Wild West RP, woo hoo!

The Story
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Rain, it never stops. It's been raining for as long as people can remember. It falls among everyone, nowhere you can go without it. Everyone forgot what the sun is, some people even think it's a myth. That is until one day, an explorer, who's name has been lost in time, claimed to have said to see the sun. It was said to be in the center of the largest mountain in this world. It was because of this event, they named the mountain Mount Sunray. How this explorer saw the sun in the center of a mountain still remains a mystery. Now many adventurers and explorers venture to this mountain only to face death. The death of these explorers also remain a mystery. Some people say the pathway to the center is riddled with traps. Others say that there is a mythical beast guarding the gateway to the sun, only allowing people who are worthy to see it. No eyes have returned from viewing what goes on inside that mountain, only the sheer thought of what could have happened.

The Magic Shot System
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Every player has one special bullet that allows them to use magic. The bullet is an empty shell made of a special material that allows a person to conjure up some sort spell that gets shot out of their gun. This can range from a bolt of lightning or a healing shot.

Character Sheet
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Username:(do I have too say it?)
Character Name:(look above)
Appearance:(you know the drill)
Age:(Nothing under 14)
Personality:(self explanatory)
Gun(s):(be aware of the guns they used in the wild west. No giant automatic shotgun)
Magic Shot:(what happens when when they use their special bullet)
Other Equipment:(other types of bullets, some sort of melee weapon if the enemy gets too close, etc)
Bio:(the all important)
Extra:(anything that doesn't fit anywhere else)

So yeah, something new that will hopefully actually last.

This is short but, unfortunately, bitter sweet. The plot doesn't flow like a story should (somewhat due to the way you use punctuation, the sentences being short and periods far too abundant) It's a good idea, but not executed very well. You shouldn't have to have a "The Setting" section, as that sort of thing is meant to be blended in with the plot itself. Before anything I would make the plot flow correctly and add more detail. The points that need this should be obvious.

Alright, I fail the most at actually incorporating the setting of the world into a background so I'll work on that. I'll attempt to re-work the actual writing in the plot also. But I'm glad you like the idea.

I've read about this idea in some short story, but I won't criticize it since it's very likely you haven't seen it.
By the way, wouldn't lightning magic be f*** apocalyptic?

HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING

That's why I said it, so if you use it I'll just call you unoriginal for using the example I gave

And just out of curiosity what's the name of that short story?

I don't know, but it involved a planet where it rains nonstop, and the sun comes out once every ten years for twenty minutes.

Oh! I forgot what that was called too. I read that in science a few years back.

Alright, I rewrote the story a bit and got rid of the setting part and replaced it with the magic system

Most of it still isn't flowing as fluidly as it should. You're using too many periods to end very short sentences.

Like. The. Opposite. Of. Run-ons!

So pretty much my writing sucks. Alright, gotta work on my writing some more. I wanna know some thoughts on the idea itself and if it would make a good RP world.

k, how the hell do the bullets work?
in fact, where do they come from?

I was arguing to myself if I should put the origin of the bullets in the background story but for some reason I decided against it.

The bullets are made from a special metal found very deep inside the ground. A miner was doing his work when he came across a very strong metal. It was so strong that he could only break off little bits of it. The miner figured that with the little of this material that he would try to make a bullet. The bullet was very rough because of the metal's strength. When he shot the gun, a piercing drill like shot came out, much larger than the barrel of his gun. The man was astounded by this happening. He quickly checked the inside of the barrel and looked at the bullet. The rock that he dug up was still there inside the casing. He rushed back to the area where he got it and fired his new bullet at the rock several times, in hope of breaking off more. He ended up breaking off much more but got very tired in the process. He determined that the power comes from inside you and will eventually wear you down. After his amazing discovery got shared among the world, adventurers everywhere bought one of these bullets and used it in their adventures into Mount Sunray.


Now that I think about it I should probably include this in...

YEAH ADVENTURING LIKE AN ADVENTURER
ADVENTURE