This has been eating at me for a while and I need to know somebody has read it. And for everybody who knows me from way back when.. Hi.

Just for some background..

I went to Italy with 39 people from my school this march break and I wrote about how it made me feel..

How Italy has been affecting my life.

f***. This trip was so good. I can't even imagine how it could have been better. Everything we saw was f*** incredible. Everyone I met was f*** incredible. I have so many feeling about this trip, so much came from it, personally. One thing stood out for me though. St. Patrick's day, a day I am very proud of and am not proud of at the same time. I rocked the day and kinda f*** up the night. People say getting drunk just makes you do things you already wanted to do, and if that's true, then I might have a bit of a crisis going on right now. I told another girl I loved her. I was drunk though. Did I mean it? I don't know now. I said it twice though. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable because she has a boyfriend, and of course I have a girlfriend too. But there was something there.. at least from me to her. I really did feel something. The problem is I don't know what I feel now. I haven't seen her in two days, I think that's good for me. Maybe just not seeing her and not thinking about her will do me some good. I'm really confused right now and I wish I knew what was going on with me.

The most prominent feeling in my life right now is boredom. I can't stand just sitting on this computer, refreshing my pages, waiting for something to happen. I want to go out and do something. I want to leave. Leave this life behind.. or at least feel different somehow. I want something more. Italy really showed me how small I am, there's so much in this world and I'm stuck here in this pathetic little fishbowl. I wish I could get up and leave, but I'm not one to run from my problems. I want to figure out what the hell is wrong with me, I've felt different ever since I got back. I've felt like life here just isn't for me. I want something bigger, something different and something better. I wish I knew what I wanted. I think that might be the main problem with my life right now. Telling that girl I loved her has really f*** with me. Maybe I'll just do what most people do and drink my problems away. I have to note that it's interesting I say that because I normally do not drink. Ever. Just another way this trip must have changed me.

Another thing that's come of this is that I think I've really discovered who my best friends are. The group who came with me were my family for the past 11 days. Now that I'm back, everybody else just isn't the same as I remember, but I think it's me whose changed. There were 39 of us and all of them really have become some of my best friends, especially one, who was already one of my best friends. Being on this trip, getting drunk with him, telling girls we loved them, we do both have girlfriends. I think on the inside he's just as confused as I am about this whole mess, but neither of us will show it. I learned a lot about myself through this guy and a lot about him, we are pretty much the same person, but just as stupid, we can drink the same amount too, just as a side note. He actually kissed another girl, something I was not stupid.. or maybe smart enough, to do. I don't even know what to think anymore, but writing this at least helps me organize my thoughts. I don't know who will read this but know that I regret nothing. I'm happy with every decision I made. Happy with hitting on a girl with a boyfriend while I have a girlfriend. Happy I told her I loved her, whether I meant it or not. Happy I got drunk. Happy my best friend kissed another girl. And most of all, happy I can write this and organize my thoughts.


-Will

i don't think that's appropriate for your english essay about your school trip

Writing ability: 10/10
Life story: 8.5/10 (wasting your evenings not sleeping?)

Sounds like a lot of fun though

wat