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Wizzquizz wrote:
So wait...Am I accepted or not? I have another OC idea if needed.

Yeah you're in. Don't worry about it


Fri May 03, 2013 5:45 am
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Ok, I know this isn't my RP, but dear lord Deus needs to be less of a God-Mod (Or completely scrapped >.>) There is no balance to it whatsoever; if it runs out of batteries it can solar charge, if it runs out of all energy and it doesn't want to solar charge it can run on an emergency battery capable of lasting for DAYS. Take into account that on top of that this thing has multiple high powered weapons.

Then we can look at the immune system problem and the lack of proper bones thing and it just doesn't really make any sense, unless you see that character dying in the near future, because as soon as that tank runs out of energy, the dude inside is dead. As soon as someone makes a puncture into the machine, the dude is dead. Unless you don't ever plan on letting the thing run out of energy or getting hurt which leads us back to the god mod.

Rather than going all out, as this is cyberpunk, typically a dystopian near-future, not a hyper advanced sci-fi future, I suggest you make another character without all the bells and whistles. Just your run of the mill human with exceptional talents in a particular sphere of interest. I'm saying this as constructive criticism and not an outright attack. The only way for one's abilities to improve are to point out the errors so that the same mistakes aren't made the next time. Believe you and me, my early RPing days makes me want to slap myself silly, but I eventually kinda got better...right? >.> <.<

My two cents.

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Fri May 03, 2013 8:42 am
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The emergency back up will only allow for the filtration system to run. The emergency battery isn't capable of supporting movement or combat. And yes if it gets punctured Danny has a short to no time to leave. And the suit isn't just a helpful thing either it also has some draw backs. The suit uses more power than the solar panels can absorb. Also one destroyed panel renders all of the solar panels useless. As well as if you knock the suit over Danny becomes a "turtle" Unable to stand without help. Danny also can bend over in the suit. This suit is also loud and slow, making him completely useless in stealth missions. I also had planned on the machine running out of energy several times, the suit will lockup and wait to be charged, using the back up as just a filtration system.

I understand your concern. If he's to much of a problem I have another OC in mind. I just wanted to see if this will make him seem less OP.

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Fri May 03, 2013 9:55 am
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Dunno if I can have multiple characters but...here's the proposition anywho

Username: Kiki
Name: Jonathan "Jonny" Samuel Fordson
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Faction: Hood
Appearance: Standing roughly at 6 feet (more or less), Jonny has a physically fit swimmer's build and tanned skin. His eyes are light brown and friendly, and the crows feet around his eyes imply that he laughs a lot. His hair is light brown like his sister's and cut short, pulled into a sharp faux-hawk.
He often wears a muscle defining pale blue t-shirt with a black leather jacket, fitted navy blue jeans and black sneakers. Behind his right ear is a tattoo of a small lock. Over his eyes he wears a pair of regular sunglasses while outdoors, or using the Cy-Five. He takes pride in his appearance, and is well aware of his natural good lucks, using it to his advantage as necessary.
Talents: Jonny is an exceptional practitioner of parkour; his body is lithe and agile, though he is also a competent hand-to-hand fighter. His will is also notably formidable, pushing himself on by sheer will alone to go beyond his limits. He is also fairly charming and likeable person, able to talk himself out of problematic situations.
Personality: Jonny is lighthearted and a dreamer. A smooth talking breath of fresh air, though also a mischievous and moderately narcissistic pal. He's the type of person to make friends wherever he goes, and try as you may, it is difficult to dislike him. He has a righteous desire to help right the wrongs of society by working with Hood and strongly believes in their ideals. He has a strong bond with his younger sister, though he is also fairly protective, if not overprotective, of her as well. He lives for his friends, his family, and the downtrodden of society.
Equipment:
Stun-Staff - A weapon devised by his sister, the stun-staff is a pocket-sized cylinder that expands with the push of a button into a long pole, a mechanical rather than electronic process. The pole can then be activated to run a current of electricity through it stunning those it comes into contact.
Semi-Automatic Pistol - A regular semi-automatic pistol that Jonny has legally obtained...with money earned under Hood. Is it under his own name? Nope.
The Claw - Appearing as a functional wrist watch, the claw is a device that doubles as a grappling hook or trip wire.
Cy-Five - A prototype device his sister is having Jonny test out. It is a device worn on the tip of each finger that allows one to seamlessly gain access to an electrical interface. The information is processed and dealt with by the sunglasses he wears which act as computer monitors when in use.
Background: The first child of Stan and Lacey Fordson, Jonny's life was fairly uneventful. Once upon a time his great grandparents had been middle class, though they soon succumbed to the class divide and fell into poverty. At the age of 4, Jonny's sister Jenny was born, her birth was wrought with complications but he loved his new sibling dearly. As his parents were often away at work it was up to him to raise his little sister and he did so to the best of his abilities.

At the age of 18, post-graduation, Jonny had to figure out what to do with his life. He couldn't afford to go to any sort of university, so he looked for jobs among the slums, anything to help support his family. It was on one of his job-searching runs that he came upon an altercation between Aegis troops and a small group of what he believed to be civilians. Knowing his home turf fairly well, he signalled to the civilians and they managed to evade the Aegis officers. It was then that they revealed to him that they were in fact members of Hood, and that he had put himself in danger by helping them. Sure, he had heard whispers of the group while in high school, but he had thought them to be a rumour, some sort of hopeful fabrication. He had never dreamed of joining the group, but he offered his services, he knew the streets, and he was strong. These Hood members were grateful for his help, so they allowed him to join, and he never looked back.

@Wizz

That's all fine and dandy, but I don't think you understand the imbalance, despite the implications of it running out of energy, it's still a tank, but whatever, not my RP. *shrugs*

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Fri May 03, 2013 12:46 pm
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Bear with me, I was rushed while making this, please don't bash me.

Username: Jack
Name: Terrell Morrow
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Faction: Hood
Appearance: Terrell is around 6 feet and not too large, he has a well toned white skinned body that shows he works on it to some degree. He has a rather handsome appearance and usually tries to maintain his appearance. His hair is often slicked back though on a bad day it has no form. His eyes are grey and give off a menacing appearance and he has no visible facial hair. His attire is typically a black T-shirt with a red leather jacket on top and he normally wears black jeans and red sneakers. His arms are tattooed with a pattern from his shoulders down to his elbows.
Talents: Terrell is skilled with his weapon. He has some skill in hand to hand combat though it is not great. He is mostly athletic and a fast runner.
Personality: Terrell is a very calm and laid back person. He can be friendly with mostly everyone but he will treat others as they treat him, so he can definitely be a very rude person. He shows a strong sense of selflessness and puts others above himself, willing to die to protect a fellow comrade.
Equipment: Knife- Just a regular knife.
Automatic Pistol- Legally obtained with money.
Katana- Handed down to him by his father, he usually keeps it sheathed on his back.
Background: Terrell had grown up in the lower class area of the city. For living in a poor family, Terrell had a decent childhood though as he aged he grew very resentful of the rich and how no efforts were made to assist the poor. Eventually, around the age of 18 he left his home and wandered around seeking job opportunities, he got into fighting for money but it was not the best of decisions. Eventually, he grew to be friends with a fighter who happened to be a Hood member. Terrell was introduced in time and ended up adoring Hood, he sought to join and he was accepted.


Fri May 03, 2013 2:21 pm
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Kiki has a point and here is my solution. If you don't mind, I'm going to throw some more points into his background. Basically he's going to be an experimental weapon for Aegis, and he's going to be the only one. Since he's not going to see much action for a while, I suggest you submit another character to use more often. As for his OP tank godmode, since he is essentially a robot, anything that would work against robots would work against him. That means EMPs instantly turn off his entire control system. In terms of weapons, I'm removing the rockets because the amount of weight for all that armor, he wouldn't be able to move with them. Also since he's so reliant on the suit, he will die if it breaks.

Accepted the next two characters. I'm writing up my character now and then I'll see if I can make an opening post and get this started tonight.


Fri May 03, 2013 5:19 pm
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Sounds suitable ^.^

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Fri May 03, 2013 7:16 pm
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Username: Jin
Name: Lincoln "Flower" Keaton
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Faction: Hood
Appearance: Lincoln is of average height and build with very good posture. His dark brown hair remains short on the sides and and back, and falls just on his forehead. He is normally seen wearing a light gray long sleeve tee shirt when inside. His black jeans are tucked into some dark brown combat boots. When going out, he puts on a dark brown cropped trench coat with the collar usually put up and a black scarf. When on a mission, he uses the scarf to cover the lower half of his face.
Talents: Lincoln is a skilled technician, with a passion for hovercycles. He tries to transfer his knowledge of vehicles to other pieces of technology, slowly learning how to build his own automated robots. He is also learning how to modify firearms and eventually wants to learn to build some from scratch. His shot isn't too bad either.
Personality: Lincoln believes that he will never stop learning. He is very willing to learn new things, keeping himself quiet while a teacher speaks. He's not afraid of messing up because he knows he can learn from his mistakes. When it's a matter of life and death, Lincoln is able to keep himself calm and think things through, often going to completely silent. Despite his quiet nature, he's not afraid to smile when speaking with others.
Equipment:
Modified Aegis Sub-machineguns: Lincoln scavenged a pair of standard issue Aegis sub-machineguns which he modified himself to be collapsible. He names them "Stem" and "Bloom", playing with his nickname.
Multi-purpose Mechanical Tool: A little box that fits into the palm of your hand. It contains various screwdriver heads, a soldering iron, and a mini arc welder. It's used for quick modifications and can be used as a melee weapon if needed.
"Junkyard": Lincoln's salvaged bike. It's not very fast, but it works. Made of various scrap bits he found and threw together, he treasures it as it is his first hovercycle.
Background: Lincoln grew up with his parents, working in their little flower shop. It's because of this he earned the nickname "Flower Boy" from his schoolmates. Originally he hated it and got bullied by it, but then learned to accept it. After school, he would spend time working the counter in the shop. Business was very slow in the shop, but steady enough since how much of a niche market flowers are. Lincoln always spoke to his customers with a welcoming tone, eventually getting to know the regulars. There was a particular group of men who would come in normally and were friends with his father. Often, they would go to the back room and finish speaking in there. He became friends with all of them, greeting them, telling them if his dad was in, and letting them go ahead to the back room. At the age of 13, Mr. Keaton finally decided to tell Lincoln who those guys were and what they did. His father was a member of Shell, helping build equipment while using the flower shop as a cover up. His main priority was to maintenance vehicle parts. Lincoln started to learn from his father with open ears, and eventually knew how to fix almost any vehicle with the right parts. With this new-found hobby, he decided to pursue an education in mechanical engineering.

After completing his education, Lincoln returned to work at the flower shop while helping out his father and Shell, now a part of Hood. He planned on saving up money to buy his own hovercycle, but just couldn't manage to afford it. Scavenging for parts, he found enough scraps to make a barely working hovercycle. It was pretty bad, but it was his first. One day, one of his father's friends came into the shop and saw his cycle. Admiring Lincoln's creation, the man asked him if he wanted to join Hood, stating their cause. This man was none other than Kellan Lewis. Feeling honored, he joined Hood. Kellan gave Lincoln a new nickname, dropping the "boy" and just leaving "Flower" feeling he was "no longer a boy. He's a man now". Lincoln, despite secretly wanting this nickname to go away, was ok with this. The name happened to suit him well, as people described when he fires his guns, it's just like watching the petals of a flower bloom.
Other:


Opening post coming up soon.

Also important. Since there's a whole lot of guns going on in this RP, I'm going to determine if something hits or misses based on a dice roll system. I'll assign every type of gun an accuracy rating. When you fire your gun off, I'll roll a certain dice (probably a d20). If it rolls the minimum amount, it will be considered a hit. I'm still working on it, but there won't be a firefight soon.


Fri May 03, 2013 7:32 pm
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Username:
JamesClyde

Name:
周軒耀 or Zhou Xuanyao. He prefers to be called Jason, though.

Gender:
Male

Age:
21

Faction:
Jade Dragons.

Appearance:
He has straight, medium-length brown hair that only just touches the collar of his black shirt, his fringe laying above his jet-black eyes, devoid of any pity or mercy. His porcelain-white skin is comforted by his black shirt that has its top button unbuttoned, his black shirt covering the top part of his black, baggy pants that reach down to his ankles. His black baggy pants lay subtly over his black ankle socks, which are covered by his black sneakers that always seem to have their short shoelaces tied in an advanced knot. He keeps his dual broadswords(or dual daos) in oriental sheaths placed behind his shirt.

Talents:
Zhou grew up with a knack for Wushu and War, and so at a very early age he began training with the Shaolin monks. As soon as he finished his training, he knew all the styles of wushu(also known as kung fu) and could use a variety of weapons without problem. Also, Zhou became extremely fast since then, and has gained superhuman like abilities(eg: Being able to cut a bullet in half as it's speeding towards him; Being able to run faster than the average human runner). However, those were gained through hard work and possibly, awakened genes.

Personality:
Jason(or Zhou) is a very calm person, never resorting to violence unless it is absolutely necessary. He is quite friendly, and is quite proficient at speaking English and Chinese. He is very logical as well; he is logical enough to try and see things from the enemy's perspective. He is dead set on completing any mission given to him- given it does not break his beliefs.

Equipment:
Dual Broadswords+Sheaths:
They're dual broadswords made from the finest of carbon steel, and their handles are laced with the softest of cotton.

Background:
Growing up as an orphan, he was raised by Shaolin monks who immigrated to Neon city and was taught the ways of the Shaolin monks, their beliefs, their martial arts, etc. He was naturally quite eager to learn, and so he learned quickly under them. He learned all the styles of wushu, and could switch styles quickly(eg: From tiger kung fu to crane kung fu). But that was all through hard work and determination. As soon as his training was finished(at the age of 20), the Jade Dragons approached him and asked Zhou to help them restore the planet back to its natural state. Since their beliefs were mostly the same, how could Zhou not agree? Still, Zhou pressed them for more. The Jade Dragons gave him dual broadswords with sheaths.

Other:
I hope this is enough. :P

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Fri May 03, 2013 7:52 pm
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JamesClyde wrote:
Username:
JamesClyde

Name:
周軒耀 or Zhou Xuanyao. He prefers to be called Jason, though.

Gender:
Male

Age:
21

Faction:
Jade Dragons.

Appearance:
He has straight, medium-length brown hair that only just touches the collar of his black shirt, his fringe laying above his jet-black eyes, devoid of any pity or mercy. His porcelain-white skin is comforted by his black shirt that has its top button unbuttoned, his black shirt covering the top part of his black, baggy pants that reach down to his ankles. His black baggy pants lay subtly over his black ankle socks, which are covered by his black sneakers that always seem to have their short shoelaces tied in an advanced knot. He keeps his dual broadswords(or dual daos) in oriental sheaths placed behind his shirt.

Talents:
Zhou grew up with a knack for Wushu and War, and so at a very early age he began training with the Shaolin monks. As soon as he finished his training, he knew all the styles of wushu(also known as kung fu) and could use a variety of weapons without problem. Also, Zhou became extremely fast since then, and has gained superhuman like abilities(eg: Being able to cut a bullet in half as it's speeding towards him; Being able to run faster than the average human runner). However, those were gained through hard work and possibly, awakened genes.

Personality:
Jason(or Zhou) is a very calm person, never resorting to violence unless it is absolutely necessary. He is quite friendly, and is quite proficient at speaking English and Chinese. He is very logical as well; he is logical enough to try and see things from the enemy's perspective. He is dead set on completing any mission given to him- given it does not break his beliefs.

Equipment:
Dual Broadswords+Sheaths:
They're dual broadswords made from the finest of carbon steel, and their handles are laced with the softest of cotton.

Background:
Growing up as an orphan, he was raised by Shaolin monks who immigrated to Neon city and was taught the ways of the Shaolin monks, their beliefs, their martial arts, etc. He was naturally quite eager to learn, and so he learned quickly under them. He learned all the styles of wushu, and could switch styles quickly(eg: From tiger kung fu to crane kung fu). But that was all through hard work and determination. As soon as his training was finished(at the age of 20), the Jade Dragons approached him and asked Zhou to help them restore the planet back to its natural state. Since their beliefs were mostly the same, how could Zhou not agree? Still, Zhou pressed them for more. The Jade Dragons gave him dual broadswords with sheaths.

Other:
I hope this is enough. :P


Work on his backstory. The Jade Dragons aren't the type of group to find people to join them. LG's background does a very good job of how they obtain new members, so I would look to that for inspiration. Also he will stand absolutely no chance in a fight. Despite him being able to cut bullets, I'm not going to let him do that to every shot fired at him, that would be incredibly god mod like. Rework it a bit and then I'll reconsider.


Fri May 03, 2013 7:58 pm
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@Jin
Perhaps you're looking at it the wrong way. The Jade Dragons do not like using technology. Since Zhou is like that as well, wouldn't it be better for him to only use swords, as he despises technology as much as the Jade Dragons do? And I'm not saying he can cut EVERY bullet that comes at him. I'm saying that if, say, a bullet from a pistol is shot at him. He would probably cut it, and run towards the opponent. But once the opponent shoots again, since Zhou won't be standing still, he probably won't be able to deflect it or dodge it, leaving him with a wound somewhere around his shoulder, as he would be able to move a little bit before the bullet hits him.

And yeah. I guess I'll look at LG's bio for inspiration. The bio part will be ready soon.

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Fri May 03, 2013 8:07 pm
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JamesClyde wrote:
@Jin
Perhaps you're looking at it the wrong way. The Jade Dragons do not like using technology. Since Zhou is like that as well, wouldn't it be better for him to only use swords, as he despises technology as much as the Jade Dragons do? And I'm not saying he can cut EVERY bullet that comes at him. I'm saying that if, say, a bullet from a pistol is shot at him. He would probably cut it, and run towards the opponent. But once the opponent shoots again, since Zhou won't be standing still, he probably won't be able to deflect it or dodge it, leaving him with a wound somewhere around his shoulder, as he would be able to move a little bit before the bullet hits him.

And yeah. I guess I'll look at LG's bio for inspiration. The bio part will be ready soon.

I said the Jade Dragons deny the use of major technologies. They still use firearms to give them a fighting chance. They are also an extremist group, meaning they will do whatever they want to get their message across, in this case, blowing up bombs. They are not pacifists. If your character doesn't like resorting to violence, he won't fit in at all. Also bullets have a tendency to move faster than a running man. I just want him to have a chance and not be shot down immediately.

First post is up btw.


Fri May 03, 2013 8:19 pm
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Since there's issues with Danny being OP or GM whatever, I'll just scrap him. Your more than welcome to make him a NPC though. I will have another character up momentarily.

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Fri May 03, 2013 8:52 pm
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Jin wrote:
LG's background does a very good job of how they obtain new members


Haha, yesss. It's not often a shot in the dark hits the bull's eye.


Fri May 03, 2013 8:54 pm
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Wizzquizz wrote:
Since there's issues with Danny being OP or GM whatever, I'll just scrap him. Your more than welcome to make him a NPC though. I will have another character up momentarily.

Alright. I'll keep the idea somewhere with the secret weapon thing.


Fri May 03, 2013 9:11 pm
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