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*Z*
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2010 10:10 pm
Posts: 28
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: Call of Duty:Black Ops, and SSF2
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Name: Shai
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Age: 13
Height: 5'8"
Personality: A shy teen who has his hair over his eyes constantly. He is a very kind boy, and can easily get along with anyone, but when someone gets on his last nerve, they better watch out.
Description/Clothing: Skinny, but very acrobatic. Has pure black hair that covers both eyes constantly. He wears long, baggy black pants, a long-sleeve black shirt with different patterns on it, and white shoes also with patterns on it.
Weapons: A Medium-Length Sliver Sword. The Weapon is called Lone Wolf.
Special Skills: Can summon a large White Wolf, can talk to animals, and has power over Water, Fire, Light, and Darkness.
Stats(Out of 10): Power-6
Magic-7
Defense-7
Speed-10
Accuracy-8
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| Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:00 pm |
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{420}sMoKeWeEd{420}
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:03 pm Posts: 2825 Location: being a genius Gender: little girl Country: 
Gender: Anime Girl
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I'm not going to bother you about your creativity, but work on your rhetorical level first.
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| Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:10 pm |
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Kittenpuncher
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 9:16 pm Posts: 12685 Country: 
Gender: Male
Waifu: I'm married
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Alright, how did Ensign Emo learn to do all this s***
_________________
Meow
／l、
ﾞ（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、ﾞ ~ヽ
じしf_, )ノ
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| Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:31 pm |
 
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Green Mage
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:53 pm Posts: 2110 Country: 
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 | | | | hydroblue777 wrote: Name: Shai Who names their kid this? The only thing I got from Shai is a band and a Egyptian deity
Gender: Male
Race: Human Is he? I doubt it.
Age: 13 I haven't looked at the rest at this point, but I'm guessing he'll be too young for whatever's included.
Height: 5'8"
Personality: A shy teen who has his hair over his eyes constantly I can already see the emo, isn't this a appearance thing?. He is a very kind boy, and can easily get along with anyone except you know, those people who hate everyone, animals that see him as food..., but when someone gets on his last nerve, they better watch out He has emo strength!.
Description/Clothing: Skinny, but very acrobatic Any reason?. Has pure 100% black hair that covers both eyes constantly. He wears long, baggy black pants, a long-sleeve black shirt with different patterns on it, and white shoes also with patterns on it God, he has no fashion sense, white shoes with a all black attire?.
Weapons: A Medium-Length Sliver Sword Any details, what kind of sword it is.. The Weapon is called Lone Wolf I'd love to see Lone Wolf curb stomp you with Sommerswerd.
Special Skills: Can summon a large White Wolf Does not involve Malkavians, mages, and Werewolves., can talk to animals I miss watching The Wild Thornberrys, and has power over Water, Fire, Light, and Darkness Sadly, he doesn't have heart..
Stats(Out of 10) Give us a scale or something, I'll assume 5 is human, and 10 is godly: Power-6 That's suprisingly strong for a kid.
Magic-7 Okay, is magic here by willpower, or incantations, because if it's the latter...
Defense-7 Holy crap, this kid could be used as a training dummy.
Speed-10 He's the Flash?
Accuracy-8 He must be really good, like taking out a falling ant from a skyscrapper good. | | | | |
1/10
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| Wed Jun 23, 2010 12:06 am |
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iKinkajou
Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2009 10:11 pm
Posts: 1058
Location: Some place down the road, or something
Gender: Male
Skype: iKinkajou
Currently Playing: Fallout: New Vegas, Portal 2, Assassin's Creed 3, League of Legends, Gang Garrison 2, Team Fortress 2, Bioshock 2, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky
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No Backstory? Also, shouldn't it be, "Skinny and acrobatic?"
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| Wed Jun 23, 2010 8:23 am |
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{420}sMoKeWeEd{420}
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:03 pm Posts: 2825 Location: being a genius Gender: little girl Country:
Gender: Anime Girl
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Hah, only an 8 in accuracy? I have a C in clairvoyance and I can count all the bolts on that bridge. 
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| Wed Jun 23, 2010 11:14 am |
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CHAOS_fantazy
Joined: Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:14 pm
Posts: 159
Location: Planet Earth, Milky Way Galaxy, Universe 1
Gender: Male
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| | | | hydroblue777 wrote: Name: Shai What kind of crazy do your parents have to be to get a name like this? ...But, if such was intended, or you're going after a good fantasy novel, carry on.
Gender: Male
Race: Human Nothing else wrong so far, but you may want to be more specific here (Hispanic? African American? What?)
Age: 13 CHILD PRODIGY, the one thing hated most on MG's RPing section.
Height: 5'8" Why include this and yet no weight?
Personality: A shy teen who has his hair over his eyes constantly. Hold yer horses, the "hair over eyes" thing really belongs in appearance. He is a very kind boy, and can easily get along with anyone, but when someone gets on his last nerve, they better watch out. Nothing wrong here, although that sounds a bit stereotypical.
Description/Clothing: Skinny, but very acrobatic. And why is the kid quote-unquote "acrobatic?" Has pure black hair that covers both eyes constantly. See? You're repeating data... He wears long, baggy black pants, a long-sleeve black shirt with different patterns on it, Please describe the patterns. and white shoes also with patterns on it. One, not it, them. Two, if the guy likes black so much, why have white shoes?
Weapons: A Medium-Length Sliver Sword. The Weapon is called Lone Wolf. Perhaps you could merge this with description via "In the way of weapons..." or something to that effect, but nothing is wrong here.
Special Skills: Can summon a large White Wolf, can talk to animals, and has power over Water, Fire, Light, and Darkness. How far can his powers go? This way, we don't know if the kid can only generate sparks or create stars in his hands with the heat of the Sun.
Stats(Out of 10): Power-6
Magic-7
Defense-7
Speed-10
Accuracy-8What the f*** do you think you're playing, Dungeons and Dragons? There are no stats in this kind of role-playing. | | | | |
Also, as my good friend has already stated, your character needs a backstory. Overall, you need to practice. Like, a lot. 3/10, and I think that's being generous. _________________ ~CHAOS_FANTAZY
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| Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:09 pm |
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*Z*
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2010 10:10 pm
Posts: 28
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: Call of Duty:Black Ops, and SSF2
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Yeah, Shai isn't my real name, and this is my first try. Haha......
_________________
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| Wed Jun 23, 2010 4:10 pm |
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iKinkajou
Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2009 10:11 pm
Posts: 1058
Location: Some place down the road, or something
Gender: Male
Skype: iKinkajou
Currently Playing: Fallout: New Vegas, Portal 2, Assassin's Creed 3, League of Legends, Gang Garrison 2, Team Fortress 2, Bioshock 2, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky
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5' 8" for a thirteen year old?
That's a little tall.
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| Wed Jun 23, 2010 4:43 pm |
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{420}sMoKeWeEd{420}
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:03 pm Posts: 2825 Location: being a genius Gender: little girl Country:
Gender: Anime Girl
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i think he just wanted a child prodigy but forgot about how children are usually short
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| Wed Jun 23, 2010 6:28 pm |
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Kittenpuncher
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 9:16 pm Posts: 12685 Country:
Gender: Male
Waifu: I'm married
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I was taller than that...
_________________
Meow
／l、
ﾞ（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、ﾞ ~ヽ
じしf_, )ノ
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| Wed Jun 23, 2010 9:47 pm |
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{420}sMoKeWeEd{420}
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:03 pm Posts: 2825 Location: being a genius Gender: little girl Country:
Gender: Anime Girl
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we're discussing people you f*** giraffe
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| Thu Jun 24, 2010 11:00 am |
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*Z*
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2010 10:10 pm
Posts: 28
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: Call of Duty:Black Ops, and SSF2
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Come on guys. I don't mind everyone giving me bad reviews on this, but I'm really 13, and I'm really 5'8" in real life. Some of the comments were pretty harsh though. And no Kamen, 5 isn't human, and 10 isn't godly. Just think of it like this. A 5 is bad, 6 is good/bad, 7 is normal, 8 is good, 9 is great, and 10 is excellent. I'm not trying to be God or whatever. I'm just having fun with this. Unless my life depended on this, I'm not going to try to hand out every single detail like some great writer. Oh, and NDUESTRE, you should really watch what you say. Doesn't matter if you type it with random letters. You still shoudn't be saying stuff like,quote, "you *something* giraffe!" That can really hurt someones feelings. This go's out to everyone who says things like that.
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| Thu Jun 24, 2010 11:59 am |
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Green Mage
Site Moderator
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 2:53 pm Posts: 2110 Country:
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Because it doesn't matter how harsh it is, as long as they're actually criticizing it.
And a 5's bad? What happen to 1,2,3, and 4? 5 sounds completely average to me, and 10 just seems like the peak for a normal human.
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| Thu Jun 24, 2010 6:31 pm |
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{420}sMoKeWeEd{420}
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:03 pm Posts: 2825 Location: being a genius Gender: little girl Country:
Gender: Anime Girl
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| | | | hydroblue777 wrote: Come on guys. I don't mind everyone giving me bad reviews on this, but I'm really 13, and I'm really 5'8" in real life. Some of the comments were pretty harsh though. And no Kamen, 5 isn't human, and 10 isn't godly. Just think of it like this. A 5 is bad, 6 is good/bad, 7 is normal, 8 is good, 9 is great, and 10 is excellent. I'm not trying to be God or whatever. I'm just having fun with this. Unless my life depended on this, I'm not going to try to hand out every single detail like some great writer. Oh, and NDUESTRE, you should really watch what you say. Doesn't matter if you type it with random letters. You still shoudn't be saying stuff like,quote, "you *something* giraffe!" That can really hurt someones feelings. This go's out to everyone who says things like that. | | | | |
making self-inserts obvious with specific details usually makes you look bad, try doing that with the personality rather than appearance and my cursing doesn't affect anyone anymore, kind of like black people's vocabulary
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| Thu Jun 24, 2010 7:34 pm |
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