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The Legend of Korah *CH4 RELEASE* 
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Chozo
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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
I still haven't finished reading scars so I can't say for sure but does the sotry go liek this?

I'm a dude with an Ice sword and I ran into another dude with an ice sword. We must go find all the other swordsman. Your too weak I shall train you. Oh snap look its a swordsman.*insert random drama here* Swordsman joins part.(same thing happens until each swordsman is in the party) lets go defeat the king. Get our asses kicked for a few episodes and then king dies?

And then somewhere in between we see some villages getting destroyed and a few appearances of the king and his minions and what not. And maybe a dead important person here and there may even all teh swordsman dead.

If thats how the story goes then it is one hell of a cliche story.
If it doesn't I'd say your in good shape for now..

once I read more I'll see if I can predict the ending from miles away.
Sat Nov 29, 2008 4:26 pm
Korah Hyoutetsu [NF]
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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
Ichigo wrote:
NF, I've said it once and I'll say it again. You need to work harder at making the plot to your series less one sided...
What exactly do you mean?
Kfire wrote:
I still haven't finished reading scars so I can't say for sure but does the sotry go liek this?

I'm a dude with an Ice sword and I ran into another dude with an ice sword. We must go find all the other swordsman. Your too weak I shall train you. Oh snap look its a swordsman.*insert random drama here* Swordsman joins part.(same thing happens until each swordsman is in the party) lets go defeat the king. Get our asses kicked for a few episodes and then king dies?

And then somewhere in between we see some villages getting destroyed and a few appearances of the king and his minions and what not. And maybe a dead important person here and there may even all teh swordsman dead.

If thats how the story goes then it is one hell of a cliche story.
If it doesn't I'd say your in good shape for now..

once I read more I'll see if I can predict the ending from miles away.
The only part that is right is the part that's in TLOK already. People joining the party is not really right. The king will appear, that's a given. Everything else is way off, and I'll guarntee you one thing. You will NOT guess the ending. The plot twist is...interesting.

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Sat Nov 29, 2008 7:07 pm
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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
Dixie [NF] wrote:
The only part that is right is the part that's in TLOK already. People joining the party is not really right. The king will appear, that's a given. Everything else is way off, and I'll guarntee you one thing. You will NOT guess the ending. The plot twist is...interesting.


Of course... how would he know that the king was planning to use korah to recolect the swords... and in fact, Korah's master was just a decoy of the king himself....

Oh fuc... FORGET I SAID ANYTHING!

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Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:24 pm
King of Squids
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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
Shinigami[Nac] wrote:
Dixie [NF] wrote:
The only part that is right is the part that's in TLOK already. People joining the party is not really right. The king will appear, that's a given. Everything else is way off, and I'll guarntee you one thing. You will NOT guess the ending. The plot twist is...interesting.


Of course... how would he know that the king was planning to use korah to recolect the swords... and in fact, Korah's master was just a decoy of the king himself....

Oh fuc... FORGET I SAID ANYTHING!

Snow comes back from the dead?
OSHI-

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Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:28 pm
Korah Hyoutetsu [NF]
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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
Shinigami[Nac] wrote:
Dixie [NF] wrote:
The only part that is right is the part that's in TLOK already. People joining the party is not really right. The king will appear, that's a given. Everything else is way off, and I'll guarntee you one thing. You will NOT guess the ending. The plot twist is...interesting.


Of course... how would he know that the king was planning to use korah to recolect the swords... and in fact, Korah's master was just a decoy of the king himself....

Oh fuc... FORGET I SAID ANYTHING!
Nope.
DiStOrTiO wrote:
Shinigami[Nac] wrote:
Dixie [NF] wrote:
The only part that is right is the part that's in TLOK already. People joining the party is not really right. The king will appear, that's a given. Everything else is way off, and I'll guarntee you one thing. You will NOT guess the ending. The plot twist is...interesting.


Of course... how would he know that the king was planning to use korah to recolect the swords... and in fact, Korah's master was just a decoy of the king himself....

Oh fuc... FORGET I SAID ANYTHING!

Snow comes back from the dead?
OSHI-
s*** WHO TOLD YOU!

Wait, was that a bluff? OH SHI-

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Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:27 pm
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Ichigo
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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
What I mean is the story is so bland. The first episode in my opinion was awful, maybe it was because I was expecting more but so many things added up in the episode that just made it.. Ack.. One of the major things that I noticed was that the dialogue was boring and long.. (Really it only seemed long because the overall writing was not very interesting)

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Sun Nov 30, 2008 3:58 am
Korah Hyoutetsu [NF]
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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
Ichigo wrote:
What I mean is the story is so bland. The first episode in my opinion was awful, maybe it was because I was expecting more but so many things added up in the episode that just made it.. Ack.. One of the major things that I noticed was that the dialogue was boring and long.. (Really it only seemed long because the overall writing was not very interesting)
Any ideas on how to fix the dialogue? I'm trying my best to make the dialogue a bit more interesting.

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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
Ichigo wrote:
What I mean is the story is so bland. The first episode in my opinion was awful, maybe it was because I was expecting more but so many things added up in the episode that just made it.. Ack.. One of the major things that I noticed was that the dialogue was boring and long.. (Really it only seemed long because the overall writing was not very interesting)


Well, that's the same problem "Super Mario Bros Z" has...

...

I believe that every flash movie in which the dialogs are not part of the movie, but in which they should be skipped with a forward button, they are boring...

a good way of solving this is with a voice cast.... but that's a lot of extra work...

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Sun Nov 30, 2008 1:45 pm
Korah Hyoutetsu [NF]
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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
Shinigami[Nac] wrote:
Ichigo wrote:
What I mean is the story is so bland. The first episode in my opinion was awful, maybe it was because I was expecting more but so many things added up in the episode that just made it.. Ack.. One of the major things that I noticed was that the dialogue was boring and long.. (Really it only seemed long because the overall writing was not very interesting)


Well, that's the same problem "Super Mario Bros Z" has...

...

I believe that every flash movie in which the dialogs are not part of the movie, but in which they should be skipped with a forward button, they are boring...

a good way of solving this is with a voice cast.... but that's a lot of extra work...
I like SMBZ's dialogue...

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Ichigo
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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
The best way to insure quality dialogue is to have a few people look over the script and reword, remove, and .. well... Revise your work.

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Sun Nov 30, 2008 11:21 pm
Snow Taradien
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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
Dixie [NF] wrote:
DiStOrTiO wrote:
Shinigami[Nac] wrote:
Dixie [NF] wrote:
The only part that is right is the part that's in TLOK already. People joining the party is not really right. The king will appear, that's a given. Everything else is way off, and I'll guarntee you one thing. You will NOT guess the ending. The plot twist is...interesting.


Of course... how would he know that the king was planning to use korah to recolect the swords... and in fact, Korah's master was just a decoy of the king himself....

Oh fuc... FORGET I SAID ANYTHING!

Snow comes back from the dead?
OSHI-
s#%$& WHO TOLD YOU!

Wait, was that a bluff? OH SHI-

:eew:

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Tue Dec 02, 2008 6:34 pm
Korah Hyoutetsu [NF]
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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
Snow Taradien wrote:
Dixie [NF] wrote:
DiStOrTiO wrote:
Shinigami[Nac] wrote:
Dixie [NF] wrote:
The only part that is right is the part that's in TLOK already. People joining the party is not really right. The king will appear, that's a given. Everything else is way off, and I'll guarntee you one thing. You will NOT guess the ending. The plot twist is...interesting.


Of course... how would he know that the king was planning to use korah to recolect the swords... and in fact, Korah's master was just a decoy of the king himself....

Oh fuc... FORGET I SAID ANYTHING!

Snow comes back from the dead?
OSHI-
s#%$& WHO TOLD YOU!

Wait, was that a bluff? OH SHI-

:eew:
SHH

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Snow Taradien
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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
Dixie [NF] wrote:
Snow Taradien wrote:
Dixie [NF] wrote:
DiStOrTiO wrote:
Shinigami[Nac] wrote:
Dixie [NF] wrote:
The only part that is right is the part that's in TLOK already. People joining the party is not really right. The king will appear, that's a given. Everything else is way off, and I'll guarntee you one thing. You will NOT guess the ending. The plot twist is...interesting.


Of course... how would he know that the king was planning to use korah to recolect the swords... and in fact, Korah's master was just a decoy of the king himself....

Oh fuc... FORGET I SAID ANYTHING!

Snow comes back from the dead?
OSHI-
s#%$& WHO TOLD YOU!

Wait, was that a bluff? OH SHI-

:eew:
SHH

OK I WILL...


...


:wee:

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Wed Dec 03, 2008 6:09 pm
Karrik
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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
I may become a big fan of this, and draw fanart and stuff, this is really good :wee:

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Korah Hyoutetsu [NF]
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Post Re: The Legend of Korah *Forums?*
KAZECoyote wrote:
I may become a big fan of this, and draw fanart and stuff, this is really good :wee:
Sweet. You should join my forums. It's much more organized there.

http://blizzardblade.forummotion.com/

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