granted, but you dont main falco and you keep getting f*** by falco mains
i wish for money

Granted, but it's counterfeit.
I wish I was as funny as I thought I was.

step one get rid of that uber-narcissistic box in your sig
i wish for sex

Granted but every time you have sex you just think of the dead bird aesthetic

I wish my OCS would become real

Granted but they all join to get her to kill you

I wish nothing existed

Granted but you are nothing and thus continue to exist in a vast sea of nothingness.

I wish for Ice Climbers in SSF2.

Granted, but chaingrabbing is removed Smash 4-style.

I wish for infinite wishes. (Unless meta-wishes are not allowed. In which case I wish for a taco.)

Granted. The universe collapses into a black holes because the information density is infinite. Good work.

I wish for a taco.

Granted, but it immediately falls to pieces when you lay your hands on it.

I wish that communism was never a thing.

Granted but it makes the Russians fascists and we lose WW2

I wish world war ii never happened

Granted, but Germany wins WWI by nuking everything.

I wish there was a way to get infinite wishes without destroying the universe.

Granted but they're all corrupted

I wish India would kill ISIS for us

Granted but after the fall of the radical Muslims, radical Hinduism becomes a thing.

I wish people were half as simple and easy to understand as Calculus.

Granted. People can now no longer hide any of their secrets. All criminals are caught in a matter of days. As a result of overcrowding in the jails, there are riots, resulting in prison breaks across the nation. Meanwhile, people begin to commit suicide as their deepest, darkest secrets are brought into the light. With the mass suicide and the prison breaks, the government tries to direct the rage of the people towards the person that caused people to be so easily understood. You are found, and sentenced to death by being cut into an infinite number of infinitely small pieces.

Also, 20XX happens because all players can read their opponents perfectly.

btw I'm assuming you meant the basic Calc I&II stuff, cause that's easy, but s*** like complex analysis is weird af. Let's not go there. Because I can wrap my head around integrating a person to death, but not integrating them to death in the complex plane along a hyperbolic path that encloses a meromorphic region by reconnecting to itself at infinity.

I wish complex analysis was as easy to understand as Calc I (It'd make my life a hell of a lot easier).

It happens but it makes both fields completely obsolete and you are euniched for being totally useless.

I wish people didn't get euniched for being perceived as useless anymore.