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Speedtrap
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:27 pm Posts: 384 Location: Washington State Country:
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: SSF2
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It is the year 2050, in the near future... Hovercars, robots, and invisibility are all common in this era. However, all countries are ruled by one man. Garganteus. He's a monstrous man (you can tell by his name), and all people on the earth are considered his slaves. He rules ruthlessly, and all who defy him are, well, thrown into the void world. The void world is a completely empty place, just like an abyss. Once in, never out is their motto. To tell the truth, you'll fall for a variable amount of years, and then, Garganteus himself lives at the bottom. No one has ever reached him there. He has minions everywhere, some are invisible. You can only find them by listening for creaking joints. Their legs aren't well made, so they are slow. But if you get close enough, it takes an extremely well-trained fighter to defeat them. The entrance to the Void World is at the bottom of the ocean. You won't die in the ocean, because all people in this era are equipped with special air-makers. And there is 0 pressure. However, even with the odds on your side, there are still wild animals, and it is a long way to reach the bottom, and it's dark. One time, someone was diving, and they reached the bottom of the ocean. It was pitch black. One step, and they fell into the Void World. They haven't been heard from since. There is only one hope... The Freedom Fighters. They are anti-Garganteus, and they wish to make peace in this world. All robots are Garganteus' minions, but he has more.
How do you like my first RPG? Vote! Use your made-up RP Characters. Up to 2 characters per person.
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Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:00 pm |
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War P. Anda
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:05 pm Posts: 1503 Location: in your heart all along
Gender: Female
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It could use some improving, "special air makers"? Really?
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Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:04 pm |
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Speedtrap
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:27 pm Posts: 384 Location: Washington State Country:
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: SSF2
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Fine, I'll call it a fish machine. It takes oxygen from the water, and makes it breathable for humans.
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Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:07 pm |
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War P. Anda
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:05 pm Posts: 1503 Location: in your heart all along
Gender: Female
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Better.
Other than that, there's nothing really wrong with the story, other than the odd placement of things.
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Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:12 pm |
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Speedtrap
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:27 pm Posts: 384 Location: Washington State Country:
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: SSF2
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R U GNG 2 JOIN?
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Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:14 pm |
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War P. Anda
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:05 pm Posts: 1503 Location: in your heart all along
Gender: Female
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Maybe, kinda depends on the real first post and such.
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Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:16 pm |
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Speedtrap
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:27 pm Posts: 384 Location: Washington State Country:
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: SSF2
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OOC: Fine. Zander awoke from a very long slumber. He'd been sleeping since the day he earned his sword. After he put on his brand new suit, he walked outside. His mouth dropped to the ground. Is this what's happened during my sleep? Gosh, I need an alarm clock. People are going to call me Rip Van Winkle. Even his car was different. He noticed a small note on the window. "Dear Mr. Jameson, your car has been confiscated, as it is outdated. We know you paid a multi-million dollar fortune on it, so we gave you the modern equivalent." Heh, modern? When I was a kid, modern meant the latest video game! I'd better see what's going on here. Then, something caught his eye. He saw a man being beaten up by a strange robot. "Hey, what are you doing!" He grabbed the robot's shoulder, and turned around. "What's wrong with you?" " This man is guilty of treason. He does not respect Garganteus. He must go to the Void World." "What? Void World? Garganteus? You must be malfunctioning... I'll put you out of your misery." He kneed the robot in the stomach, and his leg went out the other side. He then hid the metal corpse in an alley. "You!" He pointed at the man. "Yes, you! Come here!" The man approached him...
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Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:28 pm |
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Belth
Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2008 10:45 am Posts: 4454
Gender: Male
Skype: belth666
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"It is the year 2050"
Stopped reading.
The world would be over, f*****.
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Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:33 pm |
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Speedtrap
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:27 pm Posts: 384 Location: Washington State Country:
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: SSF2
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This is the RP world. Not real life.
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Fri Jan 22, 2010 5:39 pm |
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War P. Anda
Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2009 1:05 pm Posts: 1503 Location: in your heart all along
Gender: Female
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| | | | Speedtrap wrote: OOC: Fine. Zander awoke from a very long slumber. He'd been sleeping since the day he earned his sword. After he put on his brand new suit, he walked outside. His mouth dropped to the ground. Is this what's happened during my sleep? Gosh, I need an alarm clock. People are going to call me Rip Van Winkle. Even his car was different. He noticed a small note on the window. "Dear Mr. Jameson, your car has been confiscated, as it is outdated. We know you paid a multi-million dollar fortune on it, so we gave you the modern equivalent." Heh, modern? When I was a kid, modern meant the latest video game! I'd better see what's going on here. Then, something caught his eye. He saw a man being beaten up by a strange robot. "Hey, what are you doing!" He grabbed the robot's shoulder, and turned around. "What's wrong with you?" " This man is guilty of treason. He does not respect Garganteus. He must go to the Void World." "What? Void World? Garganteus? You must be malfunctioning... I'll put you out of your misery." He kneed the robot in the stomach, and his leg went out the other side. He then hid the metal corpse in an alley. "You!" He pointed at the man. "Yes, you! Come here!" The man approached him... | | | | |
...This would be the RPing discussion topic, not the RP itself. This section is used to discuss RPs and other such things.
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Fri Jan 22, 2010 6:06 pm |
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