My 1st RP Character, Justinian York
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drwill439
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:17 pm Posts: 337 Location: Earth. Its where I keep all my stuff.
Gender: Male
Skype: wanderson_439
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This is my first character bio, hope you like it. 1. Name: Justinian York Age: 21.6 years old; Race: 1/2 Human, 1/4 Skymordian, 1/4 Lumordian Height: 5'10; Weight: 149 lbs 2. Appearance Justinian is a dark skinned humanoid being. His black hair is in a large afro. Justinian is extremely hairy due to the Skymordian blood that flows through his veins, meaning he shaves every thing off of his face daily (Sans the mustache). He always wears jeans, a graphic t-shirt, his favorite black hoodie, red fingerless gloves to hide his Lumordian hand markings. He wears black sneakers (usually Converses (unless we aren't allowed to have specific brand names in our bios.)). Justinian is never seen without his backpack, where he holds his laptop and asprin. He always has his smart phone, a mechanical pencil, a pen light, his wallet (which holds his driver's license and a picture of his mother.), a 32 GB USB drive, his apartment keys, and his name tag for the convenience store he works at. 3a. Abilities Part 1- Paranormal Cloning - Justinian has the ability to maintain 20 clones of himself. Justinian can control each clone individually, but it gives him a killer headache after about 5 minutes. This power is not present in any of Justinian's ancestors. Energy Creation and Manipulation - Justinian can conjure and manipulate a mysterious energy at will. The energy is created whenever Justinian's adrenaline levels heighten. The origin is unknown at the moment due to all the Skymordians being purged by the Lumordians. The energy is dark with an orangish glow in the middle. He is only limited by his imagination with this power. This power is derived from the Skymordians. Healing - Thanks to his Lumordian bloodline, Justinian can heal himself at will, given about 20 seconds or so. Justinian's hand markings glow bright green when the ability is in use, and dulls down as the healing process takes place. 3b. Abilities Part 2 - Normal Skilled Jiu Jitsu Practitioner - Justinian has studied the art of Jiu Jitsu since he was 6. He is near fatal just based off of his melee attacks. When he adds his energy and clones into the attacks, Justinian is tough to beat. Computers - Justinian loves computers to the point that he keeps his laptop with him constantly, along with a 32 GB flash drive. Parkour - Justinian is an accomplished freerunner. His experiences with parkour help him find exits that few ever could. Justinian always has his escape route mapped out. Use of Weaponry - Justinian makes use of twin daggers awarded to him the day he recieved the coveted Black Belt 1st Dan. He can cover them with energy to add to the deadlieness of the daggers. 4. Bio: Coming soon, even though it deserves a rewrite.
_________________http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198041039390It's been a while, so bear with me if I can't remember certain technical things about the game.
Last edited by drwill439 on Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:41 am, edited 5 times in total.
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Fri Feb 24, 2012 6:53 pm |
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Shrapnel
Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2011 3:14 pm Posts: 892 Location: 3 o'clock
Gender: Male
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A good rule of thumb is that you shouldn't describe your characters by comparing them to others. Anything that's unknown is subject to being taken as laziness on the part of the writer. If I were you, I'd give the energy power some kind of origin, or at least a reason for it being unknown. And speaking of powers, your character seems to have a very broad range of abilities. In fact, between cloning himself, rapid healing, green lantern powers, martial arts proficiency and telekinesis, I would even daresay he's just a teensy weensy little bit ridiculously overpowered. It's good to see that you're at least trying to limit these, but quite frankly, you're going to have to make his powers much less potent, probably even drop one or two entirely. What's more, I am extremely perplexed by his lineage. Unless he was conceived by three parents rather than two, I don't see how his heritage could possibly be split into thirds like that. Other than that, all I can say is keep practicing.
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Fri Feb 24, 2012 7:30 pm |
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drwill439
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:17 pm Posts: 337 Location: Earth. Its where I keep all my stuff.
Gender: Male
Skype: wanderson_439
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Thanks for the crits, Grenade. I do explain the lineage in the upcoming bio. His father is a mix of the two races. I just need to condense the bio a bit and I'll edit it in. I think you're right about him being OP, I think I'm gonna drop Teleportation and maybe Telekinesis. Edit: Fixed the description up some.
_________________http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198041039390It's been a while, so bear with me if I can't remember certain technical things about the game.
Last edited by drwill439 on Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:01 am |
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Shrapnel
Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2011 3:14 pm Posts: 892 Location: 3 o'clock
Gender: Male
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No, seriously. How did he get to be 1/3 of each? The math just doesn't work!
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Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:06 am |
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Kiki
Site Admin
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 7:32 am Posts: 7557 Country:
Gender: Female
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If his father is a mix of two races it's be 1/4 and 1/4 and then 1/2 human
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Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:11 am |
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drwill439
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:17 pm Posts: 337 Location: Earth. Its where I keep all my stuff.
Gender: Male
Skype: wanderson_439
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I always thought that if you have 3 different races, you go for thirds. I could be wrong, though. Just to make it easier, I'll change it. Edit: Fixed again.
_________________http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198041039390It's been a while, so bear with me if I can't remember certain technical things about the game.
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Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:38 am |
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