Name: Jay Lavelco
Age: 18
Weapon: Wildcard, a unicycle with several mechanical adaptions, including but probably not limited to;

Wheel of Fate: The wheel grows several blades with lazer edges, and it spins rapidly like a buzzsaw. Can cut through most objects, including lower-tech lazers. Can be used while he's riding it. If he presses a hidden button, the wheel will detach, connected to the unicycle only by a strong, thin black wire.

Pinwheel: Only used when he needs to silently assassinate someone (which he doesn't prefer). He tilts the seat so it reveals the bar beneath, aims it at his target, and cranks his pedal so a dart fires from the previously hidden gun barrel.

Barrelroller (Yes I went there): The wheel sprouts several gun barrels, and, when he starts pedaling, starts spinning (AKA ROLLING (HAHAHA GET IT?!)), firing bullets in the process. Of course, each barrel only fires once it hits a certain point, in this case, the bottom, of the wheel. Or if he's riding it (pressure sensors in the bottom), diagonally upwards.

Unorcycle: Wildcard has a small, hidden, powerful engine that makes it the equivalent of a modern-day motorcycle.

Unijumper: The wheel gains pressure sensors that, whenever they feel that there is indeed land under them, releases a bust of energy that sends both Wildcard and Jay flying into the air.

Fighting Ability: As an acrobat, he can easily dodge most attacks, as well as move around the enemy in quick movements, landing weak punches or slices whenever he can.

Vehicle: Wildcard IS his vehicle.

Appearance: A jester hat is easily what stands out most on him, and a three-horned one at that. The front horn is red, left is blue, and right is yellow. Each has a (broken, otherwise he wouldn't make a very good assassin) bell hanging from its end. He wears an open, bright-red vest that has T-shirt like sleeves that shows that he is indeed fairly strong, sporting a six-pack an' all. He wears a yellow belt that holds up multi-colored extremely baggy pants, the four colors on which being dark-green, yellow, blue and red. All of this is somehow tucked into light-green boots, giving his legs a balloon-ish feel. His hair is short and light-brown, and his eyes are light blue.
Personality: Extremely laid-back and carefree, and he would laugh at almost anything. Actually, scratch that- he would actually laugh at just plain anything, wether it be his freinds being brutally murdered or his boss getting a pie to the face. Heck, he'd laugh in the face of death before he took him. He's always extremely- no, SCARILY cheerful.
Why He/She Became an Assassin: He simply thought it'd get a few laughs.

I don't think guns are any more advanced. Million Gunman from NMH2 appears to shoot money at you instead of bullets for some reason, though...

I haven't even played the game but I bet Million refers to the amount of money he has. Or rather, he's so rich he can fire money, like how rich people light cigars with 100 dollar bills.

And we have Letz Shake and his gigantic earthquake-brain machine.

Damn, that was a hard boss.