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RP character bio: SAX(now redone... a second time) 
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Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2011 8:12 pm
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i regret nothing.

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Sun Oct 02, 2011 9:41 am
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Then you will never improve! The first step to refinement of an art is open-mindedness to your many, many flaws; if you lack such a thing, you have already failed. You should not even ask our opinions if you will refuse to derive anything from them.


Sun Oct 02, 2011 12:23 pm
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Kyzak!~ wrote:
Then you will never improve! The first step to refinement of an art is open-mindedness to your many, many flaws; if you lack such a thing, you have already failed. You should not even ask our opinions if you will refuse to derive anything from them.

when you put it that way, two things come to me:
1. I made myself sound like a friggin hyporcrite and you proved it.
2. im not going to fail, i will try to improve,even if it means by just taking advice and using it to help.

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Sun Oct 02, 2011 5:34 pm
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Constructive criticism IS advice. Advice isn't what you want to hear, advice is everything that is meant to correct your wrongs, even if you don't agree with it.

Also I see you updated it.

Thanks for the two extra bits of information.
Now I know he's human and his first name.

That's a start.

But goddammit, this is the worst thing you could ever do:
SniperAssassinX wrote:
other than that no one knows where he came from or why he is here.


Stop being a lazy a****** and write this s*** down.

You think it's too much to write 2 paragraphs on his history?
Wait until you get into writing stories and screenplays where you basically have to detail the entire life of a character, every waking moment, no matter how insignificant, so you understand them inside and out and write them realistically.
Stop acting like this s*** is optional and grow up.

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Tue Oct 04, 2011 10:51 pm
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Whimzer wrote:
Constructive criticism IS advice. Advice isn't what you want to hear, advice is everything that is meant to correct your wrongs, even if you don't agree with it.

Also I see you updated it.

Thanks for the two extra bits of information.
Now I know he's human and his first name.

That's a start.

But goddammit, this is the worst thing you could ever do:
SniperAssassinX wrote:
other than that no one knows where he came from or why he is here.


Stop being a lazy a****** and write this s#%$& down.

You think it's too much to write 2 paragraphs on his history?
Wait until you get into writing stories and screenplays where you basically have to detail the entire life of a character, every waking moment, no matter how insignificant, so you understand them inside and out and write them realistically.
Stop acting like this s#%$& is optional and grow up.

maybe im not putting in the 2 extra paragraphs, cause im busy with other stuff and btw i have a story going on at exploding rabbit forums,look it up guy, look it up,and tell me that it isnt good, i dare you. Yes im a c*** mofo.

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Thu Oct 06, 2011 1:25 pm
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You think you're busy?

Listen, buddy, I've got 4 college applications to do before November, An assload of coursework every week, music to compose and record, several hobbies I barely have time for, AND I still could take the time out of my life to write 2 goddamn paragraphs.

And judging by how you write, I bet your story is a piece of s***.

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Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:07 pm
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I looked up his story. I assume this is the one he spoke of, seeing as it is the only one I can find! I will provide a summary for the busied; it is not up to his boasts at all.

Sniper, I will attempt to save us both some time. If you're here for mindless praise, you're about two years late. This was up to our standards when we were young and unwise-more so than we are now--; that is no longer the case. Over the aforementioned span, this forum has garnered writers who are legitimately half-competent, and as such, we give credit where it is due, not asked for; if you do not intend to learn, there's not much point in posting in this thread, because education is all most of us intend to provide.

Thank you for your time.


Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:45 pm
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no problem kyzak, and im not really here for mindless praise(maybe i should go edit out the part where im asking for what people think about it) also that story is not really my best, but its good right? also you are right it is my only story(well my second, the first story was on the forums before it went to xen foro) and im kinda new-ish(joined in september i think). anyway i still have things to learn and do,so yeah.

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Fri Oct 07, 2011 12:36 pm
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No, dude. No, it's not good. Bad sentence structure, flagrant misuse of grammatical contraction(It's/its), wildly fluctuating grammar in general, bad plot, very little detail; none of these things, by themselves or together, make a decent story. Most people would harp on your choice of setting-these dudes are beating up these dudes for no reason--, too, but to each his own.

Whimmy provided an apt summary of your biography's flaws; if you really wish to improve, focus on what he has said. Be aware, however, there will still be many things wrong with it even after you fix the most glaring inconsistencies. Your ability to improve hinges on recognizing the little details that are wrong-without them being pointed out for you-- and bringing them up to the standards of the rest.


Fri Oct 07, 2011 2:23 pm
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A character sheet containing the appropriate amount of detail that most people consider good would be at least about an entire word processor page or two. If you're not prepared to put in that much thought and care into this, it's not the right thing for you.

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Fri Oct 07, 2011 2:28 pm
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i think im going to go do something else for now, i mean you guys are pros,you have much more experience than i do(can you tell i'm being sarcastic about this?) but enough is enough, im not going to fool around and not edit the friggin bio, im going to go do this as we speak. and another thing, i really dont give two cents about if my story sucks or not, i mean seriously,it's a simple story, that starts out one summer afternoon two guys are just chillin' yadda yadda yadda(read the story, im not going to explain it.) i think i made my point, 'm i right?

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Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:25 pm
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- No, sarcasm can't really be shown without some sign.
- Okay, though really improvement is a nice thing even to simple stories.

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Sat Oct 08, 2011 11:12 am
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a generic back story for a generic character.

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Sat Oct 08, 2011 1:05 pm
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Whimzer wrote:
a generic back story for a generic character.

honestly you may have your points on things, but i dont give a Sh*t about it, so if you find my characters' backstory generic, then that is your opinion, and i dont care if my character is generic, he's a guy who has a strong sense of justice, who cares about his friends and family, who would even sacrifice his own life to make sure that what he is fighting for stays, and if you still think that he is generic, then i guess there is no point in trying to convince a guy like you.

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Sat Oct 08, 2011 5:52 pm
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Actually yeah, that's pretty generic. And also not his backstory.

Seeing as I'm posting here anyway, may as well put up some actual critique; namely being the fact that you need to accept other people's criticism because I'm not particularly good at giving criticism and they've said p. much everything anyway.

You're not going to get anywhere by blatantly ignoring any notion that you did not do a good job; if you really want to be a better writer, you need to accept these things and use this criticism to better your writing ability. If you don't you generally don't move forward and just sorta stay... well, bad. Which is totes lame.

Also! Seeing your sarcasm 'n stuff... do you really think you're more experienced because you're writing some... THING on another website? Because I'm pretty sure that everyone criticizing you has probably written a number of things (I know I have!) so that really doesn't hold any water.

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Sat Oct 08, 2011 6:34 pm
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