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My 1st RP Character, Justinian York 
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Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:17 pm
Posts: 337
Location: Earth. Its where I keep all my stuff.
Gender: Male
Skype: wanderson_439
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This is my first character bio, hope you like
it.
1. Name: Justinian York
Age: 21.6 years old; Race: 1/2 Human, 1/4
Skymordian, 1/4 Lumordian
Height: 5'10; Weight: 149 lbs
2. Appearance
Justinian is a dark skinned humanoid being. His black
hair is in a large afro. Justinian is extremely
hairy due to the Skymordian blood that flows
through his veins, meaning he shaves every thing
off of his face daily (Sans the mustache). He
always wears jeans, a graphic t-shirt, his favorite
black hoodie, red fingerless gloves to hide his
Lumordian hand markings. He wears black sneakers
(usually Converses (unless we aren't allowed to
have specific brand names in our bios.)). Justinian is
never seen without his backpack, where he holds
his laptop and asprin. He always has his smart
phone, a mechanical pencil, a pen light, his wallet
(which holds his driver's license and a picture of his
mother.), a 32 GB USB drive, his apartment keys,
and his name tag for the convenience store he
works at.
3a. Abilities Part 1- Paranormal
Cloning - Justinian has the ability to maintain 20
clones of himself. Justinian can control each clone
individually, but it gives him a killer headache after
about 5 minutes. This power is not present in any
of Justinian's ancestors.
Energy Creation and Manipulation - Justinian can
conjure and manipulate a mysterious energy at will. The energy is created whenever Justinian's adrenaline levels heighten.
The origin is unknown at the moment due to all the Skymordians being purged by the Lumordians. The energy is dark with an orangish glow in the
middle. He is only limited by his imagination with
this power. This power is derived from the
Skymordians.
Healing - Thanks to his Lumordian bloodline,
Justinian can heal himself at will, given about 20
seconds or so. Justinian's
hand markings glow bright green when the ability is
in use, and dulls down as the healing process takes
place.
3b. Abilities Part 2 - Normal
Skilled Jiu Jitsu Practitioner - Justinian has studied
the art of Jiu Jitsu since he was 6. He is near fatal
just based off of his melee attacks. When he adds
his energy and clones into the attacks, Justinian is
tough to beat.
Computers - Justinian loves computers to the
point that he keeps his laptop with him constantly,
along with a 32 GB flash drive.
Parkour - Justinian is an accomplished freerunner.
His experiences with parkour help him find exits
that few ever could. Justinian always has his escape route mapped out.
Use of Weaponry - Justinian makes use of twin
daggers awarded to him the day he recieved the
coveted Black Belt 1st Dan. He can cover them
with energy to add to the deadlieness of the daggers.
4. Bio: Coming soon, even though it deserves a
rewrite.

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http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198041039390
It's been a while, so bear with me if I can't remember certain technical things about the game.


Last edited by drwill439 on Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:41 am, edited 5 times in total.



Fri Feb 24, 2012 6:53 pm
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Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2011 3:14 pm
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Location: 3 o'clock
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A good rule of thumb is that you shouldn't describe your characters by comparing them to others.
Anything that's unknown is subject to being taken as laziness on the part of the writer. If I were you, I'd give the energy power some kind of origin, or at least a reason for it being unknown.
And speaking of powers, your character seems to have a very broad range of abilities. In fact, between cloning himself, rapid healing, green lantern powers, martial arts proficiency and telekinesis, I would even daresay he's just a teensy weensy little bit ridiculously overpowered. It's good to see that you're at least trying to limit these, but quite frankly, you're going to have to make his powers much less potent, probably even drop one or two entirely.
What's more, I am extremely perplexed by his lineage.
Unless he was conceived by three parents rather than two, I don't see how his heritage could possibly be split into thirds like that.
Other than that, all I can say is keep practicing.


Fri Feb 24, 2012 7:30 pm
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Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:17 pm
Posts: 337
Location: Earth. Its where I keep all my stuff.
Gender: Male
Skype: wanderson_439
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Thanks for the crits, Grenade. I do explain the lineage in the upcoming bio. His father is a mix of the two races. I just need to condense the bio a bit and I'll edit it in. I think you're right about him being OP, I think I'm gonna drop Teleportation and maybe Telekinesis.
Edit: Fixed the description up some.

_________________
http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198041039390
It's been a while, so bear with me if I can't remember certain technical things about the game.


Last edited by drwill439 on Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:22 am, edited 1 time in total.



Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:01 am
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Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2011 3:14 pm
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No, seriously. How did he get to be 1/3 of each? The math just doesn't work!


Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:06 am
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If his father is a mix of two races it's be 1/4 and 1/4 and then 1/2 human

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Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:11 am
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Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:17 pm
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Location: Earth. Its where I keep all my stuff.
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Skype: wanderson_439
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I always thought that if you have 3 different races, you go for thirds. I could be wrong, though. Just to make it easier, I'll change it.
Edit: Fixed again.

_________________
http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198041039390
It's been a while, so bear with me if I can't remember certain technical things about the game.


Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:38 am
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