Speaking of Brawl..

*Knees Colt-X in the groin*

THAT'S FOR LIKING MARIO BROS.!

Now, back on topic.

Zelda:
Princesses are always worth saving.
Listen to the wise old men.
Everyone is looking for jewels.
You need Power, Wisdom, and Courage to succeed.
You need the magic sword.
Ancient peoples were able to build highly advanced tools such as the spinner and hookshot, yet we can't do that today.

Kirby:
Sucking is good.
So is blowing.
Don't forget about inhaling.
Inhaling allows you to expand yourself and fly!
Some objects you swallow allow you to transform and gain super powers, such as wings and the ability to turn into a rock.

Pokemon:
Slavery.

Advance Wars:
Money is practically given to you by waiting a couple days.
No matter how many units you lose, you can always build more.

Fire Emblem:
Units are endless, people are not.
You can restart if you happen to lose someone you care about and try to find another way around the catastrophe.
Swords can light on fire.

Kirby can teach kids how to blow out candles.

Hooray! Video Games are the best role models of becoming a good citizen!

Actually playing games like Madden and NBA live are pretty much the reason im an athlete today. Playing at a young age made me want to play the real thing.

And there are college and high-school athletes that use video games to learn different plays then the ones the coach uses. Our running back this year got like 5 good plays from Madden 08.

IMO, most lol worthy part of this post.

I'll post some more when I get home, I mean there's tons of things games can teach ya!

i was going to say that too.

Mario:
jump on things or breaking things neck always slove the problem!

Resident Evil:
get a gun..........., NAO

Sonic:
Fatman + emeralds = robots and badness
Speed is everything.

Brawl:
You can't die. just come back to life.
GET A GECKO!

*Thinks of other games*

Halo:
BOOM! HEADSHOT!
Strapping a grenade to yourself and running up to a mass of people works better than using your gun.
Not all weapons are good at close range.
Swear words.

Animal Crossing:
Animals talk.
Racoons are evil. So are some other animals.
Bells aren't worth as much as pennies.
Axes can't hurt people.
Hitting rocks gives you money.
You can become a millionare by selling apples.
Eating is not necessary, and is generally not preferred.

Jak:
Don't listen to the wise old men, they're generally crazy.
Touch the dark liquid. It may look bad now, but it'll be good 2 games from now.
Orange furry pets are nice to have.
Some guns are better than others, but one gun that has them all is even better!
Kicking is just as strong as shooting, and saves ammo.
Girls don't date animals, unless they're a furry. Which most aren't.

Sonic:
get a jewl and turn yellow
hedgehogs with swords are good.

Gituar Hero:
*i have not played this game before*

GTA4:
You can, and break law.
Go rob a bank.
Shoot random people.
grab people's car.

Seriously, stop coping off of RoyMaster4. It's not funny.

*Does my version*

Sonic:
Speed. (No, I don't mean acceleration-kind)
Some boxes contain rings, some extra lives, some death.
Boxes are also clearly labled.
Rings protect you from death by spikes, but not going to protect you if you jump off a building.
Guns don't work very well.
Mind powers end up being fail.
YOU'RE TOO SLOW!

Metal Gear Solid:
Metal Gear!
It's better to just sneak by and save ammo.
Boxes hide you from everything. You're undectable.
People can't hurt you while you're on the phone.
Bandanas give you unlimited ammo.
Snake? Snake??? SNAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!

F-Zero:
FALCON PUNCH!!!
FALCON KICK!!!
Surgical Implants always help out in the end. Especially in the knee and breast areas.
Fire makes everything look cooler.
Show everyone your moves!

meh........lol.

Eh...

GTA:
A bullet to the head will only leave you at the hospital with $10,000 less.
Being caught by the cops will put you in prison for all of... 2 seconds.
People often leave their car doors unlocked while driving.
Chainsaws and Baseball Bats have unlimited ammo.
Not everyone has money on them.
Pay the $20 for a hooker, then shoot them when you're done to get your money back.
Police cars are faster than whatever car you pick.
If you kill someone, go wait in an alley for about 20 minutes, and the police will get bored and stop looking for you.

Guitar Hero:
Your bedroom is a concert hall.
Stickers on your guitar do not make you play better.
Rocking out wildly is not favorable if you want to get paid.
Stop throwing those wild parties. They're costing you when you only get $300 to spend on stuff instead of $1500.
No matter what, there's always better gigs out there.
Sign your soul to the devil, then beat him in a guitar duel later to get it back.

Star Fox:
No matter how much it may be tempting to shoot your teammate to get a few laughs, don't do it unless you want to restart the mission later.
Do a barrel roll!
Use the boost to get through!
Can't let you do that...

Tom and Jerry-
There are always tiny bombs and fresh cheese cubes laying on the floor, and hundreds of cats in a room.
To survive, beat a giant cat on the head with a plank 3 or 4 times and run, then come back to claim your cheese.

Samurai Jack-
SWORDSWORDSWORD! Jump, wall-jump, wall-jump, SWORDSWORDSWORD!

Dragonball Z-
Make an X with your arms and a flaming Kameha wave will only do a fraction of the normal damage!
Kill stuff and you can get faster, stronger, and gain more health and energy.
Standing on a blue pad will let you respawn there if you die.