
How tall are you? Taller than whoever's reading this
How long have you been on MG? about a year
Do you have a significant other? (waifus don't count) no
Did I just assume your gender? no you didn't

What is your favorite platformer game? The DS remake of Mario 64
What is your favorite action/adventure game? Zelda: Skyward Sword
What is your favorite RPG? Don't have one; don't play RPGs
What is your favorite shooter game? Duck Hunt
What is your favorite fighting game? SSF2
Okay, aside from SSF2? SSB4
What is your favorite game not in the above genres?Mutiny (A turn-based strategy game made in Flash)
What was your favorite game to come out in 2017? The demo of Mario Odyssey I played in a Target
What is your favorite TV show or anime? Doctor Who
What is your favorite movie? Star Wars, episode VI
What is your OTP? Art x Science
If you were to go to a convention, who would you cosplay as? Dr. McNinja

What would you change about the MG website? Ban cursing
What would you change about SSF2? Revert Tails to 1.0
Who is your main in SSF2?
What is you favorite forum emote?

What is the most interesting fact about you? I'm a national merit scholar, which is kinda cool I guess
What is the least interesting fact about you? I'm white

What's wrong with you? Autism, possibly
Are you real? Probably
Is anything real? I should hope so.
What's the point? To glorify God.

Have you subscribed to Snidbert on YouTube? No
Why not? Because I can't subscribe to myself
Do you realize how much your not subscribing is hurting me? Yes: Not at all.

What is your name? I'm not giving you my real name, and my account name is right there.
What is your quest? To win at least one SSB4 tournament.
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? I don't know and I don't care.

A/S/L? I'm not sure what that means, but from Lermonz's post I'm assuming that it means Age/Sex/Location. 12/Male/U.S.A.
How tall are you? I haven't checked in a while. I think i'm around 4'8", but I could be remembering wrong.
How long have you been on MG? About a year.
Do you have a significant other? (waifus don't count) No.
Did I just assume your gender? I don't get what you mean by this. Probably not.

What is your favorite platformer game? The entire Kirby series. If I had to pick one, it would be Kirby and The Amazing Mirror.
What is your favorite action/adventure game? Honestly, I'm not sure. Probably The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.
What is your favorite RPG? Xenoblade Chronicles 2.
What is your favorite shooter game? Splatoon 2.
What is your favorite fighting game? Super Smash Bros. for Wii U.
Okay, aside from SSF2? Didn't I just say that?
What is your favorite game not in the above genres? Again, I'm not sure. Probably Pikmin 3.
What was your favorite game to come out in 2017? Splatoon 2.

What is your favorite TV show or anime? I don't watch any.
What is your favorite movie? I don't have one.
What is your OTP? uh
If you were to go to a convention, who would you cosplay as? I'm not really sure.

What would you change about the MG website? It seems good enough as is. I don't think I'd change anything.
What would you change about SSF2? I'd add some (very odd) new characters and stages.
Who is your main in SSF2?
What is you favorite forum emote?

What is the most interesting fact about you? I actually make my own webcomic. It's a fan comic called A Generic Kirby Comic, but it's not very good in it's current state. Wait until I've remade more pages before you read it.
What is the least interesting fact about you? It's so uninteresting that I forgot it.

What's wrong with you? I spend too much time on electronics and barely any around people.
Are you real? maybe i think so Yes.
Is anything real? hopefully
What's the point? I'm actually not sure how to answer that.

Have you subscribed to Snidbert on YouTube? No.
Why not? I didn't know you have a channel.
Do you realize how much your not subscribing is hurting me? Now I do. I'm not going to subscribe anyway.

What is your name? Daniel
What is your quest? To decide on a future career to work towards
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2R3FvS4xr4

A/S/L? 17, Male, New Zealand
How tall are you? Around 1.8m
How long have you been on MG? 6-7 years
Do you have a significant other? (waifus don't count) Nah
Did I just assume your gender? Something something attack helicopter

What is your favorite platformer game? Probably the Genesis Sonic games (yes, that includes Sonic Mania)
What is your favorite action/adventure game? Red Dead Redemption. In terms of a franchise, tie between The Legend of Zelda and Metal Gear Solid
What is your favorite RPG? Final Fantasy VI. In terms of a franchise, probably MegaTen
What is your favorite shooter game? Any Halo game that is made by Bungie
What is your favorite fighting game? Super Smash Bros. 4. In terms of your classic 2D style though, I'm not too sure
Okay, aside from SSF2? SSF2
What is your favorite game not in the above genres? Punch-Out!!
What was your favorite game to come out in 2017? s*** this was a great year, but I'd say Persona 5

What is your favorite TV show or anime? Eh, I don't have any clear favorites. Don't really watch much these days
What is your favorite movie? The Shawshank Redemption
What is your OTP? Huh?
If you were to go to a convention, who would you cosplay as? I don't do cosplay, but if I did it would depend on the type of convention I was going to

What would you change about the MG website? Revive Mafia goddammit
What would you change about SSF2? Add Knuckles, Lil Mac, Snake and Waluigi
Who is your main in SSF2?
What is you favorite forum emote?

What is the most interesting fact about you? I do mashups on YouTube from time to time
What is the least interesting fact about you? I'm right handed

What's wrong with you? Nothing, I hope
Are you real? I think so, yes
Is anything real?
What's the point? To enjoy life, bol

Have you subscribed to Snidbert on YouTube? No
Why not? Didn't know you had a channel
Do you realize how much you not subscribing is hurting me? Does it hurt you physically or psychologically?

What is your name? 7Z.
What is your quest? To live life as effortlessly as possible.
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? 11 meters per second.

A/S/L? -
How tall are you? 5'10.
How long have you been on MG? For a while now.
Do you have a significant other? (waifus don't count) As of now, I do not.
Did I just assume your gender? I'm vegan.

What is your favorite platformer game? Cave Story.
What is your favorite action/adventure game? NieR Automata.
What is your favorite RPG? NieR Automata
What is your favorite shooter game? -
What is your favorite fighting game? Dragonball FighterZ.
Okay, aside from SSF2? ...yes
What is your favorite game not in the above genres? -
What was your favorite game to come out in 2017? NieR Automata.

What is your favorite TV show or anime? -
What is your favorite movie? -
What is your OTP? -
If you were to go to a convention, who would you cosplay as? -

What would you change about the MG website? More moderation.
What would you change about SSF2? -
Who is your main in SSF2? -
What is you favorite forum emote?

What is the most interesting fact about you? -
What is the least interesting fact about you? -

What's wrong with you? -
Are you real? -
Is anything real? -
What's the point? -

Have you subscribed to Snidbert on YouTube? No.
Why not? The real question is "why?"
Do you realize how much your not subscribing is hurting me? No.

this census is bad and you should feel bad

Scott should I feel bad for doing it

wow, what an amazing and hilarious thing to say. did you come up with that all by yourself?

yes because you also f*** it up

What's your deal? He's obviously young and dumb and wants to fit in, stop being such a c*** to anyone on this smash bros fangame site under the age of 16

Name: Sonario Jumpmouse.
Quest: To survive in this cruel world.
A swallow's velocity: Approximately 141.136 Kilometer's per hour (A guess).

A/S/L? 18/Dude/Bangladesh
Height: Slightly taller than 6 feet.
Time since joining: About 4 and a half years.
Significant other: NEVAR!
Did I just assume your gender? HOW DARE YOU!!?!

Favorite platformer game: Super Mario World.
Favorite action/adventure game: Cave Story with the 4th ending mod.
Favorite RPG: The original SNES Chrono Trigger.
Favorite shooter: Team Fortress 2.
Favorite fighting game: I answered the next question. Go figure.
Okay, aside from SSF2: Cyberbots: Full Metal Madness.
Favorite game not in the above genres: Mario And Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games (A sport game).
Favorite game to come out in 2017: Super Mario Odyssey.

What is your favorite TV show or anime? Dragon Ball Z (Anime) and Ed, Edd n' Eddy. (TV show)
Favorite movie: The Toy Warrior (I picked an obscure one on purpose)
OTP: Tails x Cream.
Cosplay: Sandbag

Changes to the MG website: None, it's fine.
Changes to SSF2:Nothing yet, but add mod supportafter the full game is perfected.
Main in SSF2: Nobody. I play randomly.
Favorite forum emote:

Most interesting fact about me: I don't dream at all.
Least interesting fact about me: I'm rather tall.
"What's wrong with you, boi?": EVERYTHING.
Am I real: Are YOU real?
Is anything real: Only real things are real.
What the point is: That pointy part of my hair.

Have you subscribed to Snidbert on YouTube? I don't have youtube.
Why not? ^
Do you realize how much your not subscribing is hurting me? Pain is weakness leaving the body.

My answers were great though so yeah

What is your name? Happyfrozenfire
What is your quest? To learn to perfectly balance fun and balance.
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? Depends on what attack hit it, its weight, and its gravity.

A/S/L? 16/Male/Charlotte, NC
How tall are you? 5'10"
How long have you been on MG? Over a year and a half.
Do you have a significant other? (waifus don't count) Yes, actually.
Did I just assume your gender? No, but you assumed our sexualities.

What is your favorite platformer game? Gee, that's a tricky question. If we're talking about vanilla platformers, id have to say New Super Mario Bros, but if we're adding modifiers to it, Kirby: Triple Deluxe is my favorite beat-em-up platformer and Super Mario 64 is my favorite 3d platformer.
What is your favorite action/adventure game? Action/Adventure is such a broad genre that it's basically a label you can slap onto any game, so I'd say that my favorite game that has both real-time action and a coherent story is Kirby: Triple Deluxe.
What is your favorite RPG? Ni No Kuni.
What is your favorite shooter game? My favorite 3rd person shooter is Ratchet and Clank: A Crack in Time, but my favorite 1st person shooter is Screencheat, which is an indie game on PS4 that you should all play.
What is your favorite fighting game? SSF2
Okay, aside from SSF2? Marvel vs Capcom 3, Injustice, or Project M.
What is your favorite game not in the above genres?Doki Doki Literature Club. It made me feel feelings. That's something not many games have succeeded at for me, and for that, I say it deserves all of the praise it got.
What was your favorite game to come out in 2017? Doki Doki Literature Club, for the reason above.

What is your favorite TV show or anime? Master Chef.
What is your favorite movie? Pulp Fiction.
What is your OTP? Me x my girlfriend (come at me)
If you were to go to a convention, who would you cosplay as? Jack Skellington, Swaine from Ni No Kuni, or the Nightmare from the Kirby franchise. Those are all tall, lanky characters I have the build for.

What would you change about the MG website? I'd have a direct link to SSF2 downloads on the home page.
What would you change about SSF2? SO MANY THINGS
Okay okay so for starters, I'd throw the current buffering system completely out the window. f*** that gay s***. I'd then bring back 9b's, since that s*** was fun af.
After that, through the magic of hypothetical circumstances, I'd remove port priority and implement the priority stat. I'd then completely redo priority on characters and projectiles. Disjoints would have lower priority, non-disjoints would have higher priority. Strong attacks would have higher priority, weak ones would have lower priority.
Then, I'd make the default shieldstun 1.2, make the default shield damage 5, and bring back 9b shield knockback. Then, to buff it, I'd make shields frame 1 (like a real smash game) and add back shield DI from 9b. This would make shields function how a real shield should: Something heavy you hold up desperately in a dire situation to help you get the f*** out of there, rather than cheap invincibility with few negative repurcussions.
So, now to f*** grabs. It's pretty simple what I'd do to them, tbh: Give them more startup (each should have 5 frames startup minimum) and more endlag to punish whiffed grabs, make the range reasonable (From the tips of one's fingers to the center of one's body), and make them all have a priority of 0. Now: there are are few reasons as to why I'd do this.
1. Grabs are meant to be an anti-shield tool. If you're at the range where the opponent is shielding, you can grab them. THEY WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE TOOLS IN THE NEUTRAL. GRABBING IN THE NEUTRAL IS DUMB.
2. The very concept of a grab is op. It hits your opponent regardless of whether or not they're shielding, freezes them in place for a suitable amount of time, and allows you to take your time choosing between four angles to send them in, dealing a good amount of damage, which you can add onto at your leisure if you choose to do so. They are literal pacebreakers that transcend shield. They don't need to be disjointed at all in the slightest. They're dumb enough as it is.
Now, I left out one big way I'm which I'd touch grabs. You all are familiar with the throw releases mechanic in traditional fighting games, right? If not, allow me to explain: In traditional 2d fighters, if you press the grab/throw button during the startup of a grab/throw, you will escape it. I'd implement it so that if you were to press grab while being grabbed while not being pummeled or thrown, you would escape the grab. This would cut down on the pacebreaker aspect of grabs and make it so that you have to be smart and swift when choosing a throw while ensuring that there's some risk involved in pummeling.
Finally, we get to character-specific changes. I would do the following:
1. Luigi: I'd give Luigi a normal skid. To a frame-perfect player, this would mean nothing, but it'd make him much more fun to play as. I would also center his playstyle around his shorthop, making sure he has the tools necessary to pop the opponent into shorthop height, then make sure his aerials are sufficient for racking up damage and make sure they string into one another nicely. I'd probably use 1.0.2 Luigi as a base, though that's not entirely necessary.
2. Bowser: I'd take 1.0.0 Bowser, put him in with the rest of the cast, see if he's balanced, and if not, fine-tune him. Seriously, Bowser got hit too hard by nerfs. He's hardly fun anymore, and what's the point of going out of your way to play a videogame with people as good as you if not for fun?
3. Link: I'd lower his damage output. Link deals too much damage.
4. Pikachu: I'd bring back 9b quick attack tech. Pikachu had hella potential in 9b and was #1 on the Japanese tier list, and I feel like bringing that back would help him out a lot. I'd also bring back 9b uair.
5. Jigglypuff: I'd use 1.0.2 jigs as a base and balance her more overpowered rest combos.
6. Kirby: the changelog would read as following:
+Air speed: 5.8 > 6.5
+Air accel: 1.5 > 1.7
+Shorthop: 8.7 > 6.5
Jumpsquat frames: 2 > 3
-Grab range nerf
+2 frames of endlag removed from fsmash
+Usmash sourspot reverted to 9b
+Fair reverted to 9b
+Reduced Bair's landing lag by 2 frames
+Uair reverted to 9b
+Dair reverted to 9b
+Dair hitstun: 4 > 2 (hits interpolerate better)
+ Grounded hammer reverted to 9b
+Added 9b hitboxes to aerial hammer (double the active frames and area of impact)
-Aerial hammer damage: 17 > 15
+Aerial hammer base KB: 60 > 65
-Aerial hammer KB Growth: 78 > 65
+Getup attack damage: 0 > 6
7. Luffy: I'd rework his playstyle to make his grabs a fear factor. I'd make grounded sspec work how it does in the air and be a combo starter, make his moves faster and combo into one another, make it so he can get ~40% off of dthrow and uthrow, and make fthrow a reliable kill option.
Finally, my last change would be to appoint certain important members of the community who are good at balancing (Strife, Skailler, etc) as balancers, because I don't have the knowledge to balance all of these characters and they seriously know their s***.
Who is your main in SSF2? Kirby.
What is you favorite forum emote?

What is the most interesting fact about you? Idk lol
What is the least interesting fact about you? Idk lol

What's wrong with you? Autism, depression, bad work ethic
Are you real? Who cares? I feel real, therefore it doesn't matter whether or not I'm actually real.
Is anything real? One's emotions and sensations are the only thing that one can truly experience, so they're the realest thing to exist, and anything that triggers them can be considered real.
What's the point? There is no inherent "point." You have to forge your own by working to experience the most positive emotions and sensations possible at any given point in time.

Have you subscribed to Snidbert on YouTube? Nope.
Why not? I didn't know it existed.
Do you realize how much your not subscribing is hurting me? Yeah, you said it yourself. It isn't.