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My first RP 
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Joined: Thu May 07, 2009 7:00 pm
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Location: Toronto
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MGN Username: Nixter
Currently Playing: Binding of Isaac: Rebirth
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Ok, time to make my first RP character

Name: Dexterix, Dexto for short

Hight: 4'11

Age: 14

Dominant hand: Left

Personality: Relitivaly calm but will attack anyone who annoys him and he will hold a grudge on someone for along time

Special atribuites/skill,etc.: Potent magic user, guns and the like, dagger, good alchemy skill (for potions an posions), fast,intellegent,luck, and accurate

Weakneses: Not strong physically, dependent, mistakes friends for foes, fumbles sometimes, and has a weakness to magic

Hair color: brownish blonde

Eye color: Blue

Likes: Reading, shooting guns, honing skills, winning,humiliating foes, helping friends, making jokes, left handed people, and alchemy

Dislikes: Writing, drawing, having to get in close in the fray, doing absoulutly nothing, people with magic, people who thinks there bettter than him, and requiereing help

Story backround Dexterix grew up with is family that was very poor he had 3 sisters all older than him and zero brothers. His father would beat his family almost every day. One eveining Dexto came to see his father holding an knife to his mother, Dexterix grabed a revolver that the family owned and shot his father in the leg, causing him th flinch and fall to the ground Dexterix walked up to him and said, "Your life is over, you peice of cow s***!" And he shot him right in the brain. His mother ran up to him with mixed emotions, "Son" She said with glistining eyes, "Son, you have killed your own blood... your father... but, you did the right thing, Iam proud of you for you have saved my life now we can move on but with only me working we need more money." then an idea spaked in Dexterix' head, "Don't worry mum, I've got an idea, I'll enter a sharpshooting contest and win everthing this damn world owes us!" And so he did and won first place, but then the decided to see more of the world, and thus his jouney began...

Well, there you have it! Feedback is highly aperciated, so, tell me how I did!

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Fri Apr 22, 2011 8:58 am
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Location: being a genius Gender: little girl
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dad, i am in space
i am proud of you son
dad, are you space?
yes, now we are a family again


Fri Apr 22, 2011 11:02 am
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Joined: Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:58 pm
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Location: Kalifornio
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If you have no constructive criticism, get out, f*****.


Anyway, coolnick, this is pretty good for a first try.
I'd say more description and detail on his appearance, like clothes, muscular build, etc. and his personality.

The story is a bit generic, and I'd flesh it out more. Explain how he learn abilities, magic, etc. so that the reader understands more about him.

A lot of people don't like teenage characters, because they're a bit generic.
I'd make him older, maybe 18 or 19 as the minimum.

Definitely not bad otherwise.

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Fri Apr 22, 2011 2:45 pm
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I like your character and cannot wait to see it in one of the RPs. Just make sure you don't provoke my character.

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Fri Apr 22, 2011 3:49 pm
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Whimzer wrote:
If you have no constructive criticism, get out, f*****.

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Fri Apr 22, 2011 4:57 pm
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Fri Apr 22, 2011 10:13 pm
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coolnick123 wrote:
"Your life is over, you peice of cow s***!"

I still read this section to see gems like this

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Fri Apr 22, 2011 10:30 pm
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Umm thank you?

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Sat Apr 23, 2011 9:06 am
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