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Blue
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:31 pm Posts: 14078 Location: Fuck.
Gender: Female
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I'm just saying, no anime or TV show references. Nothing like that. It stifles creativity.
_________________"What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today." ~Phil Conners, Channel 9 Pittsburgh Weather Man~
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Wed Oct 15, 2008 12:45 am |
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Green Mage
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:53 pm Posts: 2110 Country:
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Oh okay then. So genres are still okay?
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Wed Oct 15, 2008 1:41 am |
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Blue
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:31 pm Posts: 14078 Location: Fuck.
Gender: Female
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Genres as in... "horror and comedy" or "RPG and RTS"? This is going to be a romantic comedy RP??
_________________"What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today." ~Phil Conners, Channel 9 Pittsburgh Weather Man~
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Wed Oct 15, 2008 3:26 am |
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SS
Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2008 8:38 am Posts: 6670 Location: Darkest Antartica Country:
Gender: Male
Skype: Thaiberium
Currently Playing: The Game
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Of all my skills as a writer, I am afraid I can't write that... Okay, let me go by a checklist then: -Swords -Sorcery -Steampunk -Desert That isn't too hard, I can already see it coming together. As for references, I never sully my hands with them. Now as for inspiration I usually take it from the real world anyway. I should have a draft by Thursday, and we'll finalise on Friday?
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Wed Oct 15, 2008 9:44 am |
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Blue
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:31 pm Posts: 14078 Location: Fuck.
Gender: Female
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Wow, I just looked at what Steampunk is. I'm in love!!! It's so awesome!! YES!! Do that!!
_________________"What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today." ~Phil Conners, Channel 9 Pittsburgh Weather Man~
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Wed Oct 15, 2008 5:02 pm |
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Nini
Legendary Ghost
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:23 pm Posts: 1797 Location: Where angels fear to tread, and man is but a cautionary tale.
Gender: Anime Girl
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Upon reading the wikipedia page on steampunk, ive come to realize niniva's universe is steampunk >.> interesting..
Anyway, ill join whenever its up n.n
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Wed Oct 15, 2008 5:31 pm |
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SS
Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2008 8:38 am Posts: 6670 Location: Darkest Antartica Country:
Gender: Male
Skype: Thaiberium
Currently Playing: The Game
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| | | | First Draft of the Intro wrote: On a most auspicious date, on a most inhospitable planet, there would be those that celebrated the completion of the harvest. It was most bountiful, at least as much as one could say for a planet covered in desert. Even in the more hospitable steppes, there were only two seas, one of water and another of sand. The coastal city of Legate would celebrate as well, being one of the more prosperous, inviting not only neighbors, but also the Crown Prince with his retinue of Royal Voulgiers under his command. Arriving from the Northern steppes on a small sand vessel, it would mark the beginning of festivities in earnest.
In the square, all walks of life would together enjoy the festivities. Various guilds, of various denominations and specialties, would hold their own events open to the public, be it competitions from one that specialised in martial prowess, to demonstrations and spectacles from the parts of magi and chemists alike.
It was amidst this laxity during the festivities, a guardsmen, almost asleep leaning on his arquebus, would notice a massive sand ship in the distance. It was of unparallelled size, the bloated red underside flanked by wooden paddles as it crawled towards Legate like a centipede. At first, the guard would attribute this to his drowsiness, but even after several blinks, he would turn to raise the alarm, if he were not cut down by an invisible entity. A temporal sensation delay spell, cast by a skilled mage no doubt, meant that the ship had already arrived. Discharging from the decks were the warriors of the Jagatai Khanate, their weapons drawn, sweeping through the mostly empty streets, surrounding the square. It would take moments, moments that would cost many lives, before the merrymakers realised that something was wrong. The grinding gears of the keep's gates and the hissing of steam alerting the wary. A slaughter was to ensue, as this was an act of war. It was admist this thunder of blackpowder, the cackling of the arcane and ringing of steel, did the first battle for Legate begin. | | | | |
This is the first draft, I'm still in the middle of planning and establishing stuff, magic and technology mostly, because this intro only skimmed it. That the roles guilds play in this unnamed kingdom. Ugh. This is a lot to do. Suggest anything you'd like and point of stuff you don't.
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Thu Oct 16, 2008 8:49 am |
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Blue
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:31 pm Posts: 14078 Location: Fuck.
Gender: Female
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Perfect. Sheer genius. I wouldn't mind reading this myself... It's completely immersive and is told in the perfect way. I really enjoyed reading that excerpt. Perhaps, if this is a success, we should write a short story? I'm a little too eager to read further.
_________________"What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today." ~Phil Conners, Channel 9 Pittsburgh Weather Man~
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Fri Oct 17, 2008 12:36 am |
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Green Mage
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:53 pm Posts: 2110 Country:
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Completely awesome is what I can only say.
So will magic and technology mix? I mean, considering the former would use "natural law" (use flint and wood to make fire), and the latter would warp it (Create ice on a sunny day for example).
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Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:05 am |
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Blue
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:31 pm Posts: 14078 Location: Fuck.
Gender: Female
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It really is a good setting and plot. I would hate to let n00bs have at it..
_________________"What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today." ~Phil Conners, Channel 9 Pittsburgh Weather Man~
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Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:12 am |
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Green Mage
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:53 pm Posts: 2110 Country:
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Yes, slightly less used genres too. (Well, I barely see any steampunk, and a desert setting also).
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Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:15 am |
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Blue
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:31 pm Posts: 14078 Location: Fuck.
Gender: Female
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Exactly, it's a great theme. I'm almost tempted to tell him to write the story himself and let me read it. He's a pro at this.
_________________"What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today." ~Phil Conners, Channel 9 Pittsburgh Weather Man~
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Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:19 am |
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SS
Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2008 8:38 am Posts: 6670 Location: Darkest Antartica Country:
Gender: Male
Skype: Thaiberium
Currently Playing: The Game
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I am humbled by such a compliment. For the latest draft that's done, I've taken it to a more personal level, with two characters that can kickstart the RP. I've also a few ideas as to how to prolong the narrative but that is for the GM's eyes only. | | | | Latest Draft wrote: The knight and his protege stepped into the square. His thick leather boots drowned out by numerous others. Being only in light mail with surcoat, he would glance about, eyes out for any would be assailants. Damocles the Giant, standing a good two metres tall, which was still tall even for his kingdom, looked down to his little charge. She was Princess Chataigne de Gavaroche, a mere 14 year old, standing just above his waist line. She had clasped onto his gauntlet in a vice-like grip uncharacteristic for girl her age. He smiled a little, relieved that she was still innocent enough but his heart sank, knowing that she would grow up to be another noblewoman, in a noble court. Not only that, but his liege, the King had arranged for her to marry with the Crown Prince of their ancestral enemies, the Kingdom of Lexmada. In effect, he was selling his own daughter and ultimately his own kingdom to ensure his people did not suffer any longer. Damocles understood the decision, although he viewed the Jagatai Khanate as a more suitable ally. Of the three countries, Gavaroche was slowly dying, swept up in the crossfire between the borders of the other the great kingdom and khanate. He hoped at the very least their Crown Prince was reasonable, or Damocles knew that he would make the Prince cry tears of blood. But now the princess tugged at his hand, willing to be released from his grasp to enjoy the marvels of the festival. She was anxious, Damocles thought, after that boring passage aboard sand ship, having eagerly awaited their arrival.
Sandships, and their fuel, coal, were the only real reason the Kingdom of Lexmada and the Jagatai Khanate were at war. The planet being mostly desert, the occasional steppes and mountain range breaking up what was essentially a sea of dunes, it was plain dumbluck that Gavaroche would have the biggest supply of coal underneath their lands, with more sites being discovered monthly. The Jagatai Khanate also possessed coal but they were originally nomads, only realising the value of a permanent settlement not long ago. However, this also meant they possessed a great military, their sandships ranging from small, swift single seaters, replacing horses and camels, to gigantic battleships big enough to cast a shadow over a modest village. That however, did not mean they were uncontested. Far from it, the Kingdom of Lexmada contained the greatest amount of saltpeter, an essential component in firearms. What the Lexmadans lacked in mobility, they made up with sheer firepower. Legend has it that a trio of travelling arquebusiers would appear in dire battles, rallying and leading town militia to victory against various Jagatai forces across the kingdom. It was a different story in Gavaroche, who with their giant stores of coal, began a revolution that would transform them. Using coal as a new power source, the possibilities opened up, such as mass production and flight. Flight, Damocle mused, was possible because someone was bright enough to light a bonfire under a bag. Still he was of the oldguard, retaining his trusted axe, even when he was presented with a sword and shield after the military reform.
It was at that moment that he noticed Princess Chataigne in front of him, watching a spectacle of the local magi and chemists. His shock was relieved and he wondered what kind of mage she would become. He couldn't see her become a Radical as much as he held a grudging respect for them. Pragmatic and with a clear disregard for the consequences their actions would have around them, they were often the ones who heeded the call to arms, or served as wandering vigilantes, bringing down the hammer of their indiscriminate justice on those that would do wrong. On the other hand, he didn't favour the Puritans as much despite Princess Chataigne's similar disposition, their weak-willed ways and their idealistic outlook on the world giving them not much practical use in harsh reality. But well, he was not an Inquisitor, nor did he have a proper grounding in the works of the Inquisition to be able to judge. A good thing too, Inquisitors were those that policed the magi, being magi themselves, and despite their ominous name, they were neutral on practically all affairs of state, being an independent organisation, answering to no one but themselves, function as a universal Mage's Guild. Then it struck him, not a moment ago, he was still holding hands with the Princess, but for her to move without him noticing was next to impossible. He scanned various faces, some of them confused, a juggler having dropped the items he had juggled, a chemist having added an excess amount of reagents to name but two. Damocles also noticed that they were standing to the south, which was behind him. Turning around as quickly as possible, there were figures that were moving along the city walls. Too many to be city guard and catching a glimpse of a flag that flew behind the wall, he knew it could only be the Jagatai Khanate.
For them to employ a powerful mage to cast temporal sensory delay spell and close in on the port city of Legate, he knew not why, but if it had something to do with Princess Chataigne, he'd be damned to not do a thing about it. Quickly formulating a plan, he shoved his little way into the crowd towards his charge. Then there were the first screams, wickedly curved blades cutting down townsfolk and it was then the crowd erupted into panic. He had closed to within a mere metre from the Princess before a figure was about to strike her down.
"Milady, behind you!" he shouted with all his might.
She calmly turned around before an explosion of blood erupted between them. Damocles almost tripped in horror, managing to catch the bloodstained princess in his arms as she fell backwards.
"Jeez Damocles, you worry to much, I can handle myself you know," she chided him childishly.
"Milady please refrain from causing me and by extension, you father, any undue stress," he answer.
She had taken down her attacker with a hidden flintlock pistol. Where she had acquired it from, Damocles didn't care, all that was important was to bring her to safety while she was still unharmed.
"Shall we pay a visit to your fiance Milady?" he asked her.
"I know its against tradition, but it doesn't seem like we have much of a choice," she paused, whipping out her wand and melting the face of their next assailant before continuing, "given the circumstances."
She was definitely leaning towards Radical, Damocles thought inwardly and readied his sword and shield as the two made for the city keep. | | | | |
I'm thinking we could combine background and storytelling at the same time and yes it does feel sort of a shame to let the general RP public have access to it. I am going to finalise on Saturday, because I have stuff to do on Sunday, of which I feel bluemage would be able to get this started and running by the time I'm back from whatever I need to do.
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Fri Oct 17, 2008 5:24 am |
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Blue
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:31 pm Posts: 14078 Location: Fuck.
Gender: Female
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Of course I can handle things. However, I am in the midst of my final exams and should probably lean toward those for now. How about we postpone until Monday? That way, we'll both be able to get our more important matters dealt with.
BTW, I'm completely enthralled in the story! This is an amazing work of art, really it is. You should become a novelist.
_________________"What if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today." ~Phil Conners, Channel 9 Pittsburgh Weather Man~
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Fri Oct 17, 2008 5:49 am |
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SS
Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2008 8:38 am Posts: 6670 Location: Darkest Antartica Country:
Gender: Male
Skype: Thaiberium
Currently Playing: The Game
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Exams do take priority, I wish you luck. However, I have family matters to attend to on Sunday, something I'd rather not talk about, and I'm not sure I will make it back in time on Monday or for good couple of days for that matter. I don't think there will be any more radical changes to the story having mostly minor grammatical errors and typos that need fixing. Feel free to use it when you're ready. I'll join you when I get back. Given the proper motivation and inspiration, I'm capable of good writing. Its a very rare occasion though. But I must admit that I'll be posting this in my Written Works Repository. EDIT: Final draft is up. You may read it here.
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Fri Oct 17, 2008 10:07 am |
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