Granted, but after a day of JRPG fun a rat sneaks into the house and chews the analog sticks away

I wish I was president of the United States

Granted, you are now Trump and at least half of America hates you.

I wish my cats were normal.

Granted. You now have dogs.

I wish my internet was fast enough to play online and listen to music at the same time.

Not playing the game in this post, pretend this post doesn't exist, just pointing out how great a wish this is. I was literally wishing this at the time of this post, and yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, etc.

Granted, but you didn't wish for anything kiddo.


I wish i can make friends

Granted, but they stab you 17 times because you took tyrannical control of this thread by not acknowledging that CJ asked for his posted to be discounted, meaning that you should have corrupted my wish.

I wish that someone corrupts my above wish about fast internet.

Granted, but it is corrupted so horrifyingly that you wish you never wished.
And because Valerina can't read, I shall corrupt your wish about fast internet.
You wish about having fast internet is granted, but you find out that the problem isn't your internet and actually your computer.

I wish Valerina could read

Granted but she can't write

I wish they still sold Time Out chocolate bars here in NZ

Granted but I don't know what those are so they just mass-produce Hershey bars instead.

Granted, but you forgot to make a wish again.

I wish for absolutely nothing.

Granted, but nothing is still something.

I wish for eternal happiness.

Granted, but everyone else has bipolar depression.

I wish I was accepted into 'squads'

Granted, but all the squads you're accepted into belong to me.

I wish for infinite food.

Granted, it is all rotten.

I wish a had a machine to create anything I want.

Granted, but anything food or internet related is denied.

I wish i would stop forgetting to do my homework.