hi

Goddammit he's already making a satanic s***

24

The Bloody Cane
A Short Story
by Abaddon


Darlene Velletani had always hated lifeless Fencryon Hills with its aggressive, anxious ash trees. It was a place where she felt tired.

She was a strong, dependable, tea drinker with enormous arm and strong head. Her friends saw her as a wide-eyed, wonky warrior. Once, she had even helped a beautiful infant recover from a flying accident. That's the sort of woman he was.

Darlene walked over to the window and reflected on her unending surroundings. The snow flurried like rampaging lion.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Gareth . Gareth was a dodgy demon with odd shaped arm and bulky head.

Darlene gulped. She was not prepared for Gareth.

As Darlene stepped outside and Gareth came closer, she could see the strange smile on his face.

"I am here because I want their mana," Gareth bellowed, in a lucid tone. He slammed his fist against Darlene's chest, with the force of 7557 vulcher. "I frigging hate you, Darlene Velletani."

Darlene looked back, even more remorseful and still fingering the bloody cane. "Gareth, why does it always come to this," she replied.

They looked at each other with anxious feelings, like two crowded, crazy chimera attacking at a very unremarkable The Red Moon of Alessyon, which had free form yiddish jazz-core music playing in the background and two steamed pie uncles hugging to the beat.

Darlene studied Gareth's odd shaped arm and bulky head. Eventually, she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you their mana," she explained, in pitying tones.

Gareth looked willful, his body raw like a bored, brief bilhook.

Darlene could actually hear Gareth's body shatter into 2893 pieces. Then the dodgy demon hurried away into the distance.

Not even a cup of tea would calm Darlene's nerves tonight.
THE END

"Saying the snow flurried like rampaging lion is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant." -The New York Times

"I feel like I know Darlene Velletani. In a way, it feels as though I've always known her." -NPR. The Mini Library Suite


"I enjoyed every single second of the read, and I know I'll read it again, probably maybe one more time afterwards."

25

26

27

28

Legend Of Zelda : Fight for the Future
by Abaddon
A/N:
Hi Ladys and Gentleman,
I am writing this fic for one reason and one reason only; angrykiller90210 said I couldn't do it!
They said I couldn't stick with anything. Well, this will be proof positive and it will be awesome! I'll do this in 3 parts, below is just the intro which doesn't count towards those 3. Like the Hobbit movie.
(btw, I'll finish of the last parts of my other Legend Of Zelda story later, btw.)

Seeya, From,
-Abaddon
It was a cold day in Kakariko Village.

Midna was in the shower.
She rubed her firm, perfectly shaped Scones as the water cascaded over her sexy shiny body.The bubbles from the soap breifly obscured the pinicals of them before she rinced it off...the clear water making her pretty skin shiny in the sunlight coming from the open window She stretched upwards, making her C-cup Smith and Wesson look even bigger. She had long wanted even bigger breasts as she was jealous of Zelda.
Meanwhile Zelda was walking by Midna house, in Kakariko Village
She saw steam coming from the window, and went over the look...after all, the house could have been on fire!
She looked unto the window. She gazed unto the crystal glass and beholded a wonder of nature
Suddenly, Link walked in.
As Link was undressed by the girls, he examined them carefully
"You know, i never noticed how firm and big your breasts are!"
"Why dont you feel them"
"Can I feel more?"
"Only if you let us feel you a bit!", she reached down and grabbed
"you can pleasure us, while we watched and feel eachover...we need a big strong man like you to forfill us" Zelda started thrusting Link's soldier back and forward really hard. Before feeding it into her.
She quickly got very wet indeed. Her lovebox was as wet as a deep ocean river bed. Link' thrusted his 9inch c*** into both of them one at a time, as the girls rubbed eachothers kalamazoos softly.
This went on for 4 hours, before the girls got tired.
"thank you"
"Dont mention it"

Zelda turned the h0t shower off, and they all walked into the living room.
Link' put his cloaths on, but Zelda and Midna stayed naked.
"What did you come here for anyway?"
"Oh, yes, i came here to tell you Ganon has returned, and i need your help to defeat him"
"ok, we will get our cloaths on and follow you on your erotic quest!"
"No time for that!, you will have to stay naked."
"oh, thats ok, gives us more time to admire our hot female bodys"
"yes, I love running around naked, my breasts bounce around in circular paturns"
"Wed do anything for you hunky baby."
"ok lets go!!!!"
"ok"
"ok!"
"ok!"
And they left to beging the start of the first chapter in their epic quest.

But before everyone got themselves ready to go after Ganon, there was one thing Link wanted to take care of.
He had to introduce Zelda to his parents.
Link had been thinking for it for a longitme. His parents were the worst. Uppity, pathetic and homophybic
But Link had told them that he finally got engaged and that he would introduce Zelda to the family before they would make it official (A/N there is geymarriadge in Hyrule. If you want to know how htat happened, read my other stories!)

"Uuuuurgh," Link said while fishing
"I can handle it," Zelda said while sitting naked next to The Hero of Time while stroking his baloney pony.
"You don't know my parents!" Link said.
"I know, but if they created you, then they can't be that bad," Zelda spoke wisely.
"I noooooo but it's still...uuuuuurgh."
"We'll just go there and I'll impress them," Zelda said manly and then boned Link hard in the arse. His finess and strong muscles impressed Link a lot. He doubted that he could show that to his parents.
Then The Hero of Time snugged deeper into Zelda's arms.He felt safe there. Link knew that whatever would happen, Zelda would protect him.

The day of the dinner had come. The Hero of Time and Zelda took a segway to his parents.
They came into a dining room and the table had already laid.
"Ah, you've finally arrived," Link's mom said and she looked at Zelda, "You're late."
"It wasn't her fault," Zelda said always as protective of Link as he was. "It was the weather."
"Sure... sure..." Mom said and she went back to the kitchen.
"Wow," Link said, "she didn't even shake your hands."
"Oh well," Zelda said manly. Oh gosh, that nonchallant way. Exactly the reason why Link had falled in love with the man.
Link was busy swooning over his fiancé when his dad came in.
"Boy," dad said and the stared at Zelda.
Zelda shook his hand politely.
"Ah, you're here too," dad said to The Hero of Time, "Help your mother out, it's time that the men have a conversation."
"uuuuuurgh," Link said and went into the kitchen. He hated how his dad considered him less than a man. Only because he was the 'girl' in the relationship didn't mean he wasn't manly at all!
Then The Hero of Time's mother made him do all sorts of annoying useless jobs. After all, as mom said, people like them were inherently used to these sorts of things.
Then dinner came. The Hero of Time was told to take the food in while mom and dad already sat down. Link wasn't even allowed to see where Zelda went off to.
Just before he carried in the first plate of food, he felt something weird. Like a crosswire went down heback, tingling all along the way down. Something was off, but Link was still too annoyed with his parents!

Then The Hero of Time carried in the meal. But no one was there. Instead, at the end of the table, Ganon sat!

Ganon laughed at him, "My my, that apron looks lovely on you!" (a/n - Link was wearing *just* an apron)
Link threw down the meal and flexed his muscles. Oh, he had been waiting for this moment. Not only was Ganon going to feel the fullest extend of Link's rightious fury, Link could also unleash his frustration with his parents!

He threw the dish at Ganon like a disco. But as it hit his archnemesis, it turned out it was a hologram!
"If you want to see your parents again," Ganon said, "come to my Hut"
Link felt conflicted. On one hand, Link hated his parents, on the other, he still needed them for the wedding!
Zelda came in and said: "We should save your parents."
"But uuuuuuurgh," The Hero of Time said.
"No we should. I talked to your dad, and he really does love you."
"Alright. Fine."
We are almost there I..I can sense it"
He walked around, stopping
So they proceeded. This went on for sometime.
They walked about for a bit, stopping outside a tall tower.
"Ganon....He is here", said Link
As they entered there was lots of Loyal followerss.
So they swung back their trenchcoats and murdercided them all with their concealed flintlock revolvers of awesome(but no one died!).
.
"Lets take the ventalation shaft!"
"Thats a good plan, so we can sneak to the roof undetected"
So they got into the ventilation shaft.
Zelda needed to remove some cloths in order to fit.So did Midna, who stripped to her flower paturned bra. Tingle joined in by removing his pants (even though he didnt need to because he was skinny and would fit in fine anyway without the need to remove his pants).
The Hero of Time just took all the clothes off, it was easier.His manhold swung beneath him as he crawled into the passpage.
They traveled upto the roof, ver the ducks, thus avoiding the security systems because they are smart.
We are here, said Link crawling out the duck, and putting his shirt on.
"So you have come" said a voice booming from the sky
A blimp appeared above them.
Ganon laughed at them from it.
"Ha Ha Ha Ha"
"I could gun you all down from here with my rifles, but I would rather do this...personal style."
he leaped down and landed at the far side of the rooftop
"Ready?" he said, still laughing.

Link removed his shirt and flexed his abs.
"Yes. I am ready. "
With that they leaped at eachother, metaphorical guns blazzing (which were littoral lazer guns).
"I kill you dead"
Ganon head butted Link in the chest

The Hero of Time fell backwards in pain punching a few times before crashing to the ground.
"Ha Ha Ha Ha" laughed Ganon
"You could never have defeated me, so why did you even try?"
"I had too, for all that is good and just in the world."
"Well now you will die. Goodbye."
Ganon leaned over Link holding his p****.

"Quick Link use this!" said Andromielle ,chucking a nearby knickers towards Link.
Link grabbed it and chucked it towards Ganon hard, knocking him backwards....off the edge of the tall warehouse they were on!
"Goodbye, Ganon have a nice fall!"
"ARrrrrgggg"


"We are safe now, he fell to certain doom."
Tingle and Chad got out from the cornor where they were cuddleing. "Thank you, you saved us all"
"Dont mention it."

So they left the tower and went home. They lived happily ever after and had lots of kids.
The End

29

30

31

Do you know what day it is tomorrow?

April 30th — is there something special about it ?

oh no now I'll think of MG every time I play mgs2

32