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Zephyere. Take 2 
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Okay, so I decided to redo Zephyere's bio according to the new changes I've made to him. Hopefully this will be better than my previous attempts.

Name: Zephyere
Age: 18 (1800 in human years)
Gender: Male
Height: Roughly 5' 8''
Race: Draconequus
Alignment: Chaotic good
Personality: Normally, Zephyere is a very happy and energetic individual. He is one the friendliest beings you could ever meet. He has a very flamboyant and metrosexual personality however, he is mostly hetero. He has a pacifistic nature to the point of being incredibly cowardly in battle, often letting his teammates do the fighting and is a bit of a narcissist. However, deep down inside, he is and has been quite lonely due to his immortality causing him to outlive most of the people he loved by a long time and will cling to you even if you show him the slightest amounts of kindness. And he's also a bit of a prankster, though always in good fun and never in mean spirits. As well as being a pescetarian and fancies himself as being and evil overlord. He also absolutely SUCKS at fighting. Also, he has a very low pain threshold causing him to be out of battle after a few hits. Due to all of the above facts' Zephyere usually uses large amounts of bluff and bluster to hopefully scare the opponent into conceding.
Appearance: Due to the fact that Zephyere is and comes from a long line of reality warping inter-dimensional monsters with a sick sense of humor, Zephyere has the ability to shape-shift though his default form looks like a large-ish eastern dragonesque chimera with a long, snake-like body covered in sky blue fur everywhere except of his head and neck, which is covered in cloud grey, scruffy fur, and his tail, which is purple and furless except for a small tuft of white fur at the end. His limbs going from the right limb and going clockwise tothe right leg include the following, A hawk talon, a paw of a tiger, a lime green dragon leg and a brown donkey hoof. His head looks a bit like a horse with a long snout with long, sharp fangs and a small goat-like beard with big, soft, blue-green-grey eyes with light blue irises with big, bushy eyebrows. His ears are quite long and floppy with tufts of fur at the ends of them. His hair consists of predominately windswept, spike white hair and a short black donkey-like mane going down the back of his neck and stopping where the grey fur ends. On top of his head are two horns belonging to a goat and a deer. He speaks in a nasally, European-British accent.
Clothing: His main attire consists of a bright green vest like outfit with bulky gauntlets and boots decorated with two crescents and a semicircle. He wears a dark blue beret and a teal scarf and brown aviator goggles above his eyes.
Abilities: Zephyere possesses the ability to create realistic illusions and random food items from thin air though he rarely does because of laziness and the fact that they tend to backfire, badly. Or playing a prank on someone. He also has studied wind and weather magic allowing him to control the weather to a limited degree though he's quite adept a wind and lightning control. He also is quite strong for his size and appearance, being able to lift up small boulders and thrown them short distances. As a side effect of his enhanced strength and wind magic, his lungs are very powerful giving him the ability to blow strong winds with his breath which may or may not be at freezing temperatures, He is also a very agile and fast flyer, though quite clumsy on the ground. He also possesses enhanced smell and hearing. He also has a very large appetite and can eat quite a lot of both food and non-food items (Though not living things). He can sing quite well. And he's also a great cook. Zephyere also has the ability to create powerful, thunder like sonic blasts to blow the enemy away. The downside to his illusion and weather abilities is the fact that they cause him to burn massive amounts of calories, thus his appetite. Also, if he blows too long he will have to stop and catch his breath.
Weapons: A axe that also functions as a gun via a shotgun like pump and barrel in the hilt. Though he usually fights with a umbrella that's a lot more durable than it looks because of magic. He also has a modified, purplish blue kiseru that contains a wind spirit instead of tobacco and is used to enhance his breath and recharge his wind powers.
He also really likes musicals, theater, musical theater, brass music and smooth jazz like this.
YouTube Video:


There you have it! Constructive crit please. Also, anyone want to duel? :?:

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Last edited by supertoku64 on Sun Aug 25, 2013 9:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.



Tue Oct 09, 2012 6:29 pm
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Just a question: What are the limits of his reality-warping? If it's too high, I'm not battling even with an insane character I'm planning.

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Wed Oct 10, 2012 4:17 am
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Not that High-level. Namely just creating objects, changing the color of things,temporary reversal of gravity and short range teleportation. He's still very young, (By Draconequus standards, at least.) So he doesn't have access to the more deadly reality warping abilities like removal/alteration of body parts and brain washing plus more.

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Wed Oct 10, 2012 9:25 am
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supertoku64 wrote:
Not that High-level. Namely just creating objects, changing the color of things,temporary reversal of gravity and short range teleportation. He's still very young, (By Draconequus standards, at least.) So he doesn't have access to the more deadly reality warping abilities like removal/alteration of body parts and brain washing plus more.


What kind of objects? Is he able to create laser guns that kill me? And how long does the reversal of gravity last, and does it affect him? What, to you, is considered short-range teleportation? And I'll create a mage that controls the Earth's elements well to hopefully fight quite well against you.

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Wed Oct 10, 2012 9:35 am
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Namely only food items. Gravity reversal lasts about 30 minutes to an hour. Full range of the teleport is about 1 to 1 and a half football fields in length. Look forward to challenging you.

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Wed Oct 10, 2012 9:46 am
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supertoku64 wrote:
Namely only food items. Gravity reversal lasts about 30 minutes to an hour. Full range of the teleport is about 1 to 1 and a half football fields in length. Look forward to challenging you.


Ouch. 30 minutes to an hour? And a teleport of 1 football field? Are there any limitations on these abilities? And don't worry. My character is going to have more than enough tricks up his sleeve(figuratively) to deal with a reality warper. I'll go for one of these three:
A nature mage.
A future technological genius.
A master swordsman with a rage mechanic put in.

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Wed Oct 10, 2012 9:53 am
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Reality Warping? :3 Seems overpowered to me. You might wanna tone it down a bit.

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Sun Oct 21, 2012 7:39 pm
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It's actually nothing more then the generation of highly realistic illusions, really.

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Wed Oct 24, 2012 10:46 pm
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Quote:
Abilities: Zephyere possesses high-level reality warping powers though never uses them that much due to laziness, unless he's hungry, making a new modern art project (Usually out of someones house.) Or playing a prank on someone. He also has studied wind and weather magic allowing him to control the elements to a limited degree though he's quite adept a wind and lightning control. He also is quite strong for his size and appearance, being able to lift up large boulders and thrown them short distances. As a side effect of his enhanced strength and wind magic, his lungs are very powerful giving him the ability to blow hurricane-force winds with his breath which may or may not be at freezing temperatures, his breath is also strong enough to knock beings unconscious at short ranges with its stench. Also as a side to his wind magic, his flatulence has show to have the ability to cause tornado-like storms. He is also a very agile and fast flyer, though quite clumsy on the ground. He also possesses enhanced senses and the ability to create and control blue-green flames called, "Sirocco flames" that can cause various weather based effects when they hit. He also has a very large appetite and can eat anything. He can sing quite well. And he's also a great cook.


*Cough cough. Generation of highly realistic illusions you say? You're basically making him a superpowered hybrid of 'Alien X'(from Ben 10), the avatar(Avatar the last airbender), Wario, Spiderman, Doctor Doofenshmirts's weather-inator, and Superman.
Alien X because of reality warping, The Avatar because of all the elements you control(in fact you control them at an avatar state level), Wario because of the breath and is fast in the air, Spiderman because of enhanced senses, Doctor Doofenshmirts's weather-inator because it causes weather based effects when they hit, and Superman because he has super strength and the ability to fly. I highly advise to lower his 'power level', because right now, he's a Mary Sue.

Other nitpicks:
Quote:
He also has a very large appetite and can eat anything.

Like diamonds? Or titanium? Basically he can use this to his advantage by just eating the person while flying.
Quote:
He can sing quite well.

I think you're going overboard with this.
Quote:
And he's also a great cook.

Such a Mary Sue that Mary Sue cannot even begin to define this character.
Quote:
his lungs are very powerful giving him the ability to blow hurricane-force winds with his breath which may or may not be at freezing temperatures

Wow. His breath? He could just blow at a person and that person would be blown away, to like, some place far away.

Please edit your profile, because right now, you're a Mary Sue. No one will want to duel with you if you're a Mary Sue.
That being said, after you have finished these edits, and I have completed my profile, I would like a duel with you.

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Wed Oct 24, 2012 11:57 pm
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While I agree this is 100% a Mary Sue/Gary Stu, it's nonsensical to compare a character's powers to another established character's powers. Anyone can have any number of those abilities in various mixes etc, it doesn't mean that its an intentional copying.

The problem at its heart is that this character is overstuffed with powers and on top of that, these powers are nigh cataclysmic in use. In short, it is a godmod; a horrible, horrible godmod.

Eh, since I already started I may as well go over the rest of the profile:

@Race: You never mention anything regarding this race aside from the being monsters from Europe with a sick sense of humour. I have no idea what has happened to the rest of his family, the biology of the race, maybe even a brief mentioning of their culture.

@Alignment & Personality: Mild conflict with the thinks of himself as an evil overlord, even as a jest, someone in the good spectrum wouldn't fancy themselves as evil.

@Powers: Godmod. Fix it.

@Weapons: Mary Stu weapon for a Mary Stu character. A weapon that can turn into anything, really?

@Lack of bio: since this is for duelling purposes I guess it isn't necessary, as there is no story, but its good practice to have bios written, it makes your character more whole.

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Thu Oct 25, 2012 12:23 pm
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Well, I did some modifications to him to make so he's not so marty stu anymore. Whaddya think?

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Thu Oct 25, 2012 9:56 pm
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supertoku, I've got a character set up for battle. Get ready. Not overpowered at all though.

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Fri Oct 26, 2012 4:21 am
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supertoku64 wrote:
Well, I did some modifications to him to make so he's not so marty stu anymore. Whaddya think?

...I'd say still pretty Gary Stueish but that's just me.

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Fri Oct 26, 2012 1:05 pm
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Like how?

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Fri Oct 26, 2012 2:10 pm
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supertoku64 wrote:
he is mostly hetero

how mostly is mostly

would he have sex with me?


Fri Oct 26, 2012 2:15 pm
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