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My RP person 
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Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2008 1:27 pm
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im a completely new guy here at the RPs

i cant post stuff for the rp bios section so im posting it here, my totally awesome guy

Darkfire

Race: Sub-Human (its a human that has been born with special abilities available only to them)

Age: 25

Time Period: unknown to this point, due to the time expansion which will be stated in the bio

Alignment: Is aligned with the Anti-Shadow Lightfire

Weapons:

Darkbuster- a large sword related to the Cloudbuster, but it is red and black, its constructed with Anti-Shadow metal infused with Amaterasu flames to protect it from melting in the intense flames of Amaterasu but keep the flames lit while on the sword, but the flames will not spread.

Sharingan- the eye of the Uchiha clan, but due to the Uchiha Blood Transplant in order to save Darkfire when he was born, the Uchiha traits were gained by him without side effects, such as the eventual blindness of using Mangekyou, and the eyes will not bleed when using Amaterasu

Phoenix Blaze- the trait that Darkfire gained by being a sub-human. The Phoenix blaze is like the nine-tailed foxes chakra, but it will not take over Darkfire due to the fact it is just a ball of unlimited energy sitting inside his soul that he can just bring out small amounts to hurt the enemy or to protect himself, or he can bring out the whole cloak of energy. He can also use the energy to infuse wings so that he can fly

Ultimate Scroll- the ultimate scroll that holds all techniques. All Darkfire has to do is to think the technique he wants, and he opens the scroll and the technique is pre-written in demonic blood. He can even make up technique, such as his phoenix chidori.

Curse Mark- the curse mark also gained by the Uchiha Blood Transplant. Just like the Sharingan and other Uchiha traits, the Curse mark has no side effects. it is exactly like Sasuke Uchihas curse mark. The curse mark lvl 2 form is also almost exactly the same, exept for the hair, which get to a red color of this tone, and the hair is the same look, exept for the color.

Unknown Powers- Darkfire had used a secret sealing technique on a stranger that had tried to destroy time, and he gained the powers of that person. The stranger had used Shadow Portals to teleport himself and he also had powers over time.

Appearance: Darkfire has black hair with a red stripe down the middle, his hair is moderately long, with his left eye only showing because the hair over his right eye has grown down to his neck, his hair above his left eye only grows to his eyebrows. He also wears a face mask resembling Kakashi Hatakes face mask as it only covers his mouth and nose, but goes all the way around his face and is jet black. He wears a black cloak resembling Akatsukis cloak, but it does not have the red clouds on it, the middle of the cloak, the zipper, is red, and he wears dark blue jeans under his cloak, which is exposed from under his cloak at the very bottom, and he wears black skater shoes.

Personality: He is a nice guy, but when provoked, he will do everything he can to protect him and the people he cares about. He is also a very shy person, as he isnt the one to start a conversation.

Family: Unknown for certain reasons that are also unknown

Bio:
When Darkfire was born, everyone in the village of Gavasa knew that Darkfire was the Sub-Human born once every 10 million years. But when he was born, something went wrong, and they decided to use the Uchiha Blood that they worshipped, and it became known as the Uchiha Blood Transplant, and Darkfire lived on with even more powers then everyone had planned.

Darkfire had never known about his powers until the Invasion. for some reason, the anti-realm had opened up a portal and invaded Gavasa. Darkfire was only 5 when it happened, so he had not discovered his powers yet, but his parents were killed by their anti-shadows, but just as the anti-shadows of his parents were about to kill him, he activated his sharingan and gained all the powers of the Uchihas right there. so he used his Amaterasu to burn the anti shadows, and they burned, but when he burned them, the other anti-shadows saw it, so they knew they had to attack the sub-human, but when it happened, he also gained his curse mark and flew away by turning into curse mark lvl 2 and when he flew away, he cried, he cried so hard that the tears turned into blood. When he landed, a portal opened, and he saw Darkfires anti-shadow come out. He was too scared to move, but when he thought he was about to die, the anti-shadow introduced himself as Lightfire. there was also a legend in the Anti-Realm that when the Sub-Human is born, a good Anti-Shadow is created to help protect the Sub-Human from the other Anti-Shadows.

So Darkfire and Lightfire trained together for 15 years, mastering their skills, but when they were training one day, a strange person appeared out of a portal, a shadow portal, which is a secret technique that is only available by bloodline, and the person raised his hand, and time started to destroy itself right before their eyes. They tried to stop him, but in resulting, Lightfire was killed, only scratching the strangers face. Darkfire was so sad that he couldnt control himself. he opened the scroll and used a secret sealing technique, and in doing so, he gained the time powers and the shadow portal. When the stranger did what he did, things were changed in time, like Lightfire was never killed, but due to the fact that he stopped the technique, Lightfires soul only remained, so Darkfire infused lightfire within his soul.

For the next 5 years, Darkfire wandered the world, and also the Time Realms. Eventually, he found the spirit temple, and he found there was a monster in there, so when he killed the monster, he became known as the Temple Guardian also. So far in his life, he is just protecting the temples and training, looking for fights that he can enjoy


Sun Sep 21, 2008 9:03 am
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Legendary Ghost
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Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:23 pm
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Location: Where angels fear to tread, and man is but a cautionary tale.
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A couple of things.

First: Yup Wrong section, you get into RPG by PMing one of its leaders for access; itll most likely be granted without anything further required.

Second: I personally think it was a bad idea to throw it here before finding out how to join, as you might be flamed; trek at your own risk.

Third: Can a mod please move this into RP Bio's whether hes in it or not? and grant him access?

Fourth: Now for the actual bio, well you kind of formatted it exactly after a certain someone coughmecough, but i don't mind it. It's nice and thick with information so that's a plus, but i found a couple of the weapons to be "meh", the "Darkbuster" was well described and nice, but "Sharingan" doesn't seem like a weapon at all, the "Ultimate Scroll" also seems kind of.. broken.

Appearance was well enough done, providing a description that allows you to understand the look of the character to the necessary amount; while it seemed to be taking from "Kakashi" a bit, it still had its originality.

Personality is also satisfactory, as i don't imagine needing much information for this section anyway.

Family.. theres alot unknown with this guy huh? >.>;

Bio, good length; but theres more to a bio than length. It seemed a bit weird it happens only 1 in every 10 million years; and yet everyone know off the bat what he is; if it takes that long; i doubt it would so much as be writ in ancient texts; let alone everyone just assume. The village entirely was a little awkward.

Now, a realm attacking another realm.. sounds.. a little familiar.., im not sure where you got the idea but -sweat drop- It could've been more descriptive with the fight sequence and slaughter that occurred; but the way in which is was presented was decent enough, the way in which you worded it could use a bit of work though, it gets a little bit odd after that point but remains understandable. Just a matter of depth really. Like the overall plot seems decent, it really does; the way in which is was presented however is what i think bogs it down a bit, better wording and a bit more detail would have avoided this.

Conclusion: A good bio; you say you are completely new, so don't take what i say too harshly; i mean it only constructively. For your first time? you did remarkably well, compared to some others especially.

It could use a few revisions here and there, but IMO its quite passable.

Now please >.> someone move the thread to the right spot.


Sun Sep 21, 2008 10:18 am
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Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2008 1:27 pm
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yes please move this, and ill pm a leader


Sun Sep 21, 2008 10:27 am
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I'm afraid I have to disagree with Nini on this one;

This bio is basically one big mess of ripped-off Naruto and Final Fantasy stuff; If you call this a "Passable Bio" Read it again.

While I'm somewhat satisfied just with the fact you didn't use a Hedgehog or some other crappy race that's already been ripped off 9001 times, And this is your first bio, I still can't say I'll go light on you.

Name: Seems like a spell or something taken from FF. Plus, no last name? Even I make random last names until I have something I like. 2/5.

Age: Well, at least you didn't make him a child prodigy. Hell knows what would have happened there. 0/0

Time Period: FWI, you don't need this in a bio, but whatever. 0/0

Alignment: What the hell is this? Again, it seems like something you ripped off from a game. Plus it makes no sense. If you're going to use alignments, use "Chaotic", "Neutral", or "Lawful" as necessary. Hell, you can even just say "Evil" or "Good", as far as I'm concerned. 1/5

Weapons: I'll do these separate.

Darkbuster: Okay now I KNOW this is ripped off from FF7. 0/5

Sharingan: NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. BAD NUB. Besides ripping something off from the worst anime in existence, you managed to make it s*** by giving it NO WEAKNESSES WHATSOEVER. 0/5

Phoenix Blaze: Ripped off from Naruto, obviously, with one small change to MAKE IT OVERPOWERED AS HELL. -9002/5

Ultimate Scroll: Just like the other three, OVERPOWERED AS HELL. 0/5

Curse Mark: See Sharingan for comment and judging.

Unknown Powers: Shadow Portals? Why are so obsessed with everything "Shadow", "Anti", "Light", etc? Besides that, you've barely even said anything about it, other then you GOT IT FROM IMPOSSIBLE MEANS. Does the shadow portal have limits? How far can it teleport? -5/5

Appearance: Well, wow, you just love to rip things off, don't you? This is ripped off from Shadow and ANOTHER NARUTO RIP OFF. 0/5

Personality: The common "OH EEM GEE I R HERO!" personality. No. Just no. 0/5

Family: No comment. 0/0

Background: BLAH BLAH BLAH TEN MILLION YEARS OF BLARRRRGH BLAH BLAH BLAH UCHIHA RAPE TRANSPLANT BLAH BLAH BLAH OVERPOWERED AS HELL BLAH BLAH BLAH b**** BLAH BLAH BLAH CHILD PRODIGY BLAH BLAH BLAH TRAINED FOR FIFTEEN YEARS WITH A GODAMN BAD GUY TURNED RIGHT, HOW SWEET AND RIPPEDOFF BLAH BLAH BLAH SECRET SEALING TECHNIQUE HE NEVER HAD BLAH BLAH BLAH APPARENTLY ALSO CAN TRAVEL THROUGH REALMS BLAH BLAH BLAH

No. Just no. -72/5

Final Ranking: --97492/10.

Congraulations, you've managed to make the worst first impression I've ever seen. The only thing I've ever seen worse then this I'll never mention. It's too gruesome.


Sun Sep 21, 2008 4:47 pm
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Legendary Ghost
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Location: Where angels fear to tread, and man is but a cautionary tale.
Gender: Anime Girl
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Ouch Kyzy :lol:


Sun Sep 21, 2008 5:06 pm
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aw crap skip this section, these guys are like simon


Sun Sep 21, 2008 5:09 pm
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Mr. Eh? wrote:
Final Ranking: --97492/10.

Two negatives make a positive...

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Sun Sep 21, 2008 11:17 pm
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Thaiberium wrote:
Mr. Eh? wrote:
Final Ranking: --97492/10.

Two negatives make a positive...

I thought it would make it an even bigger negative

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Sun Sep 21, 2008 11:42 pm
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All I have to say, is be more damn original, because this is pathetic. Nuff said.

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Mon Sep 22, 2008 6:55 pm
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N30Chaos wrote:
All I have to say, is be more damn original, because this is pathetic. Nuff said.


This.

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Tue Sep 23, 2008 12:37 pm
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