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Dillon 
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Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 4:08 pm
Posts: 108
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So... Here we go again.

Name: Dillon
Gender:Male
Age:15
Race:Human with cybernetic implants
Appearance: Lightly tanned skin, Jet black hair that is styled similarly to Astro boy's, about 5'10", wears a Black jacket with reddish-pink circuit lines on it with a pink undershirt and dark blue jeans, black and red sneakers with reinforced rubber soles for added protection and shock absorbing.
Personality: A really nice guy whom you most definitely don'y want to push too far. Likes to have fun and is a bit of an adrenaline junkie.
Equipment: A wrist watch-like gauntlet that can be used to turn his jacket into a high powered suit of skin tight armor with a helmet that has an opaque red visor.
Equipment when in suit: The suit has four magnetic grappling hooks with one in each limb as well as two hip mounted thrusters and a jetpack on his back. He also has a energy blade that can transform into the following. A gun, a jet powered scythe, a spear, a whip sword and a pair of tonfa. He ale has a disc on his back which he can take off and use as an energy shield and a boomerang. His final weapon is a pair of plasma based knuckle dusters that can release an explosion of energy on contact though they have to recharge afterwards.
Skills: Parkour master, skilled at hand to hand combat as well as various weapons, excellent marksman and talented dancer.
Powers: In his suit he has telekinesis, and limited control over gravity, electricity, magnetism and atomic energy. He can also fire out tentacles from his suit to grab pieces of weaponry and assimilate it into his suit to transform parts of his suit into what her just absorbed. He can also build up kinetic energy to make him hit harder and faster.
Weaknesses: He namely has to rely on moving around the field of battle with his grappling hooks, jetpacks and parkour skills to give himself an edge in battle. He has to hit hard and fast to get the most out of his skills. Because of the above, he can't take many direct hits due to his suit being made more for agility than defense. Also, If he takes too much of a beating or gets hit too hard, then his suit will break and power down, leaving him vulnerable. Also, if he uses his powers too much than hos suit can overload and shock him instead.

C&C please! Also, do you want to have a rematch Whim?

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Tue Sep 17, 2013 11:16 pm
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Joined: Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:58 pm
Posts: 2715
Location: Kalifornio
Country: Somalia (so)
Gender: Anime Girl
Currently Playing: Mandolin
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ugh

I can't take your new characters seriously man.

"Talented dancer"?
Really?

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Thu Sep 19, 2013 12:51 am
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Joined: Sun Mar 04, 2012 8:49 am
Posts: 1126
Location: GMT+8. Have fun figuring out the rest.
Gender: Male
Skype: Ask and ye shall receive.
Currently Playing: FE6-8, Radiant Historia, TWEWY
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supertoku64 wrote:
So... Here we go again.

Name: Dillon
Gender:Male
Age:15
Race:Human with cybernetic implants
Appearance: Lightly tanned skin, Jet black hair that is styled similarly to Astro boy's, about 5'10", wears a Black jacket with reddish-pink circuit lines on it with a pink undershirt and dark blue jeans, black and red sneakers with reinforced rubber soles for added protection and shock absorbing.
Personality: A really nice guy whom you most definitely don'y want to push too far. Likes to have fun and is a bit of an adrenaline junkie.
Equipment: A wrist watch-like gauntlet that can be used to turn his jacket into a high powered suit of skin tight armor with a helmet that has an opaque red visor.
Equipment when in suit: The suit has four magnetic grappling hooks with one in each limb as well as two hip mounted thrusters and a jetpack on his back. He also has a energy blade that can transform into the following. A gun, a jet powered scythe, a spear, a whip sword and a pair of tonfa. He ale has a disc on his back which he can take off and use as an energy shield and a boomerang. His final weapon is a pair of plasma based knuckle dusters that can release an explosion of energy on contact though they have to recharge afterwards.
Skills: Parkour master, skilled at hand to hand combat as well as various weapons, excellent marksman and talented dancer.
Powers: In his suit he has telekinesis, and limited control over gravity, electricity, magnetism and atomic energy. He can also fire out tentacles from his suit to grab pieces of weaponry and assimilate it into his suit to transform parts of his suit into what her just absorbed. He can also build up kinetic energy to make him hit harder and faster.
Weaknesses: He namely has to rely on moving around the field of battle with his grappling hooks, jetpacks and parkour skills to give himself an edge in battle. He has to hit hard and fast to get the most out of his skills. Because of the above, he can't take many direct hits due to his suit being made more for agility than defense. Also, If he takes too much of a beating or gets hit too hard, then his suit will break and power down, leaving him vulnerable. Also, if he uses his powers too much than hos suit can overload and shock him instead.

C&C please! Also, do you want to have a rematch Whim?


This character feels overdone. It seems, as many others have said, as a self-insert. Although the addition of weaknesses is a nice touch, you may want to give him a personality weakness, as well as to remove some of his abilities(control over gravity/electricity/magnetism/atomic energy and the weapon assimilation)/make them have a more serious overtone to it. On another note, can he absorb lightning?

Having a nice long biography would also help.

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Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:11 am
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