To unlock this...
...wait, WHAT DO JOO MEANZ JOO DROP MAH KEY OVAR TEH BOTTOMLESS PIT

To unlock a topic, request it in the cemetary!

To unlock the REAL Chuck Norris, you have to beat the game without losing it.

To unlock Waluigi in brawl turn luigi's cap purple and look in a mirror.

To unlock Balloon Fighter, Play 500 Vs. Matches or complete all target test levels

To unlock the forbidden 7 threaten Sakurai.

To unlock a Goomba in mario kart wii, win 5000 wifi battles and call your wii stupid.

To unlock SSB4, either A: Threaten Sakurai. B: Give Sakurai lotsa money and wait. Or C: Make it yourself.

To unlock a Warpanda in SSBB win 1 million wifi matches.

Wrong, to unlock a WarPanda, kill sonic ovar 9000 times with mario, unlock the tails trophy, and eat all the sugar-related food in a single match.

To unlock Kasai Rex in SSBB, win a stamina mode with you having 1% health and your opponent's health having the maximum health, doesn't work on custom levels.

To unlock a Tetris Block in SSBB, have a score of 10000% in cruel mode or beat Pit, Ice Climbers and R.O.B. as Mr. Game and Watch.

to unlock pie smash it in your face
to unlock mega mario give him a mega mush
to unlock mega mush give mush some steroids
to unlock steroids steal them from Chuck Norris
to unlock mush hit a ? block
to unlock ? block hit the ? block switch
to unlock ? block switch look at the sun
to unlock sunglasses buy one from the store
to unlock the store do it all again i'm not funny

To unlock Pac-Man, you have to pass the secret mode in SSBB, the inescapable maze.

To unlock the inescapable maze, throw the secret item: Rick Rolling dice, and get a frame line and the whole stage become a maze.

To unlock the rick rolling dice, play 1000 matches without getting any damages or knockouts. (no stamina mode)

To unlock Chuck Noris SSBB, tell him he isn't in it.

To unlock Zeekee H. Bomb (a god tier) -- Pass the inescapable maze under 20 seconds