inb4 IntroSpecktive
He has a spear that can impale you.
He has poison, which could probably kill the average person in a minute. Plus, he has a f***ing reaper.
Bombs. Lots and lots of bombs.
"BOWSER'S SADISTIC AS F***!" - Intro. Plus down throw.
Your whole body would disintegrate with a Falcon Punch.
He has a high voltage plug. And a toothbrush. Bow before him.
His upsmash would crush you in a millisecond, his hands can create earthquakes, and Giant Punch could decapitate your head. Need I say more?
Lasers.
Lasers.
No desciption needed.
ehhhh nine?
No description needed.
Growth could (maybe?) crush all your bones at once. And he has a sword.
Because rest is apparently the most excruciating painful move in smash. Yeah.
You get turned into a star if he spits you out with inhale. Idk how that would feel.
Arrowsssssss. And bombsssssss. And a big ol' sword.
He has two swords. TWO swords.
Fireballs?..
ehhh idk.
Fireballs?..
The sword. THE SWORD.
Crash bomb, Mega Buster, lemons, fire, etc etc.
He can turn into a tornado i guess.
Rasengan?
PK FIRE WILL BURN YOUR WHOLE BODY. IF YOU THOUGHT SPAMMING IT WAS ANNOYING, SPAMMING IT WOULD KILL YOU IRL
His fire hydrant can crush you.
The almighty booty. And her crown i guess.
NEUTRAL B SPAM
His neutral and up air are literally helicopter blades, slicing your body into pieces at once.
Charge shot. Not only can it kill at 30% but it can also vaporize you.
SUICIDE BOMB
Needles which can impale your skin. More or less like a cactus.
SPIN DASHHHHHHHH
Command deck. Fire would burn you. Blizzard could make you freeze to death, and thunder would probably shut down your whole body.
He can smack you with his tails or something like that.
WAFT. OH GOD.
Your body would be crushed in his Egg Lay.
Magic. And up air.
Plasma.

Lemme know if i missed anything.

I don't know about brutal but I'll allow Bowser to down throw me anytime.

The tip, THE TIIIIIPPPPPP*

He's a boa constrictor with them noodle arms

He can Airlift you into space or just dump you off a cliff.
Can send you To The Moon with his Up-B or dramatically kick you off the ledge with his taunt so that you get trampled to death by wildebeests.

also has a boxing glove (seriously, thats gotta hurt) and discount helicopter blade-esque twin tails. And judging by sheer size, his gun also looks rather unpleasant to get hit by.

has the power of the elements+poison and also can make meteors rain upon your poor face. Small meteors, but a meteor is a meteor.

has bombs. Nuff said. Oh and he is a psychic type apparently. And sandgabs in real life are quite heavy, so having one beat you up doesnt sound exactly fun either.

has a sword, can create/turn into a tornado and what looks like purple Jordans made out of steel with some nasty pointy ending. Remember that next time you get DThrow techchased across the stage.

has a torch and a hammer. Ow.

literally eats you alive. And fart of course.

digests you, has a hammer and can turn into one of many painfully heavy objects - including a tank and a f*** MOON.

has lasers. And metal legs.

has a sword and a bow n arrow and a boomerang (I imagine getting one chucked at your head is pretty unhealthy). And lets not forget the hookshot that pierces your skin and rips your body apart when it reels you in.

Can litearlly punch so hard that the air around him ignites itself. Aside from the sheer force of such a punch/The Peoples Elbow, its fire and fire is scientifically proven to be painful to the touch. Also Knee and Stomp.

has psychic powers that would be incredibly OP irl (I remember something about him being a literal universal psychic powerlevel wise - as in the power of the whole universe. How did Giygas tank his attacks again?). Just imagine getting DThrowed, shocked to death by PK Thunder or getting flung across your street with Back Throw. And PK Flash is propably going to make you disintegrate on the spot I guess. And he has a baseball bad because why not?

its a sword but its also the key to virtually every door, so he can break into your house and beat you up as he pleases. Also magic.

has bombs, but those arent even that bad. 4HEAD is all Im gonna say.

can look at you with an angry face. And literally eat you whole and digest you within seconds. Getting rolled over by a humansized dino egg also seems like it would make for a rather... flat joke if you get hit by it.


Just my two cents.

- will pop your balls with their skulls

Lloyd's Sword Rain infinite is quite overkill with so many stabs.

- get fisted up the a** b****

- Rasenshuriken can cut you, like, crazy. Just imagine the pain of getting hit by one ._. .
- ALLAHU AKBAR!! Can violently crush you by "doing the flop".

A Balloon can exert so much force that one is launched a great distance... and don't get me started on when the Balloon sleeps!

a body that pulverizes you a soon as you lay eyes on her( )and a laser gun and whip that can disintegrate your chest

Pffft, Wario's a lot thiccer.

Goku can destroy your ears with his Side Taunt.

Master Hand can completely obliterate you with his drill-powered fingers. Ouch.

(...what? master hand counts right? )

can you specify this...
drill-powered fingers?