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Geno
Site Admin
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2009 11:32 am Posts: 11709 Country:
Gender: Anime Girl
Currently Playing: Undertale
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I found it very interesting. Can I use him and the gum thing in a manga?
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Sun Oct 18, 2009 6:32 pm |
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War P. Anda
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:05 pm Posts: 1503 Location: in your heart all along
Gender: Female
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...What? but thanks for the compliment! Umm... You write a manga?
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Sun Oct 18, 2009 7:06 pm |
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Supaspeed345
Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:48 pm Posts: 309 Location: I'm somewhere. Someplace. That you know NOTHING of.
Gender: Male
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Hm...I didn't know that either. Back on topic people.
_________________ SSF2 Mains - Ichigo, Wario, Megaman, Sora, Ness, Yoshi, Lloyd
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Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:14 pm |
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Kevin
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:49 am Posts: 2944 Location: Alexandria, Virginia Country:
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: playerunknown battlegrounds
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First off, it's horrible. | | | | WarPandaXI wrote: can i join?
name: David Okay. Since I understand that you took the name Kevin at first, f*** you. Stop stealing my name. And also, David. David what? Give him a last name, or make up some s*** about him not having a last name or, something. Weapons: gum and fists If you're gonna f*** put fists, at least put that he fights with his fists or something. Some idiot like you could easily make the mistake of thinking he carries around fists. age:12 I most definitely have a problem here. 12? He's 12? I really hope you don't mean 12 f*** years old. Because I don't know ANYONE who's twelve years old that can create gum that can: turn into a f*** fireball, be used as a bungee cord, blow up, or craft weapons. You mentioned nothing about him being a f*** GENIUS. Appearance: Ness style hat, red T-shirt, blue shorts, normal white socks, black soccer cleats, blue eyes, freckles, and messy blond hair. Get Firefox, or use some kind of spellchecker or something. Stop making stupid spelling mistakes you could very easily avoid. Also, way to look generic. Be more descriptive. How long are the shorts? How tall is he? How much does he weigh? What color is his skin? Try to include these details into your bio. Without them, we've no clue if your character is a fat a**, or a f*** giant. Bio: His city was destroyed by evil guy, yadayadayada, he swore vengeance an stuff, and created special gum with different properties. If you're not gonna put ANY f*** effort into doing this part, don't do it at all. Oh god, this is even worse than the appearance. First off, 'His city was destroyed (Yes, there's an 'r' in destroyed).' How? By who? When? Why? Where is this city, and what's it's name? 'by evil guy.' What evil guy? What exactly made him evil? Who the hell was he!? Without these details, you're not even giving a background of his life. This is also very generic. Spell vengeance correctly. Also, he created a gum with different properties. How exactly did he create it? At what time in his life did he create it? I already covered this, but HE'S 12, GODDAMN. types of gum: bungee: basically just really stretchy. gun: when spit turns into mini fireball, when blown into bubble is like a bomb. static: gum that slowly charges electricity, then erupts into a strong attack. Clay:a few seconds after being spit out it will grow and harden, used to quickly craft weapons. ice: basically like gun but with ice. Spell basically right. I don't understand a couple of things here. First off, how does the bubble become a bomb, and why the f*** would you want it to when it's still in your mouth? Think about what you're writing carefully. Don't really understand what the strong attack is for static either.
He will probably get more types later, but not all attacks are listed... it was just an example of what the gum can do. Will he craft more? How will he get more?
Edit: oops. didnt realise the name kevin was taken... | | | | |
Comments in bold. I know I'm not one to talk, but w/e
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Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:36 pm |
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War P. Anda
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:05 pm Posts: 1503 Location: in your heart all along
Gender: Female
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Edit: fine, i did...
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Last edited by War P. Anda on Tue Oct 20, 2009 12:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:12 pm |
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ll
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2008 9:27 am Posts: 676 Location: NY
Gender: Anime Girl
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Mon Oct 19, 2009 6:21 pm |
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Kevin
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:49 am Posts: 2944 Location: Alexandria, Virginia Country:
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: playerunknown battlegrounds
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Don't tell me, put it into your f*** bio.
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Mon Oct 19, 2009 8:54 pm |
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Supaspeed345
Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 5:48 pm Posts: 309 Location: I'm somewhere. Someplace. That you know NOTHING of.
Gender: Male
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GET BACK ON TOPIC! Zak ducked as a bat went towards him. "What the..."
_________________ SSF2 Mains - Ichigo, Wario, Megaman, Sora, Ness, Yoshi, Lloyd
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Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:30 pm |
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ll
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2008 9:27 am Posts: 676 Location: NY
Gender: Anime Girl
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Jaques screw his bat again.
(My descriptions are amazing)
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Tue Oct 20, 2009 5:28 pm |
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Kyzak
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:05 pm Posts: 1527 Location: (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*♥:・゚✧
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((What. How does one f*** a bat? No nevermind don't tell me.))
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Tue Oct 20, 2009 5:30 pm |
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Wolf on the Moon
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:29 pm Posts: 1951 Location: Fresno, California Country:
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: All Star Battle
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OOC: @Kyzak: You forgot about Mikeweak's ED pic from when he hacked us?
Kayla smiles without turning around.
"I can hear what you're doing behind me. Stop it, or suffer the consequences of battle." She says. "Don't make me turn around."
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battoubro
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Tue Oct 20, 2009 6:42 pm |
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Kyzak
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:05 pm Posts: 1527 Location: (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*♥:・゚✧
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Tue Oct 20, 2009 6:46 pm |
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ll
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2008 9:27 am Posts: 676 Location: NY
Gender: Anime Girl
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Jaques Threw another bat.
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Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:07 pm |
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Wolf on the Moon
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:29 pm Posts: 1951 Location: Fresno, California Country:
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: All Star Battle
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Kayla attempts to catch the bat, but fails, not being fast enough.
"Why must you throw your wood?" She asks, unaware of her Double Entendre.
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battoubro
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Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:17 pm |
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War P. Anda
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:05 pm Posts: 1503 Location: in your heart all along
Gender: Female
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is there any chance i can just join without ferilo?
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Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:22 pm |
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