A woman and her baby are getting on the bus. When the woman steps on, the bus driver looks at her and says. "My god, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman is so ashamed she breaks down crying, and goes to the very back of the bus. During the ride, a man asked what happened. He tells her; "You don't have to take that, go up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind. Here, I'll hold your monkey."

A bus full of ugly people crashes, and everyone on it goes to heaven. God tells them; "You have each been good, I will grant you one wish." The first person says "I want to be beautiful." The second person says "I want to be beautiful, too!" Everyone starts making this same wish, and about halfway through, a guy at the very back starts laughing. No one knows why, so they just keep going and making their wishes. When the last guy gets up, god says "What do you want". The man replies "Make them all ugly again."

Yo mama's so fat that her doctor told her to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease or even a heart attack later in life.

Your mamas so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Enjoy those warning for spam.

I actually wasn't spamming but alright then

A city is flooded and a man is forced to take shelter on his roof. A boat comes around to the roof and the people on the boat tell the man to get on. The man replies "I am a man of faith! God will save me!" So the boat leaves and the water level rises. Later another boat comes around and the people on it tell the man to get on. Again the man replies "I am a man of faith! God will save me!" So the boat leaves and the water level rises. Later a helicopter comes around and the people tell him to get on. Again the man replies "I am a man of faith! God will save me!" So the helicopter leaves, the water level rises, and the man drowns. Later at the pearly gates the man meets God and says "God I have prayed to you for days and days! Why did you not save me?" Then God replied "I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What more did you want?"

Theres this priest selling a donkey, and a woman comes by and decides to buy it. the pries said the donkey runs when you say Aleluya and stops when you say Amen. The women accepted the consequences and took him out for a ride. She said Aleluya about 5 times when she realizes its going to fast. Shes trying to remember the stopping word, at the same time heading for an abyss. She says Aleluya right before she falls and saves herself. She said Amen and fell.

Alright, all together now.

Hal-le-lu-jah

Also, you f*** up the joke, not that it was ever funny to begin with, way to go!

What do you say when you see your TV floating at night?

"Drop it n*****."

Two fish are in a tank and one of them turns to the other and says: 'hey, do you know how to drive this thing?'

What do you call a box of rationals?

Terrapin.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

Neither have they.

[/inb4i'mgonnabeshanked]

Seriously? You're going to post unnecessary large unfunny s***? Get your a** out of my topic.