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Kando's Alliance 
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Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 7:35 am
Posts: 858
Emma gasps.

“Oh, for crying out loud,” Eta says.

“We’ve got to do something!” Emma says.

“If we find a way to bring them back to life, I’m telling them to stay behind this time,” Eta says, “It looks like you and I are the only two who don’t die every other hour.”

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{Draco} the Veron (fire-breathing blink fox)
[[Sylver]] the Robotic Dog

Story Mode (not to be confused with official SSF2 story mode)
Rising Tide: 4 stages complete


Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:55 pm
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OOC:Page 5. grade?

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Well, that's that. I said everything I had to just then. Don't bother me again about it.
Pokemon Diamond FC: 4899 4911 1996 OH LAWL
Pokemon Platinum FC: 0130 9838 6816 Ash (Note: Not yet ready for battle but I have a Level 30 Shiny Shaymin in a Master Ball for whoever would like to give me a Level 50 Articuno/Zapdos/Cresselia.)
Pokemon SoulSilver FC: 4898 9417 2153 Kando (Who wants a Shiny Rayquaza?)


Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:59 pm
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The time has come. Please note that a bad grade is not a personal attack, nor is a good grade a sign of favor. The judgement is done completely without personal bias.

Judgement Day

▲▼ Your stat system is very, very basic. While this is rather easy to use in its current state, it is also perhaps overly simplistic. You also do not explain in the first post how the system works. And the system itself is still a bit buggy.
▼ Your characters die every half-second, randomly. It’s ruining the mood big-time, and isn’t really adding to the drama at all. It’s gotten to the point the Eta is seriously considering not trying to bring Kando back, as he would only die once more in short time.
▼ Your Tame skill is more like a Control Animal than actual taming. Taming is when you gain an animal’s trust and friendship. What you do is more of a magical control. It’s a minor detail.
▼ You don’t really use EXP at all, even though you have a slot for it. You just tell us when we level up, arbitrarily. Not to mention, you don’t provide an EXP table.
▼ You gain skills at random, when it suits you. This ruins the challenge of the RP. Not to mention, you do tend to make overly-powerful attacks when you need to finish off an enemy fast. That’s not how it should go, and once again ruins the challenge. In a well-made boss battle, survival should be possible, but it should not be a given.
▲ The plot is fairly straightforward and stays focused on the goal.
▼ The antagonist (the bad guy) is too powerful. If he can kill you from a distance so easily, what chance would any of us have when we actually meet the guy, realistically?

Your Grade: D-

No offense, but this RP is quite a mess. It’ll take a lot of work to get it to good quality, and could theoretically be turned around as such, but it might be a better idea to scrap this and try again.

And a word of advice. Next time, try to make a more detailed ruleset, so there’s less confusion and less room for godmoding. Or try making a non-stat RP.

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{Draco} the Veron (fire-breathing blink fox)
[[Sylver]] the Robotic Dog

Story Mode (not to be confused with official SSF2 story mode)
Rising Tide: 4 stages complete


Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:35 pm
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Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:42 am
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Location: Why should I tell you?
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: Patapon 2, Worms:OW2, Dissidia Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy III, Final Fantasy IX, Final Fantasy VII
OOC: :(

_________________
Well, that's that. I said everything I had to just then. Don't bother me again about it.
Pokemon Diamond FC: 4899 4911 1996 OH LAWL
Pokemon Platinum FC: 0130 9838 6816 Ash (Note: Not yet ready for battle but I have a Level 30 Shiny Shaymin in a Master Ball for whoever would like to give me a Level 50 Articuno/Zapdos/Cresselia.)
Pokemon SoulSilver FC: 4898 9417 2153 Kando (Who wants a Shiny Rayquaza?)


Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:45 pm
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[i]*OOC: I’m still working on the rubric (what level of quality is considered to be what letter grade), but still… Sorry, UP. I hate to be the one to tell you.*

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{Draco} the Veron (fire-breathing blink fox)
[[Sylver]] the Robotic Dog

Story Mode (not to be confused with official SSF2 story mode)
Rising Tide: 4 stages complete


Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:49 pm
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Currently Playing: Patapon 2, Worms:OW2, Dissidia Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy III, Final Fantasy IX, Final Fantasy VII
"P..kkk.....healllllllllllllllllllllllllll!"
Nekan and kando are healed.

_________________
Well, that's that. I said everything I had to just then. Don't bother me again about it.
Pokemon Diamond FC: 4899 4911 1996 OH LAWL
Pokemon Platinum FC: 0130 9838 6816 Ash (Note: Not yet ready for battle but I have a Level 30 Shiny Shaymin in a Master Ball for whoever would like to give me a Level 50 Articuno/Zapdos/Cresselia.)
Pokemon SoulSilver FC: 4898 9417 2153 Kando (Who wants a Shiny Rayquaza?)


Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:03 pm
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*OOC: If he’s coughing up vital organs, I doubt he would be capable of doing that. And if a single PK Heal is able to do all that, it is WAAAY too powerful.*

*OOC: Also, I forgot to mention one thing. You’re spotlighting, to a limited degree. First off, you are always the first one to hear everything. Second, the plot pretty much focuses on you.*

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{Draco} the Veron (fire-breathing blink fox)
[[Sylver]] the Robotic Dog

Story Mode (not to be confused with official SSF2 story mode)
Rising Tide: 4 stages complete


Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:05 pm
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OOC:It too 45 pk heals.

"Emma, search for danger in the air. Eta, listen for danger. Nekan, Use you Pk powers to seek evil out. I will search on foot."Kando says walking into the woods.

_________________
Well, that's that. I said everything I had to just then. Don't bother me again about it.
Pokemon Diamond FC: 4899 4911 1996 OH LAWL
Pokemon Platinum FC: 0130 9838 6816 Ash (Note: Not yet ready for battle but I have a Level 30 Shiny Shaymin in a Master Ball for whoever would like to give me a Level 50 Articuno/Zapdos/Cresselia.)
Pokemon SoulSilver FC: 4898 9417 2153 Kando (Who wants a Shiny Rayquaza?)


Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:17 pm
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*OOC: 45 PK Heals at ONCE? Try to be realistic here. For him to do it even ONCE while coughing up his lungs (litereally) would be an incredible feat.*

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My forums

{Draco} the Veron (fire-breathing blink fox)
[[Sylver]] the Robotic Dog

Story Mode (not to be confused with official SSF2 story mode)
Rising Tide: 4 stages complete


Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:22 pm
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Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:42 am
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Location: Why should I tell you?
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Currently Playing: Patapon 2, Worms:OW2, Dissidia Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy III, Final Fantasy IX, Final Fantasy VII
He can breath without them. Nekan was born with no lungs.

_________________
Well, that's that. I said everything I had to just then. Don't bother me again about it.
Pokemon Diamond FC: 4899 4911 1996 OH LAWL
Pokemon Platinum FC: 0130 9838 6816 Ash (Note: Not yet ready for battle but I have a Level 30 Shiny Shaymin in a Master Ball for whoever would like to give me a Level 50 Articuno/Zapdos/Cresselia.)
Pokemon SoulSilver FC: 4898 9417 2153 Kando (Who wants a Shiny Rayquaza?)


Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:28 pm
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*OOC: What? You JUST made that up, didn’t you? And even if he was born without lungs, the pain of losing his vital organs through such a means would ruin pretty much ANYONE’S concentration. And even under normal situations, I doubt he could cast 45 PK Heals THAT FAST.*

*OOC: Face it, UP, you might have just screwed yourself over with this plot twist.*

*OOC: Also, this is getting out-of-proportion. Your RP has gone to F-rank by far now, because it’s getting completely unrealistic. Once you realized your characters were in any actual danger, you bent anything and everything you could, in terms of logic, to try to save them.*

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My forums

{Draco} the Veron (fire-breathing blink fox)
[[Sylver]] the Robotic Dog

Story Mode (not to be confused with official SSF2 story mode)
Rising Tide: 4 stages complete


Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:33 pm
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Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:42 am
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Location: Why should I tell you?
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Currently Playing: Patapon 2, Worms:OW2, Dissidia Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy III, Final Fantasy IX, Final Fantasy VII
OOC: :cry:

_________________
Well, that's that. I said everything I had to just then. Don't bother me again about it.
Pokemon Diamond FC: 4899 4911 1996 OH LAWL
Pokemon Platinum FC: 0130 9838 6816 Ash (Note: Not yet ready for battle but I have a Level 30 Shiny Shaymin in a Master Ball for whoever would like to give me a Level 50 Articuno/Zapdos/Cresselia.)
Pokemon SoulSilver FC: 4898 9417 2153 Kando (Who wants a Shiny Rayquaza?)


Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:39 pm
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Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 7:35 am
Posts: 858
*OOC: I’m really sorry, but I sorta HAVE to be a bit hard on you if you are to learn. Sometimes, characters die in RPs. Like I said, survival is possible, but not a given.*

*OOC: I really think you should start with a clean slate, though. That is, a new RP.*

_________________
Image
My forums

{Draco} the Veron (fire-breathing blink fox)
[[Sylver]] the Robotic Dog

Story Mode (not to be confused with official SSF2 story mode)
Rising Tide: 4 stages complete


Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:46 pm
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Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:42 am
Posts: 471
Location: Why should I tell you?
Gender: Male
Currently Playing: Patapon 2, Worms:OW2, Dissidia Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy III, Final Fantasy IX, Final Fantasy VII
OOC:I have no new ideas.

_________________
Well, that's that. I said everything I had to just then. Don't bother me again about it.
Pokemon Diamond FC: 4899 4911 1996 OH LAWL
Pokemon Platinum FC: 0130 9838 6816 Ash (Note: Not yet ready for battle but I have a Level 30 Shiny Shaymin in a Master Ball for whoever would like to give me a Level 50 Articuno/Zapdos/Cresselia.)
Pokemon SoulSilver FC: 4898 9417 2153 Kando (Who wants a Shiny Rayquaza?)


Last edited by Gyokokaru on Sat Sep 06, 2008 12:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:49 pm
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do what i do, listen to good amv music and try to think of a really cool sequence, then build around it. That is how I came up with Elemental Armory, i don't remember what song, but it had to do with someone throwing three kunai, they created a large explosion on contact. Then they turned into a light, came back to the thrower in the form of a single two handed sword which pulled him down toward his target and sliced him creating another blast. then i made sense off it and look what happened.


Tue Aug 12, 2008 8:24 pm
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