Granted but you create a rock you can't lift right above your head and die because of it.

I wish I was respected

Granted but it's for all the wrong reasons which makes you suicidal and you kill yourself

I wish I had a V

Granted but Joeyclassicsonicfan turns it red, flips it upside down, strikes through it, and clones it a ton of times. This blatant misuse drives you to depression and causes you to commit suicide

I wish Omni would acknowledge my "praise the 69 gods" spam aside from saying "Please stop that"

Granted but he does so through getting you arrested for harassment.

I wish for a ham sandwich.

Granted but the ham sandwich is so bad, you invent a time machine just so you can prevent yourself from eating the sandwich, causing a time paradox which destroys the universe.

I wish the universe wasn't destroyed.

Granted but the universe is so flawed you suffer more while the universe exists, causing you to wish the universe was destroyed. The paradox created by the conflicting wishes would normally destroy the universe, but because I can't do that and still grant your wish, the universe destroys you instead.

I wish that puzzler7 made a wish.

Granted, but that wish is that you would die.

I wish I had a Rubik's dodecahedron.

Granted but you can't lift it.

I wish I didn't forget to make a wish.

Granted but you forgot to make a wish every other time.

I wish I actually succeeded in college.

Granted, but nobody's hiring in your field so your career becomes minimum wage at a fast-food joint.

I wish porn didn't exist.

Granted but now there's no more sex so the human race dies out.

I wish snidbert had an interesting pfp.

Granted but it's an exact copy of yours, thus you two kill eachother in a fight over ownership of the picture

I wish puzzler7 would get funded.

Granted but he's funded by IOI industries and loses all respect for becoming a sux0r.

I wish Pikachu's jab had infinite range and instakilled

Thanks Danny!

Granted but it has 14400 frames of start lag.

I wish for sm4sh ledges in ssf2.