Name:SAX
Also Known As: SniperAssassinX or Dilan(depends on what you want to call him)
Age&Gender:16,male.
Species: Human
Alignment: Good
Weapons:Ranging From Pistols to katanas, he's ready for anything.
Bio: When this hero isnt doing missions or doing homework, he's usually hangin' out with his friends Lauren and Noah(who know his real name),but when the world needs saving, you can count on him to get the job done(tho' he will need help when the time comes.)and homework is the least of his problems,when it comes to that(next to girls,and dealing with the bullies at his highschool.) But this guy is pretty busy as is, not much else is known about him, except that he lives with his friend lauren(who is kinda like a sister to him), he has an evil version of him(kinda like how scott pilgrim has nega scott as his dark copy or link and dark link, or even Samus and the SA-X), other than that no one knows where he came from or why he is here, but i will explain... why he is here is because, he was born in Detroit, about 5 years ago his parents went missing after going on a cruise for 2 days,and when he found out, he was struck with grief and anger, but his friend,lauren was there to help him through it, even let him move in with her(how nice of her to do that.) and 1 year after this happened, he found out his parents were dead(or were they?) His brother,James left to go join the army(james was 4 years older than dilan, so yeah.)
now you are wondering on how Dilan became SAX,well y'see one day after school apperently some jackass kidnapped lauren and left our hero two things: a note, and a black and white wristband(the wristband had special abilities) and with the abilities given to him, he knew what he had to do: save the girl and kick some @$$, so he did that and he called himself SniperAssassinX(SAX for short)and since that day, he has kept the new persona a secret(well except to his friends.) so for those who wanted the full story, here ya go!

more detail needed

will come back tomorrow for detailed analysis

why does a secret agent sniper assassin have bullying problems
kick his a** damn

few things guy, by day he's just an average ordinary everyday student, who seems like an easy target to bullies, and the fact that he dosent want to blow his cover, but at night(or sometime before that), he is basically doing what he does best. 'm i right?

uhmm you don't even need to be a secret agent to handle "bullies"
you just need to be an average, none-pussie person

you have a point, but who said i was implying my character was a secret agent in the bio?
but still,you do have a point.

in other words, his weapons range from long range to close range, or something, sorry if you were confused about it

calm down, geez

Alright so this needs more detail.
Where are the physical traits? I have no clue what he looks like and now you expect me to potentially work alongside this "in game"?
Does he have a real name?
Jack of all trades is big no for weaponry (and, well, pretty much everything else). Being able to pick up anything and use it whenever isn't fun for everyone else. Be specialized and specific.
His bio isn't even a bio for Christ's sake. There is no back story, it's like you just gave me a synopsis of a movie (which, by reading, sounds like a pretty generic Disney channel show by the way

16 is a bit young. Teenage characters are always very stereotypical and bland.
Unless you're a genius and can make a real to life teenager then I'd say don't push it.

I'd say use another as an example.
viewtopic.php?f=23&t=19620
it's one of my older characters, but it has all the necessary parts for a sheet and I'm p. much king of rp on this forum so my examples are the best

to me 16 is a fine age to have for a character, and im sorry if you dont like the way the bio is, well its my first, what do you want from me, but you have your opinions, which i respect, and if you want to know the real name of the character, i will PM you the name, and thank you for the criticism whimzer.

16 might seem fine to you, however in most cases, it seems a bit too young, skilled in certain abilities especially. We do want improvements on your bio; from your first to your tenth, it doesn't matter. Hiding his real name doesn't really make sense to be honest, and even you do continue that sort of thing, I'm sure he has something other than SniperAssassinX as an alias to other people if he uses his real name only with his friends.

well im probably going to edit the bio, 'cause now that i look at it, it kinda looks incomplete.

look dude i'm sorry but i just can't picture anyone in any secret agency (or anyone over 12) seriously calling someone "SniperAssasinX"

everyone has their opinion and it seems i cant win XD

Maybe they have a sense of humor and call their members by derogatory names like "One-Inch" or "s*** (His)"


Eh, Alignment? Well it's alright, though you could add a Lawful/Order (-Neutral-Chaos-Freedom to it. "Nobody knows"? No one really likes that s***, really not much of a point unless it's absolutely vital that no one knows (and it generally isn't).