That's a million dollar joke right there.

Oh god, that would suck if this really happened.

Oh yeah, no that'd just be awful. Plus awkward.

Yeah, your right.

3 gays are sent to heaven. God ask them what do they want to be reincarnated in.
The first gay says: I want to be a shirt so that men can wear me
Second gay says: I want to be a shoe so that I can feel the feet inside me
Third gay says: Me, I want to be an ambulance so that they can put a people inside my butt and scream ''weee-ooo-weee-ooo''

I win

Two guys are in a pub watching the news, when they see a woman on the TV threatening to jump off the building. As this is going on, one guy turns to the other and says "Hey Paddy, I bet you £10 she jumps." Paddy replies, "Ok Sean, you're on." Paddy takes out £10 and puts it on the table. The woman jumps, and Sean takes the £10. A couple of minutes later, Sean hands back the £10 and says, "I'm sorry Paddy, I can't take this from you. This is a repeat, I watched this earlier." Paddy shakes his head and says, "Keep it Sean, I watched it earlier too." Sean replies, "Well why did you bet against her jumping?" Paddy thinks for a moment then replies, "I didn't think she'd be stupid enough to jump twice!"

Don't crucify me if this is bad kthx

a man walks into a bar

ouch

Bubba dies in a fire and his body is pretty badly burned. The morgue sends for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, to identify the body.

Daryl arrives first, and when the mortician pulls back the sheet, Daryl says, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."

The mortician rolls him over, and Daryl says, "Nope, ain't Bubba."

The mortician thinks this is strange. Then he brings Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer takes a look at the face and says, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."

The mortician rolls him over and Gomer says, "No, it ain't Bubba."

The mortician asks, "How can you tell?"

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two a**holes."

"What? He had two a**holes?!" exclaims the mortician.

"Yup, every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two a**holes.'"

Ok.....


What do you call a Chinese rapist?

Rai Ping Yu

...Slightly clever.

that joke sorta reminds me of the asian restaurant called Phuc Mi Phuc Yue in saints row 2

"No time to cook? Phuc it, eat out!"

I have a friend with that exact name, but he's Vietnamese. Ha....Phuc. If someone wants to say that word on here, this should be the new way to put it.

my joke;
you want to be ghandi

Phuc yu

holy f***
the master trole has returned