You get spontaneously combustion.
I insert the smoking cinders of the vending machine, cross-bred with those of Robert Russell.

...you buy the umpteenth Vending Machine (how many have we broken now??? )

I insert YO FACE!!!.

You get pure awesomeness (concentrated).
I insert money.

i get your money and run away with nothing happening its my berthday after all.

i incert from wal-mart.

You get low prices and lose your soul.

you get nothing do to you not incerting any thing.

i incert Sam and Dean Winchester to get my soul back

You get killed by supernatural creatures.

I insert amnesia.

i can't remember what get.
i can't remember what i incert

You get nothing as you also forgot to insert something.

I insert stupidity.

you get a copy of

i incert a PS3

You get blown up (again)
I buy a new vending machine.

the new Vending Machine has bad wiring and this hapens when i try to use it

I remove you from the vicinity and the vending machine loses radioactivity.
I insert Robert Russell.

i climb out and strangle you

i incert your pastout body.

I am revived and an attempt is made to make me more awesome, but fails, due to the enormous concentration of Pure Awesomeness contained within my midi-chlorians and my cells.
I insert a smelly sock AKA Robert Russell