The Legend of Korah *CH4 RELEASE*
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Chozo
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 7:19 am Posts: 3590 Location: Boston, MA
Gender: Male
Skype: Chozo
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I still haven't finished reading scars so I can't say for sure but does the sotry go liek this?
I'm a dude with an Ice sword and I ran into another dude with an ice sword. We must go find all the other swordsman. Your too weak I shall train you. Oh snap look its a swordsman.*insert random drama here* Swordsman joins part.(same thing happens until each swordsman is in the party) lets go defeat the king. Get our asses kicked for a few episodes and then king dies?
And then somewhere in between we see some villages getting destroyed and a few appearances of the king and his minions and what not. And maybe a dead important person here and there may even all teh swordsman dead.
If thats how the story goes then it is one hell of a cliche story. If it doesn't I'd say your in good shape for now..
once I read more I'll see if I can predict the ending from miles away.
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Sat Nov 29, 2008 4:26 pm |
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Korah Hyoutetsu [NF]
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 11:55 am Posts: 2249 Location: Orlando, FL
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What exactly do you mean? The only part that is right is the part that's in TLOK already. People joining the party is not really right. The king will appear, that's a given. Everything else is way off, and I'll guarntee you one thing. You will NOT guess the ending. The plot twist is...interesting.
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Sat Nov 29, 2008 7:07 pm |
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Original Unbastard
Joined: Sun Aug 17, 2008 5:39 pm Posts: 1248
Gender: Anime Girl
Skype: Nacritico
Currently Playing: LOL
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Of course... how would he know that the king was planning to use korah to recolect the swords... and in fact, Korah's master was just a decoy of the king himself.... Oh fuc... FORGET I SAID ANYTHING!
_________________SALU2'S ™ _________________ join date: January 08, 2007 Posts on old MG: 2432, level 16 nà chóu
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Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:24 pm |
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King of Squids
Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:17 pm Posts: 682 Location: Liquid space.
Gender: Male
Skype: DeusExAngelo
Currently Playing: Vanquish
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Snow comes back from the dead? OSHI-
_________________Wharg.
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Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:28 pm |
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Korah Hyoutetsu [NF]
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 11:55 am Posts: 2249 Location: Orlando, FL
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Nope. s*** WHO TOLD YOU! Wait, was that a bluff? OH SHI-
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Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:27 pm |
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Ichigo
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:37 am Posts: 1433 Location: .j Country:
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What I mean is the story is so bland. The first episode in my opinion was awful, maybe it was because I was expecting more but so many things added up in the episode that just made it.. Ack.. One of the major things that I noticed was that the dialogue was boring and long.. (Really it only seemed long because the overall writing was not very interesting)
_________________
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Sun Nov 30, 2008 3:58 am |
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Korah Hyoutetsu [NF]
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 11:55 am Posts: 2249 Location: Orlando, FL
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Any ideas on how to fix the dialogue? I'm trying my best to make the dialogue a bit more interesting.
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Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:50 am |
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Original Unbastard
Joined: Sun Aug 17, 2008 5:39 pm Posts: 1248
Gender: Anime Girl
Skype: Nacritico
Currently Playing: LOL
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Well, that's the same problem "Super Mario Bros Z" has... ... I believe that every flash movie in which the dialogs are not part of the movie, but in which they should be skipped with a forward button, they are boring... a good way of solving this is with a voice cast.... but that's a lot of extra work...
_________________SALU2'S ™ _________________ join date: January 08, 2007 Posts on old MG: 2432, level 16 nà chóu
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Sun Nov 30, 2008 1:45 pm |
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Korah Hyoutetsu [NF]
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 11:55 am Posts: 2249 Location: Orlando, FL
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I like SMBZ's dialogue...
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Sun Nov 30, 2008 3:55 pm |
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Ichigo
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:37 am Posts: 1433 Location: .j Country:
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The best way to insure quality dialogue is to have a few people look over the script and reword, remove, and .. well... Revise your work.
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Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:21 pm |
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Snow Taradien
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 7:17 am Posts: 527 Location: Under your bed, and in your Closet Country:
Gender: Anime Girl
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_________________I hunt you down... Say no more... And silently you die...
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Tue Dec 02, 2008 6:34 pm |
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Korah Hyoutetsu [NF]
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 11:55 am Posts: 2249 Location: Orlando, FL
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Tue Dec 02, 2008 8:27 pm |
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Snow Taradien
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 7:17 am Posts: 527 Location: Under your bed, and in your Closet Country:
Gender: Anime Girl
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OK I WILL... ...
_________________I hunt you down... Say no more... And silently you die...
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Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:09 pm |
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Karrik
Joined: Mon Sep 29, 2008 9:09 am Posts: 697 Location: Southeast Region: Eutopia
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I may become a big fan of this, and draw fanart and stuff, this is really good
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Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:18 pm |
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Korah Hyoutetsu [NF]
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 11:55 am Posts: 2249 Location: Orlando, FL
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Sweet. You should join my forums. It's much more organized there. http://blizzardblade.forummotion.com/
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Wed Dec 17, 2008 6:38 pm |
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